THE Excerpts: 1551—1600

Collected from the talks and discussions of Sayadaw U Tejaniya. Compiled by Chiu Sheng Bin.

Yogi: How to apply the right information or right idea in our meditation practice?

Sayadaw: How do you practice it?

Yogi: When I observe wrong attitude or whatever mind is happening, I see it as their nature, not personal. At first, I use the right information in my observation; later on, I understand their nature and it becomes automatic.

Sayadaw: You are already doing it. For example, you need to see the difference between a person trying to make herself less jealous versus having the right attitude to watching the jealousy.

Do you see the difference?

The right attitude is what you say to yourself so the mind can watch more willingly.

It is not using thinking to reduce jealousy. You use thinking to have the right attitude to watch. It’s two different things. You’re not trying to make it go away; you’re not supposed to change the object but to change the mind to make it willing to watch.

Yogi: I notice that when I have more awareness, there are more defilements, and I feel lousy about it.

Sayadaw: This perspective is important – the perspective that because you’re more aware you can see more.

When you can see more defilements, it means that you’re more aware. It is good that there is more awareness. That we know more is good.

The defilements are always there whether we know them or not.

When we say meditation is improving, it means that awareness is increasing.

Yogi: I noticed that my mind was always thinking, and I asked myself what would happen if the mind didn’t think. If it doesn’t think, what happens to the mind?

Two days ago, I had an experience where all my thoughts crumbled and there was bliss, and it felt perfect. Does this answer my question?

Sayadaw: Rather than making a conclusion about your question from your one experience, acknowledge the experience that this is what happens and there is awareness, and we carry on practicing.

Think of this as a milestone in understanding, but that is not all the understanding from being aware and we need to continue to practice – our work is not done.

Yogi: I would regularly fall into drowsiness whenever I sit and meditate. I would jerk and wake up.

Sayadaw: If you cannot manage the mind, get up and walk. Don’t develop the habit of staying in a drowsy state of mind whenever you sit.

The worst thing is to develop a habit because our mind is full of habitual patterns – developing habits is the most efficient thing for the mind.

If you sit and recognize that you’re getting drowsy, you need to knock yourself out of it otherwise you’re going to stay in the loop of a habitual pattern.

I would even advise that you put something on your head so that the mind will be energized by trying to keep it from dropping.

Yogi: How do I use my energy wisely so that I won’t be tired at the end of the day?

Sayadaw: When we put in too much energy, it is really the energy of greed, aversion, or delusion as when we’re eager, upset, or confused. The unwholesome minds always use too much energy; it will make us tired.

The energy of wholesome minds is relaxed. If the mind is in kusala state throughout the day, then we feel relaxed at the end of the day.

Yogi: Is there a right practice for a mum who is constantly worried and fearful for her children?

Sayadaw: It is what you’re already doing right now; being aware consistently, not dwelling in the experience.

The more you’re aware, the more aware you’ll become of all your experiences and emotions, whether good or bad and all the effects that come with them. You’ll learn more about them – and when you have learned, you’ll be less affected by them.

When we understand, the mind will be steady.

Yogi: I was watching the dislike and after some time, the disliking felt like me and it was very unpleasant.

Sayadaw: It didn’t at first, right? It develops into that because that is what happens when you stay with the object.

Without your recognizing it, your awareness has become contaminated; so, it is starting to get identified with the disliking. You don’t recognize all this because you’re not with the awareness.

Yogi: Is it normal to have on-off and on-off awareness? For example, if I’m doing a mathematics problem, sometimes, I’m aware that I’m doing the problem, but sometimes, awareness is lost when I focus on solving the question.

So, it is normal for this to keep on happening, right?

Sayadaw: Yes, it is like that. When the awareness is more natural, you can recognize whatever is happening more.

Yogi: How do I contemplate that happening is dukkha?

Sayadaw: You don’t contemplate that happenings are dukkha. My teacher used to say that you don’t put the characteristic on the object; you let it show itself to you.

As a practice, you notice what is happening, are aware in a positive way, and continue to be aware. You grow the practice of your awareness because when the awareness is doing its work correctly, it will lead you to some realization, whatever it is.

