1001. DAYDREAMING ON THE CUSHION
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 5 (15:35-19:45)
Yogi: My mind keeps slipping away into daydreaming during the sit, and I really want to get out of the sitting. It doesn’t happen when I’m active.
There are moments when I’m awake after struggling, but do I need to go through this fight?
Sayadaw: Day dreaming and night dreaming are the same – they’re thinking.
You need to give your mind work – your mind is idling during sitting meditation. In sitting meditation, the mind has less to do and not so alert.
You need to direct the mind. Try to ask yourself constantly from the start of the sit: Am I thinking or am I aware? Check again and again if you’re thinking or aware.
1002. CONCENTRATION PRACTICE IMPROVES BY KNOWING THE MIND
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 6 (11:30-16:03)
Yogi: I have done concentration practice and sometimes the energy rises very high in the body into the head and I end up with a headache. And at the end of the day on retreat, it’s hard to sleep because everything is heightened.
But I don’t find that happening with awareness-wisdom practice. Can Sayadaw give some advice when I do concentration practice?
Sayadaw: You need to hold a single object loosely when you use it. I don’t recommend holding on for dear life when you use any single object.
The key is balance really. When we look at a single object, we can get a little intense. It is because we don’t know the way the mind is working to place itself on that object again and again.
If we were simply placing the attention again and again, we’ll be fine, but if we start to press the mind onto the object, we’re using too much energy.
The energy gets too much when we’re always too much into the object.
If we can see how much energy the mind uses to look at an object, then it can choose to reduce the energy when the tension builds up or put in more energy when it feels floaty.
It’s always best when the yogi can gauge their own level of effort and sati, or how they’re being aware. You can become much skillful at practicing when you can tune in to that.
1003. TRAINING TO KNOW THE AWARENESS
20200209 Not let it think, let it know // Sayadaw U Tejaniya‘s Dhamma Interview (3:50-5:20)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOLAomXcl6A
Yogi: I have been using an anchor object like the breath to keep me in the present and then I can also notice thoughts, sounds and body warmth. But when I try to notice the awareness, I get trapped into thinking about the awareness.
Sayadaw: You can already notice many objects; so, just ask yourself ‘is awareness present or not?’ If you just ask, the mind will then notice if awareness is present.
Don’t try too much or you’ll start to think more. Naturally the mind can know; just reminding with a question is enough.
1004. AWARENESS WITH AND WITHOUT WISDOM
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 6 (1:03:45-1:07:53)
Yogi: I’m not sure what you mean by awareness. I experience 2 levels of awareness – when I’m just feeling the sensations and when the watching mind sees me feeling the sensations.
Sayadaw: When you get to that watching mind where there’s freedom and you can know anything, that’s not only awareness, there’s also wisdom there. There’s already wisdom there; that’s why it feels so free and it can know so much so easily.
Once that wisdom fades, you feel yourself down again and just feeling the sensations.
Yogi: To get to the second level, I have to start over again.
Sayadaw: Yes, you always start at the bottom and you work yourself to the top again.
1005. NOTICE THAT THOUGHTS ARE HAPPENING
20200209 Not let it think, let it know // Sayadaw U Tejaniya‘s Dhamma Interview (2:08-3:30) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOLAomXcl6A
Yogi: I could be aware of walking, sensations and thinking at the same time. I thought I should only be aware of the walking.
Sayadaw: Don’t focus only on the walking. Because your awareness is sharp, it can pay attention to walking and still know the thoughts.
Your awareness is good, but the problem is that you don’t like the thoughts.
Yogi: What should I do when I see the thoughts?
Sayadaw: Let the mind know.
Yogi: Let the mind think?
Sayadaw: No, not let the mind think, but let the mind know that thinking is happening.
You’re not deliberately thinking, right? It just comes; so, you’re not responsible for it. You just intentionally try to be aware – try to notice that thinking is happening.
1006. MEDITATION IS TRAINING THE MIND
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 5 (1:14:58-1:16:49)
Yogi: How do we work with mental suffering – like the mind latching onto thoughts and how to work with that?
Sayadaw: The practice of meditation is a discipline – it’s training the mind so that we don’t have to suffer the things that the mind willfully wants to do like causing us to think again and again about something that we really don’t want to suffer from. But if we don’t train the mind, we don’t have the option to stop that suffering.
When we train the mind, that option becomes available to us because now the mind knows how to pay attention to an object, how to place the mind here or there, how to observe a feeling and not get lost in the thinking, or how to have right attitude. All those help to deal with hurtful thoughts.
Each of the exercises that we do will help to deal with that.
1007. ATTACHMENT TO THINKING
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 5 (1:20:05-1:21:23)
Yogi: This attachment to thinking is frightening. How do I get rid of it? It feels like we’re human thinking and not human beings.
Sayadaw: We need mindfulness and wisdom. When there is enough wisdom, the mind will know what is enough – what is necessary to think of and what is unnecessary or tormenting thinking.
