Yogi: I wish to confirm if I’m practicing correctly. I observed the awareness while doing walking and sitting meditation. When I became drowsy during sitting and noticed the body bending forward during the sit, I would straighten up the body.
I then tried to observe what drowsiness was, but couldn’t find out anything. I felt very pleasant when I sat straight up and I could even hear Sayadaw’s recording very clearly.
I felt that I couldn’t really see the mind despite noticing all these happenings, and am not happy with what I have achieved.
Sayadaw: Your mind has a judgment about your progress. Can you continue to keep observing that because that is the first thing you need to work with?
Be happy with yourself for recognizing that your mind is not happy and keep knowing that.
Noticing that you’re unhappy means that you’re knowing your mind. That’s your doorway to recognizing the rest of your mind. Please keep doing that.
Yogi: During my sitting, I feel drowsy but when I sit straight up I know that the defilement is there and I want to watch but I couldn’t see the flavor of the drowsiness. When I sit straight up, the pleasantness is already there. I go back to the mind to try to watch other sensations of the body. Then, I just do not know how already.
Sayadaw: You need to recognize what you’re doing. There are not enough effort and wisdom when we’re drowsy. You can see that in the state of drowsiness, you could not observe defilements – so, you already recognize that the wisdom is not very good when you’re drowsy. And then you sat up straight – that’s increasing your effort and you felt more pleasant and you’re less drowsy, right?
You have to acknowledge the things you’re doing – you can be satisfied with what you’re doing. We need to change this mindset of thinking that what we’re doing is not enough.