Yogi: I think I’m not aware when I’m eating
TS: If you think you were not aware when you were eating, what were you paying attention to when you were eating?
Yogi: I tried to be aware of the taste, the touch of big or small pieces, also the greed. When I failed to see greed, I tried to slow down.
TS: So, why did you say that there was no awareness?
Yogi: It didn’t feel so nice.
TS: Awareness quality is not always good all the time; it also changes. We have to accept how it is right then. The quality of our awareness is always changing; sometimes we have better quality awareness and sometimes, poorer quality awareness. We can’t always get the quality we want.
We don’t even know yet why awareness becomes better or worse; so to get the quality we want is much later. First, we have to accept that this is the quality of the awareness now and just be happy that there is awareness. That’s all.
Really, the mind is so tricky; at that time, you didn’t even realize that the mind is thinking that this awareness is not good enough and so it must not be awareness. So, we hear more and get more information and slowly it sinks in; and we learn.