We do have a lot of attachment to thinking – it makes us feel real and validated.
1008. RECOGNIZE THE BENEFIT OF AWARENESS IN THE PRESENT MOMENT
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 4 (44:20-50:35)
Yogi: I have been practicing at home, but I notice there’s still a big gap between the retreat practice and practice in daily life. I think it’s because I talk a lot in everyday life.
Is it possible to have the same calmness and tidiness of mind in daily life?
Sayadaw: Now that you practice more at home than you used to, do you feel a difference? Is there a sense that it is more beneficial? That the mind is more stable?
Instead of reaching for a goal, think of the present moment. For me, when I was mindful, it was a little better than just being depressed.
Rely on what your present moment experience is – is it better than not being mindful? Is this much mindful better than being less mindful than this?
Let that motivate you to be mindful.
1009. BEAUTY IS A CONCEPT
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 4 (58:20-59:30)
Yogi: When I’m outside and am aware of seeing, everything is equal, but often there are things that catch my attention that are beautiful. Is beauty always a concept?
Sayadaw: It is a value judgment of the mind because what you find beautiful somebody else may find ugly or neutral.
Beauty is a concept; so, it’s not a reality. If it was a reality, everyone would experience it the same way.
If someone likes red, then red is beautiful. If someone likes blue, blue is beautiful.
1010. THE MIND CAN’T BE SEEN WHEN TOO EAGER TO LOOK FOR IT
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 5 (1:18:08-1:19:39)
Yogi: I was fascinated by the attitude of my mind and had been watching that, but now I couldn’t find it.
Sayadaw: It’s already there and you probably don’t have to search for it. Because the mind is too eager, you couldn’t see it – just lay down the desires, and simply start anew from the body.
If you have seen those attitudes over the years, they will come up anew.
When we look for the mind, sometimes it hides from us and if you don’t look for it, you just stay in the present moment, it’ll put itself in front of you.
1011. WHEN EVERYTHING FEELS LIKE THE SAME OLD THING
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 6 (1:26:34-1:28:08)
Yogi: The mind is dull and it feels like everything is old.
Sayadaw: When we start to feel that the practice is not fresh and light, we need to check our attitude. Is the mind wanting something?
You check your attitude and now you see your attitude – the mind doesn’t like the present moment. So, you now have to start watching the aversion.
We just take what we are given – this is the present moment and we take that.
If we keep on comparing the dullness with the morning freshness, we’ll keep going in circles for days. We don’t need to want what we had in the morning; we just need to be aware of the present moment as it is.
Yogi: I was thinking that I was doing something wrong.
Sayadaw: There is no need to be good; we only need to be aware.
1012. IT TAKES TIME TO GROW THE MOTIVATION TO BE AWARE
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 6 (00:12-2:50)
Yogi: Sometimes I’m aware, sometimes I’m not aware, and sometimes, I’m not sure. Other times, I don’t want to be aware. It takes an effort to go against this habit. Can I have another attitude that allows me to be aware, or is it a luxury to be aware?
Sayadaw: The mind doesn’t want to be aware because delusion doesn’t really want to be aware. It’s only when we use some wisdom like ‘we really should try to be aware’, but delusion will prefer us not to be aware so that it can do whatever it wants.
So both motivations – the motivation to be aware and the motivation to not be aware – will be present and competing.
We need more understanding about awareness so that the motivation to be aware will grow stronger; and it takes time.
1013. AWARENESS CAN BE STABILIZED WITH WISDOM OR WITH METTA
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 6 (37:50-46:10)
Yogi: When a strong mental or bodily pain arises, it needs more than be watched; it needs to be touched and loved.
Sayadaw: If we’re guided by right view, we become willing to observe something.
Many teachers teach to have some metta for ourselves when we face a difficult emotion so that the mind can observe in a softer way. The effect is to reduce the aversion towards the experience, to make the mind more willing to approach it.
The hope is for the yogi to find a way to approach the experience in a way that is not painful.
I would always view the object as not mine or universal and something interesting, but for some of us viewing the experience with kindness brings positivity to the observing too.
If we find we’re able to bring up kindness and view our difficult experience with kindness, it serves the same purpose. The point is that we become willing to accept and observe; it doesn’t matter if it is interest or kindness which brings that acceptance and willingness.
Once the mind can find the right stance to accept and observe, then it’s fine.
1014. GREED IS HARDER TO DETECT
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 6 (52:00-53:55)
Yogi: I saw many things I like during the walk but I couldn’t see the greed. But when I saw things I didn’t like, immediately I saw aversion. For me, greed is more difficult to detect than aversion.
Sayadaw: Aversion is always easier to recognize because aversion is quite rough. Greed is not always obvious because greed is kind of sugar-coated and tastes nice.
When greed is very strong, when it is grasping, it is obvious. When greed gets to the point that it is causing tension in you, then you’ll know it.