[dukkha : 

(a) unsatisfactoriness, pain, suffering

(b) the suffering in change

(c) the unsatisfactory nature of all existence, of all conditioned phenomena

(d) one of the three universal characteristics of existence (see anicca and anatta), understanding dukkha is a liberating insight (panna)]

 We do not contemplate anicca. We have it as information; that’s all.

Yogis often try to contemplate anicca this way. When they see things arise and pass away, when they see happenings in the mind and they stop happening, they think that they have to follow up their experience with a contemplation – “this is anicca and that is anicca.”

They theoretically explain it to themselves – oh, this has disappeared and that has disappeared.

It can be very mechanical, and the yogi does not actually understand anicca or impermanence, but rather add it to their soup because they think it is what they should do.

Yogi: How do I practice walking meditation properly?

Sayadaw: First, you walk and then pay attention to your legs. Obviously, you can know the touching sensation, right? Continue to know the touching – touching, touching, touching. Pay attention to the touching.

Yogi: When I walk, outside things distract my mind.

Sayadaw: If you’re distracted, keep bringing your attention to your legs.

Meditation is mind work, not the work of the eyes. So, whether you have your eyes opened or closed, you can pay attention to your legs.

You should learn to be aware with your eyes opened or closed. They are the same.

Most meditators close their eyes when they meditate so that they can focus on the body. They haven’t learned to practice with their eyes open.

Yogi: Half of my body is in pain due to an illness. I watch the aversion mind, but it does not decrease. It is still there. Is my practice right or not?

Sayadaw: You try to think that the resistance, the suffering feeling, is nature. You try to think this way repeatedly. Resisting suffering is already a habit, so the suffering feeling cannot immediately decrease.

You can also watch the suffering feeling and your breath back and forth – don’t watch the pain.

You cannot be aware of the unpleasant feeling with equanimity yet because it is a new experience for you; that is why you also use the breath. The breath is neutral and when the mind calms down, watch the feeling again.

We learn to be aware neutrally because every time a pleasant feeling arises, the mind is happy, liking, and enjoying. You cannot immediately become neutral to be aware of the present object because it has become a habit.

If the mind likes the object, ignore the object; be aware of the liking feeling first. If the unpleasant object comes, the mind dislikes it, you should be aware of the disliking feeling and not the unpleasant object.

When liking and disliking decrease, come back to the object again.

When there is liking, you think the object is good and you cannot understand as it is. When the liking disappears, your view of the object will change. We want to understand nature as it is.

You should not be aware of the object with liking or disliking.

Liking or disliking arises because of wrong view, wrong thought; because of moha. When wisdom is present, the awareness becomes neutral.

[moha : delusion, ignorance, not understanding, not seeing reality (synonym for avijja)]

Sayadaw: Do you practice when you’re taking a shower?

Yogi: It’s too cold to practice – I quickly go in and get out of the shower.

Sayadaw: Be aware of the cold sensation and the tense feeling. Whatever happens, just know that it is happening.

Yogi: We’re very busy with our work and daily life – how can we maintain our interest in the practice?

Sayadaw: That is why you came to the centre. You’re not skillful to practice yet – if you’re skillful, you can apply it in your daily life.

The meditation centre is like a camp for you to come and train your practice. When you have learned to be skillful, you can apply it in your life.

You should train how to be aware the whole day when you’re sitting, walking, cleaning and eating. When it becomes a habit, you can apply it in your daily life.

You shouldn’t control your actions too much by moving too slowly or too fast. Just do things naturally like you’ll do at home.

Yogi: What if we sit and meditate but our minds do not become clear and bright?

Sayadaw: We go with the right attitude – we appreciate that we make the effort and have the moments of awareness, and we move from there. The foundation of the practice is appreciating and having the right attitude that we’re making the effort and keep going.

View our daily life challenges as interesting because they give us something to work with.

Yogi: When I sit, the mind gets calm and still easily – I would watch hearing and sensations, but the mind is disinterested and would fall asleep.

How do I keep being aware in this calm state?

Sayadaw: You don’t notice when the awareness is not really working, and the mind goes into thinking. You need to look at your working mind which is the awareness and then check what is lacking.

You’re not supposed to watch quietness; you’re supposed to watch if the mind is being aware.

You’re supposed to keep the mind awake by being aware.

