Yogi: I have had 2 difficult days and realize that meditation is not being happy or calm or have good samadhi – it is to allow seeing and feeling what is when it is painful or suffering.

Sayadaw: Not to avoid or run away – just to be with it and you can get a profit from it.

Yogi: Sometimes I feel that I have to be unwholesome to get wiser.

Sayadaw: It is true that when the unwholesome comes up, sometimes they are stronger than we can restrain them. If possible, stay aware of what is happening.

So, the unwholesome does its own work and the awareness does its own work.

In the retreat, the unwholesome is contained, but out there in the world, the mind will do a lot more, but you must keep being aware of it.

In our life, the unwholesome stuff really acts up and the awareness when it works, it can also become very real.

Knowing is not wasted; it is always learning something.