1015. WHEN THERE’S WISDOM, THE OBJECT FEELS LESS SUBSTANTIAL
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 6 (58:05-1:01:40)
Yogi: I have habitual very aversive thoughts – I’m totally identified with them. And I start to see the wanting in the stories to fix the past. Seeing the wanting, the thoughts are still there, but they become light and less solid.
Sayadaw: The cause of aversion is greed.
When you saw the greed in the aversive thoughts and they didn’t feel so solid, it is because there’s some wisdom in that seeing.
When we see the direct cause of something, it doesn’t feel so solid because wisdom is present.
In a sense, you’re seeing it as it is. You’re seeing the reality of what is happening.
1016. SUFFERING INTENSIFY WHEN MIND IS BELIEVED AS MINE
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 4 (54:05-58:17)
Yogi: I’m frustrated and sad when there’s a lot of judgment and sometimes my mind is so stupid because it is such a waste of time. Sometimes I do compassion for myself when it is really hard and that loosens the tension.
Sayadaw: The main culprit for hating these minds that arise, the main reason we have so much aversion to these minds, is because we think ‘it is my mind’.
If it was not my mind but some other person’s mind, we would not hate it so much.
Remember that judging is one of the nature of the mind, not only your mind can have it; every other person’s mind can have it.
And this sort of mind is just conditioning. These minds have manifested before and now they manifest again. It is not our fault; it is just conditions that have allowed them to arise.
Everything we experience now is just the effect of past conditions.
1017. DON’T LABEL THE DEFILEMENTS UNLESS SURE
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 5 (45:40-50:00)
Yogi: Seeing the moon, I feel a sense of joy and gratitude. The mountain here is so beautiful and so are the flowers. I’m aware of them and the next thing I’m saying that they are beautiful.
And I say ‘it’s lobha’.
Sayadaw: You see a flower and you think it’s beautiful, just know that. You don’t have to label it as greed because you’re not even sure that it’s greed. Just because you think that it’s beautiful doesn’t immediately make it greed.
Know as it is; don’t label it unless it’s very clear to you that it’s greed.
I’m seeing, seeing is happening; I notice it’s yellow and that I’m starting to think it’s beautiful. And this is what it feels like.
Don’t have a fixed idea that when I’m mindful I have to do this and that mustn’t happen. It’s like if this happens, this is happening now and if that happens, that is happening now.
And you’re mindful every moment.
We don’t have to fix the future or fix the object.
1018. WISDOM AND CONFIDENCE SHOW UP WHEN WE CONTINUE TO PRACTICE
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (07:55-10:43)
Yogi: I thought I was following Sayadaw’s instructions, but I wasn’t really doing it right. And it was inspiring today when I could really follow his instructions.
The moment I could follow Sayadaw’s instructions, the mind changed and I could see things clearly. Confidence arose and I felt relieved.
Sayadaw: When the practice falls into place, it brings up a lot of faith and inspires the mind to continue. However, don’t discount the previous days – it was because the mind was trying those days that it fell into place today.
Yogi: I also appreciate the simplicity of Sayadaw’s instructions because they are really simple. It is incredible how we make them complicated and manage to entangle something that is really straight forward.
Sayadaw: It is the nature of the unwholesome minds to complicate things – that is their job.
1019. FIRE-PROOFING THE MIND
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (26:00-32:25)
Yogi: I have a problem with my old and frail parents and I need Sayadaw’s advice how to handle it when I go back.
My mum is in a nursing home and my dad is giving me a hard time. I feel for him, but I still have my issues from the past.
What is a wise way to deal with this?
Sayadaw: You have to make yourself fire proof.
The unwholesome minds are like fire. When we deal with other people – and they have their unwholesome minds – sometimes we catch fire.
If you don’t want to catch fire, you have to practice ahead to really stay within yourself and be mindful; that’s your safety zone.
Being mindful – being able to maintain a peace of mind while interacting is one part of fire-proofing yourself – the other part is to be skillful when you interact with others. It is the wisdom of how to communicate, to be sensitive to the moment and knowing how to respond; and sometimes it comes with experience.
Yogi: When the mind is not stable, can I step out of the interaction?
Sayadaw: Yes, when you’re catching fire, it is not helpful anymore except stepping out.
When we pay too much attention to the other person, that’s when we lose mindfulness. We need to stay mindful of our own responses so that as we’re interacting we’re in touch with our reactions.
Daily life practice is challenging, but very interesting.
1020. HOW TO TELL APART WHOLESOME WANTING FROM GREED
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (12:00-15:03)
Yogi: How do I tell if my wanting for transformation is wholesome or greed?
Sayadaw: Not every desire is greed. You have to check if the wanting is motivated by wisdom or greed.
If the desire is wholesome, the mind feels confident, purposeful, clear about what to do and works towards its goal.
Once greed is involved, and greed has its characteristics, there are impatience, tiredness and boredom with the practice – all these signs will show that greed is there. There is also dissatisfaction or tension when greed cannot immediately get its goal.