Our awareness is not one continuous activity; it has to be applied over and over again. You cannot say that you’re aware now and expect it to stay with you. You’re aware one moment and then it’s gone; so, you have to keep checking if you’re still aware.

You have to be actively checking and working.

Sayadaw: I don’t want to know if the meditation result is good or not; I want to know if the yogi can practice consistently.

If you try to practice, that is already okay; I don’t want to know if the result is good.

Yogi: I sat the whole morning until now with a bit of walking meditation in between sits.

Sayadaw: Sitting and meditating for too long is not good.

Yogi: I would sit for an hour and then walk for 30 minutes.

Sayadaw: That’s okay. Do you practice when you’re eating?

Yogi: No.

Yogi: I have a problem with pain in the first few days of the retreat. I would say “Go away, my friend, go away and let me practice", but my mind still gets agitated.

Sayadaw: The angry mind doesn’t want to see the pain. This is the nature of anger or dosa; it wants to destroy the object.

When you tell your friend to go away, it is dosa. How do you then practice?

Every time pain arises, you try to welcome and accept it by telling yourself that pain is Dhamma. Then, watch your feelings. When there is an aversion, you watch and continue to watch the aversion first.

Because the mind thought the pain was not good, that is why the mind resisted it. Why does the aversion decrease when you watch it continuously? Now, we change the attitude and watch the feeling and not the pain; and also, the mind tries to be aware continuously.

Trying to be aware consistently, moment to moment, means right effort. You use right effort to be aware; that is why the mind cannot think about the pain, and as a result, unpleasant feeling decreases.

Yogi: How do I recognize what is right attitude and what is wrong attitude?

Sayadaw: How do we think about this body and mind? If you think what is happening in this body and mind is "me", it is wrong.

Whatever is happening is nature; this is the right idea. This is the intellectual knowledge to apply in your practice although you don’t understand it very well yet.

Because if you’re not thinking this way but think that everything is "I, I, I" or "me, me, me", you cannot understand and practice at all.

For example, when the pain comes and you don’t have the right idea that the pain is nature and is a meditation object, the mind will think that the pain is "me" or "I’m in pain". As a result, you cannot meditate.

Yogi: When I have more awareness, more defilements arise in my space. I feel lousy and a lot of unwholesome thoughts run in my mind.

Sayadaw: Notice that when we acknowledge the object too much, we name the object again and again, then, we start to get depressed or elated. (We’re actually feeling the object rather than watching it.)

When someone pays more attention to the presence of awareness, then, the person becomes more positive because they recognize there is awareness, and they become more skillful at being aware. So, stay on the side of the awareness.

Yogi: Is there a right practice for someone who is constantly anxious and fearful?

Sayadaw: I had a lot of depression and was in extreme fear previously, but because I went through that and was consistently aware and learned through that, later, I was not shaken by the mind anymore. I was aware of everything the mind presented to me.

Having understood fundamentally what makes the mind suffer and what relieves the mind from suffering, the mind no longer allows itself to do the things that makes it suffer, e.g., think negatively.

My mind will just reject the thought. When a single thought creates a slight disturbance, immediately the mind no longer believes the thought, follows it, or thinks about it.

If a thought makes us suffer, then it is a wrong thought.

Yogi: May I confirm my understanding of the practice?

The essence of the practice is to be aware of the watching mind by observing what the mind is doing and checking my attitude while I practice? By gathering data consistently, the mind will eventually have sufficient information for insight wisdom to arise.

Sayadaw: Yes.

Yogi: I was aware when I was sweeping the leaves. When I completed sweeping, the mind was satisfied; but then a new leaf fell, and the mind was upset as I swept it away and then another leaf fell, and I complained that it happened again.

The unpleasant experiences appear so real but are recycled experiences that I perceive repeatedly. But how I relate to them, whenever the image, fear, and worry come out, that nature is new at that moment they arise.

This is what I learn when I sweep the leaves.

Yogi: When, for example, jealousy arises, should the yogi bring in the right information that we shouldn’t compare because of our different kamma. Seeing this way, the jealousy can subside.

Should we do this or just observe the jealousy as nature.

Sayadaw: Watch it as it is because you want to understand the nature of the emotion so long as you can watch.

Using thinking to reduce jealousy and using thinking to have the right attitude to watch are two different things.

But if it is getting worse and you cannot watch, you need to get out of it and observe a neutral object.

