HOW SAYADAW USED FEELINGS AS THE MAIN OBJECT IN LAY LIFE
Yogi: During the retreat, awareness is strong, I just check the awareness and different objects can come and go; but in daily life, I have to use a main object because the awareness is weak.
Sayadaw: Yes, do that. In lay life previously, I used feelings as the main object – I would check if the mind was relaxed or agitated. If the mind was tense, immediately I would know and keep on watching till it became relaxed. When it was relaxed, I continued to be aware of the relaxed mind and maintain it – this was my main object.
With practice, the mind immediately notices whenever it gets tense; it also immediately notices the cause. Slowly, you become skilled in maintaining the relaxed mind.
I only practiced watching feelings and maintaining the relaxed mind in lay life. Even when I was talking to someone, the first mind was checking the state of mind. The relaxed mind was my precious gem – otherwise, the mind would tense up immediately.
If I didn’t see the relaxed mind, it was already gone – and straight away the mind would be agitated because my depression then was very strong. If I couldn’t maintain a peaceful mind, the depression would explode and I wouldn’t be able to handle it immediately. The depression was so powerful – so, whenever agitation arose, I would watch it continuously and pay little attention to everything else I was doing.