1021. INSIGHT ALWAYS RELIEVES THE MIND
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (22:22-25:10)
Yogi: A small change in perspective helps to relieve the stress.
Sayadaw: Insight always relieves the mind.
That insight was able to come because there was some awareness continuing in the midst of the aversion and everything else.
No awareness ever goes to waste even if it feels like the awareness is half-hearted.
Even if you feel like you’re not putting in enough effort and you’re not trying properly, even if you’re struggling with the awareness, it is okay.
We always have these judgments about our less than perfect awareness, but so long as there is some awareness, it will bear fruit.
1022. FEELING TIRED
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (00:05-02:34)
Yogi: How does one work with feeling tired? There are different qualities of tiredness in the body and in the mind; and sometimes, I just accept it as part of being old.
Sayadaw: As we get older, it is natural to be more tired. If we do have aversion towards it, we need to work with the aversion.
We let the tiredness be because we won’t be able to meditate the tiredness away. When there’s a body, there will be tiredness.
But we can practice in a way that the mind is more accepting so that the mind is not averse or resisting it. This gives the mind more rest.
1023. MIND-BODY INTERACTION
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (52:35:58:36)
Yogi: There was unpleasant sensation in the shoulder that came very strongly from a past retreat. It was not pain but an overwhelming sensation. I could see the aversion of not wanting and the wanting to know what it was.
It helped when I opened up the awareness to the whole body and expanded the awareness to more objects during walking – is that the right way to practice?
Sayadaw: Don’t look at the sensation directly because the mind already knows that it’s there.
The main attention should be on the reaction of your mind which is the aversion.
If you keep your attention on the aversion, you’ll see how when the aversion changes, it changes your perception of the sensations; and that’s the connection you want to see.
Because of the aversion, the mind has the experience of the unpleasant sensation. It is only when you watch the aversion, and sometimes when it goes away, you’ll see how the mind sees the sensation there as what it is.
But don’t think of meditating to make the unpleasant sensation go away; the body is just a set of conditions.
This object can give rise to the understanding of the nature of body and mind interaction.
1024. THE MIND GETS RESTLESS WHEN AWARENESS IS ABSENT
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (18:00-20:55)
Yogi: I lose awareness at interviews – the mind and body become restless and I sweat and get tense.
Sayadaw: What do you do then?
Yogi: I try to be aware.
Sayadaw: Be aware at the interview. Try knowing that you’re listening, understanding and feeling, lightly.
When we lose awareness, all the things that you describe can happen; and it’s good that you know that.
This is information that the mind can learn – when awareness is absent, the mind gets restless. This is nature – the process of the mind.
We can understand these processes in our own experience that when there is mindfulness the mind gets a certain way and when there is no mindfulness the gets another way.
I learned that when I was mindful it made the mind feel better; and when I was not mindful, the mind suffered.
1025. PRACTICE WATCHING PHYSICAL AND MENTAL DISCOMFORT
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 5 (37:15-51:43)
Yogi: When I watch aversion, at what point should I go and do something about it and not just look at the aversion?
Sayadaw: When you have a physical illness or physical discomfort that can be relieved, I’m all for relieving it. The reason is so that the aversion doesn’t keep building in the mind -having aversion build in the mind is not helpful because then you cannot be mindful.
Having done everything we can, sometimes we’re left with residual physical discomfort or mental dis-ease that cannot be relieved. That’s the point when you have to be mindful of it and learn the nature of mind and matter so that the mind is not so affected by the physical discomfort. That’s what we want to learn.
What we can relieve, we relieve and what we cannot, we need to practice watching till we can relieve it.
We start with things we know we can get relief from so that it doesn’t give the mind a lot of pressure. If we sit and there is some pain, we can choose to stand up for the pain to go away, or we can take a little time to investigate what it is like if we watch the aversion in the mind while there is pain in the leg.
If we become skillful at watching aversion so that aversion is not there – if we know how to adjust our mind towards the aversion – we can learn to become almost neutral at watching physical and mental discomfort.
We need to practice now because when we’re on our deathbed, we will probably have pain and then it is too late to start practicing.
We need to have learnt something now so that we can be at peace with whatever is happening as it is.
1026. BE AWARE OF CONFUSION, NOT LOOK FOR CLARITY
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (1:07:57-1:09:45)
Yogi: How do I deal with confusion because I cannot realize confusion when I’m confused or when I’m not knowing? It is really tricky.
Sayadaw: Just suffer it. (Joking)
Confusion is not not-knowing. Not-knowing just means you don’t know; that is not confusion.
Confusion means that you’re unclear about what you think you should be knowing. Confusion is being unclear; it’s not that you don’t know.
When we’re confused, we usually know we’re confused, like what is it or what am I supposed to think or what am I supposed to do?