Yogi: I’m aware of the rising and falling of the abdomen and at the same time, lots of disturbing thoughts.

Sayadaw: Thoughts are not a problem; your awareness has become better, that is why you can know both the physical and mental processes.

Yogi: The thoughts are so quick; that is why I think my practice is not strong enough.

Sayadaw: Actually, you can know because your practice is strong enough.

You already know the thoughts; don’t look at them and just pay attention to your main object, the breath, repeatedly.

You need to understand that thoughts are the mind, and you can know both nama and rupa at the same time.

Do you want to know the mind?

Yogi: Yes.

Sayadaw: Now, you already know the mind.

Yogi: When I watch the bodily pain, I see it changing and disappearing. When I watch the aversion mind, it disappears. I don’t know if it’s upekkha or moha at that time.

Sayadaw: If the resistance disappears, it means that it is upekkha.

And, you must also understand that the nama-rupa process is nature.

When you watch anger and it disappears, it means that you understand how to practice.

Wisdom is present, but you don’t know that you have wisdom. That is why you ask if it is moha or wisdom. You don’t recognize wisdom.

[moha : delusion, ignorance, not understanding, not seeing reality (synonym for avijja)]

[nama-rupa : mental and physical processes]

[upekkha : (a) neutral feelings and sensations (vedana)

                    (b) equanimity, a wholesome mental state (sankhara, cetasika)]

Yogi: When I watch the object, the object changes but the watching mind doesn’t change.

Sayadaw: Because you’re not aware of the watching mind yet – you cannot recognize the awareness.

When you can see the watching mind and the object separately, you can be aware of the watching mind.

In the beginning, the awareness and the object are mixed; not separated. When your wisdom matures, we can understand which is the object and which is the awareness mind; it can see 2 objects.

Sayadaw: The vipassana meditator needs to know what is happening with any object. We want to know what is going on.

For example, why are we breathing?

Yogi: It is natural.

Sayadaw: You’re thinking; you don’t have the experience.

It is better to answer from your experience when you’re aware of breathing in and out.

Now, you try to find out for yourself. Then, you’ll be interested; you won’t be sleepy.

Yogi: If we don’t breathe, we die.

Sayadaw: This is from thinking; I want to know from your experience.

We try to understand cause and effect; why is breathing happening?

Don’t try to think about the answer; try to practice instead. The mind will become interested and wake up.

[vipassana : insight, insight meditation]

When you practice can you see that you’re putting in the effort? You sit and practice continuously for 1 hour trying to be aware. So, how can you do that? You are already putting in the effort, but you don’t realize it.

When you can watch the mind as an object, you can see that the energy of effort is present from moment to moment – if you’re not putting in the effort, you can’t be aware; you’ll be lost in thought.

Why people don’t know what they’re doing? It is because they focus on the object and don’t realize what the mind is doing.

That is why I say not to complain about the experience, but to appreciate that the awareness is present.

Yogi: Are we supposed to be aware of a chosen object or an object that appears by itself?

Sayadaw: In the beginning, we have to intentionally use an object to be aware. This is okay, but noticing an object that comes naturally is better.

If it is a chosen object, it appears to belong to you. If it is an object that appears naturally, it doesn’t belong to us.

Yogi: When I watch the object that appears by itself, it feels more relaxing and natural.

Sayadaw: Yes, the natural object is better.

Yogi: I didn’t know what kind of object I was watching, but my mind calmed down. When my mind calmed down, what kind of object should I watch?

Sayadaw: You noticed that your mind calmed down, right? You can use the calm mind as an object.

But it is easy for the mind to enjoy it when it calms down and becomes peaceful. So, be careful of this.

If you know the calm mind and the awareness and can see these two different natures, use the awareness as the object; otherwise, it is easy for the effort to drop and for sleepiness to come in. The mind can also start to enjoy the calmness.

Check if the awareness is present or not when you don’t know what to be aware of. If you can notice the awareness, use it as the object. The object is not important; awareness is more important.

Many yogis have reported that when they realize that they are not aware, they get very upset. Because they want their awareness to be good, they get upset when they notice that they have not been aware.

How does the yogi realize they have lost the awareness? It is because awareness has come back. Should they be upset or happy?

