When people cannot handle their defiled intentions, they use outside energy – they listen to dhamma talks or stay near the teacher – to help them stop the defilements. But when you’re on your own, you need to use a lot of your own energy – a lot of motivation, a lot of effort.
New yogis use a lot of outside energy from the surrounding to help them to meditate. If you’re alone in your room, the practice is not very strong because nobody cares and you may even sleep. If you come to the dhamma hall, your mind becomes stronger because external influence helps to boost your energy to meditate.
But in daily life where you’re alone, it is more difficult to practice. Your surrounding is not helping you; it is even undermining your practice. When you interact with everybody outside, there are lots of defilements because they have lots of defilements.
So, you need a lot of motivation, a lot of effort to maintain your practice in daily life. It’s the same with me – if I did not suffer so much, I wouldn’t have practiced like this. I suffered so much that I needed to meditate. Suffering helped me to practice. This is all due to conditioning.