1027. COMPASSION ALONE HAS NO SENSE OF SUFFERING IN IT
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 8 (37:42-41:22)
Yogi: When I’m aware of grief and anxiety, I’m detached from them. I fear that it’ll also happen to the compassion I have for the people close to me.
When I’m detached from those who’re sick, the compassion has a different flavor than the usual. Perhaps I don’t know what compassion is.
Sayadaw: It’s a different level of compassion. What we’re used to experiencing as compassion is mixed with suffering. That suffering bit is actually aversion because we don’t want things to be that way – we would like things to be fine.
There is the wishing well for others, but also there is the non-acceptance of the situation or grief. So, it is mixed.
When there is pure compassion, compassion is a wholesome mind, then it will feel good.
The mind understands that there is suffering going on, but it is not suffering together with it.
Yogi: The confusion is because the ‘I’ is not much there anymore, I was afraid I would lose compassion for myself and others. I don’t have to be afraid of that.
Sayadaw: When there is more ‘I’, there is more unwholesome and the mind experiences more of the grief. Compassion alone has no sense of suffering in it.
1028. KAMMA AND PERSONAL CHOICE
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (03:00-6:18)
Yogi: When the experience of every moment is the result of the past, do we even have a choice?
Sayadaw: There are 2 kinds of result – the results of the actions of the past, so you can’t change it, and there are the results yet to come that are determined partly by what has passed and partly by the present moment which you have a choice with.
For example, now you’re tired which is a result of something in the past and you can’t change the tiredness but in the present moment, you can choose how you want to deal with the mind.
The mind can have the right thought and right view and it will feel better even when the body is tired.
Or, the mind can have wrong view and complain, so the body is tired and the mind is also stressed.
In the present moment, that is the choice the mind has. If the mind is trained, it has more choices to be positive.
In the moment, we can have wisdom that gives us better decisions and better choices or we can be deluded, and delusion doesn’t give us the best choices.
With every experience, we have a choice to respond with a wholesome response or unwholesome response.
Yogi: Is it actually a choice or a feeling of having a choice?
Sayadaw: There is no freedom to choose if there is no wisdom; it will only seem like you have a choice.
1029. AWARENESS DOES NOT IMMEDIATELY BRING IN RIGHT DECISIONS
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (46:30-49:30)
Yogi: It is not so easy for big daily-life decisions to be guided by awareness-wisdom and be right.
Sayadaw: Relook at our idea that if we have some sort of wisdom that it is going to be okay right away. It is not, more so in life.
We’re used to living life the way we do – if we have mindfulness, it is not going to bring in the wisdom that will help solve our problem today.
Today, you have this problem and you don’t know what decision to make, so you’re mindful and make this decision and this is the result. It could be a good or not so good result and there is some learning – it is going to be a process of learning at home from the decisions you make and the results you get over and over again, changing decisions, changing conditions and changing the way you think about things – all of them – until the mind gets to a point where it understands what thoughts and decisions hurt the mind and then it makes the choices that bring better and better results.
Yogi: The better choices and results are for whom?
Sayadaw: If it is truly right for this mind, if it is truly wholesome and wise, it has a wholesome effect on those around us.
1030. WE FEEL THE WAY WE THINK
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (1:05:33-1:07:41)
Yogi: In the first sit this morning, the stomach made a loud rumbling sound and I felt embarrassed. I saw that it was the expectation for a good, quiet sit that made me ashamed of the sound. When I realized that I could let it be – it was just the stomach doing its work – the shame vanished.
Sayadaw: These principles relate to many things in our life, but we don’t immediately see the principles when we experience something.
But if we understand the principles deeply about something like this, then the deeper the understanding, the more easily we see it in other scenarios.
1031. WHEN WE’RE MINDFUL, WE LEARN NOT TO OVEREXERT
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 9 (1:07-6:37)
Yogi: When I’m into the practice, I get terribly charged and it is so intense that I could go on without noticing if I’m hungry or I need sleep or I have to go to the toilet.
Sayadaw: This is the pattern of the mind that will just ramp up the energy without you trying.
It’s a matter of finding out how much of that energy you need to do the things you need to do.
When I was busy running my business, I was more interested in maintaining the mindfulness. Although I was doing things quickly, I would be watching the mind.
I used enough energy without overexerting. Wisdom will learn what is enough energy – and what is too much and what is too little – through mindfulness so that it can find the balance.
Yogi: I must be present to know how much effort I’m putting in. That’s where the interest came from, and it just wants to know how much do I press when I write.
Sayadaw: That’s right; you must do that much.
1032. OVERCOMING LOW ENERGY
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 8 (1:15:35-1:18:42)
Yogi: There was awareness but also a lack of energy. I asked myself if there was something I could investigate.
I noticed that the mind was paying attention to the things I heard and decided to stay closer to just hearing sound – as a result, the mind was invigorated.
Sayadaw: When we’re low in energy, we need to investigate a little bit – this is how to wake up the interest.