So, don’t complain about the experience; rather, appreciate that awareness is present.

If you have lost some money and find it later, should you be upset or happy?

Sayadaw: If you understand the meaning of an object, the mind is peaceful.

If you’re looking at something, e.g., a cup, man, or woman, it is a concept object. If you want to practice seeing, it is happening in the mind, not outside. Seeing is a meditation object.

The things we see outside are concepts; they are not our meditation objects.

Just recognize that seeing is happening in the mind, and not outside.

Yogi: I can watch my mind looking.

Sayadaw: Yes, that is a meditation object because looking is the mind.

Many people think that we don't have samadhi when the mind is thinking a lot.

I have already explained that samadhi is the stability of mind; if we’re not upset with our thoughts, we already have samadhi. We cannot know the object if our mind is not stable.

We have to practice noticing the thinking mind because it happens a lot throughout the day. But we don’t always watch our thoughts, or we’ll get lost. We know our thoughts and come back to a physical object to ground the mind. Do this repeatedly.

[samadhi : calmness, stillness or stability of mind]

Some yogis think it is wandering mind when they know many thoughts or many objects during meditation.

This is actually a samatha practice idea – it is good samadhi when there is one-pointed concentration and the mind calms down.

They only have this information – so, when they notice that the mind knows many things or there is wrong thinking, they become upset and think that it is wandering mind.

The nature of the wandering mind is not like this – it is losing awareness by following the thoughts and is not aware at all. That is wandering mind.

For vipassana, it is okay when the awareness knows many objects because you’re aware and can see what is happening. Because awareness is present, you’re not lost.

[samatha : tranquility meditation, concentration meditation]

[samadhi : calmness, stillness or stability of mind]

[vipassana : insight, insight meditation]

Sayadaw: When we sit, we’re supposed to practice, but what are we trying to do?

Yogi: To get wisdom.

Sayadaw: Whatever we do, we have an idea. Some people want to calm down by controlling their thoughts. Actually, the right practice is trying to be aware, to know what is going on.

If we have the wrong idea and expect something – we want to calm down and stop the thinking – the meditation becomes tense.

We don’t want to control the experience. Allow the experience to happen and let the mind know that this and that are happening; that is enough.

If you get lost, come back to know something.

The Buddha said that wisdom is the middle way: not the lobha way and not the dosa way. If the mind can watch with equanimity when any object comes; then, you can meditate very well.

When there is no pain during our sit, the mind is okay, but when the pain arises, the mind resists. You need to practice a lot how to watch with equanimity, how to be aware of liking and disliking feeling.

When we are skillful, we call this the middle way; when the mind becomes equanimous, that is the middle way.

[lobha : greed, any kind of craving or liking]

Normal people are pitiful because they don’t know how to practice and how to stop runaway thinking. They keep on thinking even when they want to sleep.

If we don’t know the mind process, there is no chance to be peaceful.

We need to be aware of many things about ourselves in vipassana meditation.

The body and mind are always related. We try to be aware of this process repeatedly and begin to understand the cause-and-effect relationship between body and mind – that there’s nobody there. It is a natural process.

For example, when there is anger, suffering feelings arise as well as negative thinking; and the face becomes red and long.

We often believe that intention is us; e.g., I want to do this and I do.

Or, when the mind is making the effort, we say: I’m trying.

When we’re young, we always talk about trying. I should try; so, I try. We cannot immediately get rid of the idea that effort is us.

Yogi: When I sit and notice so many objects, I get lost.

Sayadaw: You can get lost if you follow many objects. It is better to use a main object while noticing other objects.

If the yogi uses anapana or rising and falling as the main object, when other objects arise, they watch and go back to the main object repeatedly.

Other yogis may not use a main object; they just check to know any obvious object in the moment. However, you need more skill to use this approach.

[anapana : inhale and exhale breath]

Yogi: Can I choose to be aware of my breath only when I sit?

Sayadaw: In the beginning, you can use the breath as the main object, but not the only object. You recognize and acknowledge other sensations when they arise and bring your attention back to the breath.

The samatha idea is concentrating only on one object; you are aware of various objects for vipassana. So, it depends on whether you’re practicing samatha or vipassana.

If you use one object only, unconsciously, the mind will become attached to this object.