1033. WHEN AWARENESS IS CONSISTENT
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (1:01:00-1:01:29)
Yogi: I’m getting more familiar with the defilements – I see the greed and aversion everywhere.
Sayadaw: That means that your awareness is everywhere.
1034. DEALING WITH DEPRESSION
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (08:45-12:45)
Sayadaw: You’re not like an ordinary yogi. You’re in the fight – you have got to really work and practice continuously.
For you, the attack is imminent and you have to be mindful continuously.
Yogi: You say to watch the tiny depression, and if I don’t manage to do that, to watch the feeling of fear. Aren’t they the same, in a way?
Sayadaw: They are different – one is the depression that wants to come to you and the other is the reaction, the fear that it will increase. They are slightly different in nature, but in your experience they might be stuck together.
Watch whichever is more obvious. The little depression that wants to come, it is not really a problem if there is no fear. It is the fear that feeds it.
For you, try to be mindful moment to moment; not thinking about or analyzing the experience. Stay with the present moment and not dwelling in the past or future.
And, if you stay in the present moment like that continuously, thoughts will stop coming in so much.
The source of your problem is too much thinking. The thoughts are very complicated and not very helpful or useful. To stop the obsessive thoughts, acknowledge them and come back to your object.
It doesn’t matter that they don’t stop – they do their job, and you acknowledge and come back to your object. You do this repeatedly.
It is important for you to understand that there is no need to believe those thoughts at all especially when the mind is in an unwholesome state, every thought is a wrong thought and shouldn’t be believed. That is why the mind feels so bad.
1035. CONDITIONS FOR INSIGHTS TO ARISE
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (13:12-17:09)
Yogi: How important is it to remember the insights intellectually – it could be very clear this moment, but come tomorrow, I don’t remember them exactly. Does the mind remember, or do I have to remember them?
Do I have to remember the insight by writing it down, or is the mind saving it somewhere?
Sayadaw: You don’t have to recall the insights – the mind does store it somewhere.
There are different levels of insight. Some insights are not very strong – it works now but does not in a different place, and you understand some insights for a while and they fade. More powerful insights last longer.
So long as you keep being mindful, when the conditions are right, we’ll keep having insights.
The idea is to always have the conditions for insights to keep arising. One insight is not enough to entrench that insight in our mind – so, we have to keep refreshing insights, not by thinking about them, but by continuously being mindful so that insights are allowed to arise.
The insights, in and of themselves, are not so important or helpful to us because we can’t make them come. What we can do is be mindful.
We want to learn the skill of how to be mindful because it is mindfulness that makes the insights arise.
1036. AN ENCOUNTER WITH LOSING THE SENSE OF SELF
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 8 (27:15-29:56)
Yogi: When I woke up, there was no feeling of ‘me’. I was confused and frightened. The fear exploded and the ‘I’ came back. The fear subsided and I concentrated on my breath.
Sayadaw: Actually, there’s no ‘I’, but when you woke up, the thing that keeps the ‘I’ alive in your mind is the thought of ‘me’.
When you just woke up, the thought of ‘me’ couldn’t form; and that’s what you experienced.
We have relied on ‘me’ our whole life; and when ‘I’ disappears, what do I rely on?
It’s a very strange and new experience.
Yogi: Can I do anything about it?
Sayadaw: It’s just the thought of ‘me’ that is gone. When you think, the thought of ‘me’ comes back. Don’t worry.
It is not so easy to lose the sense of self.
1037. A RIGHT IDEA MOTIVATES THE AWARENESS
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 8 (1:14:53-1:15:35)
Yogi: Yesterday I reported that sometimes the mind didn’t want to be aware and Sayadaw said that it was the delusion that didn’t want to be aware, that it was a tug-of-war between delusion and wisdom.
Just this sentence made my motivation to be aware stronger. I felt more responsible for my awareness.
Sayadaw: Okay.
1038. WATCH THE LIKING MIND WHEN ATTACHED TO THE OBJECT
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (1:20:00-1:26:40)
Yogi: I think I go into strong concentration when I sit. There’s a strong vibration in my mind and all I want to watch is this vibration. I was with it for close to 2 hours in one sit.
Sayadaw: Vibration is physical; why do you think vibration is mind?
Yogi: I say vibration because I don’t know another word, and it is something I cannot locate in my body.
Sayadaw: You don’t know for sure that is the mind – so don’t think vibration is the mind. You can say: this is an object. Don’t go closer to the object, don’t go into it and don’t inspect it.
Stay with the awareness; don’t go nearer to the vibration. Stay knowing, that awareness is still present.
When you stay with the awareness, it will pick up other objects.
Sayadaw: Are you attached to this object?
Yogi: Yes, I like it.
Sayadaw: You need to watch the liking mind; don’t look at the vibration. You need to look at the liking mind until it is not there.
If you watch the vibration with the liking mind, you’ll like it more and more and it will just grow.
Once you get attached, you get too much into the object, you’ll start going into the object, and then all sorts of complicated things can happen on retreat.
1039. WE ARE NOT TRYING TO GET IT RIGHT WITH AWARENESS
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (23:20-24:15)
Yogi: When the mind is clear, I’m not sure if I’m attached or detached from it.
Sayadaw: We don’t have to concern ourselves with whether there will be greed or not.
If it happens, it happens – that’s okay. You learn from it – you might not know then, but you’ll find out later.
There’s no need to find out in the present moment. You just need to know what you know now – that’s enough. There’s no need to get it right.
1040. WE JUST NEED TO BE AWARE; WE DON’T HAVE TO CURB ANYTHING
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 11 (0:33-2:15)
Yogi: First thing in the morning, I was already excited. I was running around taking a lot of photos and I lost mindfulness. Sometimes, I recognize that it’s greed.
Sayadaw: If you notice what is happening, that is good enough. You only need to know what is happening. You don’t have to stop it.
Yogi: I often get too excited.
Sayadaw: There is no need to not be excited; you just need to know that you’re excited.
1041. MEDITATION IS TO SEE WHAT IS ARISING NOW, NOT LOOK FOR SOMETHING
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 8 (1:04:20:10-1:11:25)
Yogi: When there was aversion to the pain in the moment, I realized that it was greed for something else. I was a little sad that the moment couldn’t be okay.
I felt choked up treating the moment how it was, and then, I was grateful for how it was – it wasn’t perfect, but it was what I had. But, I’m still struggling with the experience.
Sayadaw: Forget about the greed; just be aware of the present moment as it is. Stay with the awareness because if we’re aware, we’ll recognize greed when it arises. We need to grow the awareness so that it can be ever ready.
It is like when we run a shop, we don’t chase after our favorite customer so that when others come to buy, we are not around. We should sell to whoever comes to the shop; just keep the shop open and stay there.
It’s like your mind has a target – it thinks ‘I didn’t see it and I should see it’ and it starts to look for it.
Meditation is not trying to look for something. Meditation is waiting to see what is arising now.
1042. BEING AWARE MEANS TO KEEP LEARNING NO MATTER HOW INSIGNIFICANT
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 11 (02:30-09:15)
Yogi: I’m struggling with what to do with the open schedule and I start to drink lots of tea. And, I have to run to the bathroom often.
I’m also struggling with my expectations and frustrations – not appreciating what is happening. I’m stuck with hanging around and wanting.
Sayadaw: How much and how well we’re doing, the results are already there. We don’t have to think so much about where we are. We just have to think about what to do, which is to be mindful with right view.
Don’t think about what you’re getting; just think about what to do.
The 5 days you have been here, you have 5 days worth of mindfulness.
Growing in the practice means that you have been more mindful, you have put in that much effort and you have developed some wisdom. It’s a bit more than what you usually have, and that’s it.
Your decision about what to do when there was no schedule was to have tea mindfully and the result was that you need to go to the toilet frequently. You go to the toilet mindfully.
So long as you do that, it’s fine.
When you pee, were you mindful from start to finish?
Yogi: Well, I don’t know.
Sayadaw: It doesn’t matter how insignificant the activity we see. When we put in the effort to be aware of the activity, from beginning to end, it becomes a meditation. It becomes almost a holy activity when we bring our attention to it and stay with it.
For example, you could have an insight while taking a shower.
1043. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MEDITATION
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (1:09:32-1:11:20)
Imagine someone you meet every day. When you’re in a good mood and you see this person, how do you feel about the person? And, when you’re in a horrible mood and you see the person, how do you feel about the person?
Our mood affects the way we view something, event or person. It is the same with this – when the mind has aversion, it is in the wrong mood, it can’t think of anything positive or helpful.
This is the most important thing in meditation – with what sort of mind am I meditating, what is the mood of the mind that is watching?
Sometimes, we can’t help but be aware with aversion, greed and some delusion. But because we’ve been aware when the defilement is present and when the defilement is absent, we learn how to become more aware with wisdom – because we see that it is not helpful when the defilements are around.
None of us start off by being aware with wisdom. That doesn’t happen.
1044. NOTICE THE PATTERN OF HOW INSIGHT ARISES
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (19:02-20:35)
I remember how the little insights arose when I was practicing with my teacher in my teens.
I would be sitting for an hour – I understood nothing except that I had to be mindful every second. I was very diligent and the sitting would end after an hour when somebody knocked the bell.
I would stop being mindful and got up – and then some insight would arise. I’d like ask: why the insight arose then? It happened several times and I finally understood that, first there was diligence and then the mind relaxed. And when I relaxed, the mind came into balance, but because of the diligence and momentum of mindfulness, the insight could arise when the balance came.
It may not happen this way for everybody, but we have to watch out for how insights arise for ourselves. How was the mind working before the insight arose?
I was very clear that when the insight arose, there was no desire for it to arise.