In vipassana practice, we try to know what is happening and the relationship between body and mind. You train to be skillful in knowing the objects through the six sense doors – seeing, hearing, tasting, and body sensations, for example.

You’ll have a narrow view if you only use one object. If you’re aware of many objects, your view is wider and you can see how the objects are related; and wisdom can grow.

For many beginners, when they use one object all the time, they’ll focus more and more and get a headache because their mind becomes tense.

You can use a main object so that you can come back to it; you can be aware of sound, thoughts, or pain and when there is no object, you can come back to the main object.

Yogi: When I watch the pain, it increases instead of reduces.

Sayadaw: It is because you’re watching with the wrong attitude. Check your attitude again?

Yogi: I don’t know what the right attitude is when I practice.

Sayadaw: What do you think about the object? Do you think that it is good or bad, or it belongs to you?

If you think that the pain is you, the pain increases because it is the wrong view and wrong attitude.

If you think the pain is a meditation object or Dhamma object – that it is nature and doesn’t belong to you – it is the right attitude, and then, the pain will reduce, and your mind will calm down.

You don’t know your mind yet at that time, that is why you don’t know why the pain increases or decreases. If you can see your thoughts, you’ll realize something.

Yogis need to practice recognizing with what ideas, thinking, and attitude they watch the object.

Beginners get confused as to why the pain increases instead of decreases when they watch it because they only know the object; they don’t know their mind. That is why we need to check our mental state as well as the object, feelings, and thoughts.

Yogi: When the pain comes, I prepare the mind by thinking that the pain comes and goes.

Sayadaw: Don’t think; just be aware. You’re cheating yourself if you think this way because you don’t want to face the difficulty. You say no problem, but the worry is already there.

Vipassana meditation requires us to face the problem. Face the difficulty by trying to be aware with wisdom and learn how to solve the problem.

But if you don’t have the energy or ability, you should back out; try to learn something from the experience first.

Yogi: When I look at something, I know it is an object and the mind becomes very calm and quiet. Is mindfulness present?

Sayadaw: When you understand the meaning of an object, the mind is peaceful.

If you’re looking at something, the object is a concept object; a cup, woman, or man is a concept object.

If you want to practice seeing, it is happening in the mind; the things you see are concept objects, not meditation objects.

Just recognize that seeing is happening in the mind and not outside.

Yogi: I can watch my mind looking.

Sayadaw: Yes, looking is the mind. That is why your mind is calm.

If you see a wider view, you can understand the relationship between minds and between body and mind. When you watch your thoughts, some thinking produces feelings: angry thinking leads to angry feeling and happy thinking leads to happy feeling.

If you can see thinking and feeling together, then you can understand that they are related.

If your thinking is right, the mind calms down; if wrong thinking arises, the mind becomes agitated. This is the cause-effect relationship between thinking and feelings.

When the yogi realizes that the mind is agitated, they shouldn’t continue with the wrong thinking.

When the mind understands the meaning of an object, it is not attached to or resists the object at all.

You cannot understand this initially because liking and disliking the object has become a deep-rooted habit.

Every time the object comes, the mind reacts to it; it either likes or dislikes the object. Whenever a reaction arises, you watch the reaction first before going back to the object.

You can practice the whole day long – whatever you see, hear, or smell, how do you feel?

As much as you’re attached to no pain, you’ll resist pain by that much.

I call this the pendulum theory where the two ends are lobha or liking and dosa or disliking. If there is 30 degrees of liking, there will be 30 degrees of disliking; likewise, if there are 45 or 90 degrees of liking, the pendulum will swing to 45 or 90 degrees of disliking accordingly.

It is nature. Our mind is never stable – always moving to liking or disliking…until we die.

If the mind doesn’t move, it means that it is very calm and peaceful.

[lobha : greed, any kind of craving or liking]

[dosa : hatred, anger, any kind of aversion or disliking (including sadness, fear, resistance, etc.)]

Many yogis think that the mind goes away and comes back.

Actually, the nature of the mind is that it arises and passes away immediately. The mind cannot go out of the body and come back.

This is wrong view because if the mind is here and goes to our home and returns, it means that the mind is permanent.

You need to think this way – the story is about Vietnam, but the thinking mind arises and disappears immediately. When we have enough experience of this, we realize that the mind is impermanent.