1045. BODY-MIND INTERACTION
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (33:00-36:06)
Yogi: In the first meditation this morning, I felt tense and uncomfortable. I told myself ‘okay, you’re here and it doesn’t matter how you feel; just relax’. I noticed that the mind was grouchy and beneath that, I saw sadness.
The very moment that I saw sadness, the body just relaxed and turned comfortable. I asked myself how the body could react that fast to something I realized.
Sayadaw: Wisdom came into that awareness – there was a single moment of awareness and wisdom decided to come in.
First, there was some delusion, the mind didn’t see what was happening; and when it was uncovered, that was wisdom. Wisdom sees clearly and once it is seen for what it is, it is a relief.
When something changes in the mind, the body changes – it feels relaxed because the mind and body are connected on many levels.
1046. THE MAGIC OF AWARENESS-WISDOM
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (36:36-41:50)
Yogi: In the first meditation this morning, I felt tense and uncomfortable. I noticed that the mind was grouchy and beneath that, I saw sadness.
The very moment that I saw sadness, the body just relaxed and turned comfortable. I asked myself how the body could react that fast to something I realized.
Sayadaw: Really, when awareness and insight happen, it is like magic. One moment of awareness and that wisdom comes, it clears the defilement.
When the awareness becomes very full and powerful, then when the wisdom arises, the wisdom is also very powerful and complete, and it sees very clearly.
This sort of magic is very useful in life, but we have to train the mind to be aware a lot.
When we train the mind a lot and something happens, we know it immediately and the moment we know it, it is resolved. The sooner the mind sees it, the more quickly the defilement gets resolved.
This is some advertising. (Joking)
We have to have years of practice. When you practice that hard, it becomes easy; but if you practice easy, it stays hard.
You saw what happened this morning. It was a small defilement and you have had years of practicing and also the amount of practice at this retreat, it was easy – one moment and it was gone. That much practice can deal with that much defilement.
This practice has to be that much bigger to deal with much bigger defilements.
If you had not been mindful and you had not noticed that little sadness, it might have bothered you the whole day, right?
1047. REPEATED AWARENESS BRINGS IN WISDOM
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (26:25-31:18)
Yogi: Big stories arose and in the beginning I was totally involved with it. And when it kept coming, I realized that it was the same topic, the craving for recognition and praise. It was hurting and then came aversion towards these thoughts and stories.
When I’m aware of what is going on, when I realize that the stories are useless, I’m no more involved in them and also I have more choices. And when the story comes again, it doesn’t have the same power any more.
Sayadaw: Just be aware continuously, again and again – it doesn’t go to waste because it teaches us something.
Like when you’re watching and you see the thoughts come continuously, at first the thoughts come again and again, and when the mind gathers enough data, you realize although they are different stories, they have the same theme. And then it has this effect on the mind – the mind starts to learn. Then, you start to see that it causes suffering this way; one time you see it very clearly and then the mind has enough power and information to decide “okay, this thought I don’t need to keep thinking it because it is going to do the same thing” and then it stops.
At first, it’s just awareness and there is not enough wisdom. But when the awareness gathers enough information, wisdom comes in.
1048. THE BENEFIT OF BEING AWARE
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (34:00-36:55)
Yogi: I realized that if I said what I was thinking, it could really hurt somebody badly.
Now, it really motivates me to notice what I’m thinking – then, I won’t talk without realizing what I’m saying.
It’s very important for me not to hurt anybody.
Sayadaw: When there is no mindfulness, it feels like there is danger for the mind.
When there is enough awareness, we know when something happens in the mind and we know whether what happens in the mind is right or wrong, wholesome or unwholesome – then, we have a choice what to do with that thought.
If we don’t know, then we don’t have a choice because so often we can say what we think faster than we realize what we’re saying.
Now with awareness, you see it arise in the mind.
1049. RELAX AND BE MINDFUL
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (51:06-52:26)
As a meditation teacher, it doesn’t help that I have to say ‘be mindful all the time’, or ‘keep the mindfulness continuous’.
If I don’t say that, the yogis may not practice. But, it is only to try.
Yogis only need to relax and be mindful – when you lose mindfulness and you remember, then it comes back. Realize that, because you’re practicing, it comes back and you can continue to be mindful again – when you lose it, it comes back.
Once, a yogi was getting tense from trying to make the mindfulness continuous. It was only when the yogi had the thought that the mindfulness couldn't be continuous in the beginning and he had to start from somewhere that it was such a relief to him and he could then relax.
It’s not the continuity that comes with ‘me trying to be continuous’. Just relax and be mindful – don’t have the thought that you have to make it continuous.
1050. STRENGTHENING THE AWARENESS MIND
Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (52:00-52:52)
It is not the continuity that comes with ‘me trying to be continuous’. Just relax and be mindful.
The nature of the mind is that if you allow something to happen more in the mind, that quality will get stronger. So, we just allow it to happen more frequently and see what that brings.