Yogi: Sometimes I try too hard to be a good yogi and I get so tired that sitting was nearly impossible and I get really frustrated.
Sayadaw: You can see how much the wanting to be a good yogi messes up the mind.
It’s just a thought that messes up the mind – it’s not even a fact or reality. It is not that you’re not a good yogi that upsets the mind; it’s just a thought.
The expectation is so high – what it does is that it keeps repeating the thought and it keeps giving you different ways of telling the same story. It just spins out of control because you won’t stop thinking.
Remember that this is just a story about you – know it but don’t believe it.
It is a good thing that it comes up because it is something the mind really holds about itself and you need to know it without getting lost in it enough times before the mind finally gets it.
When the medicine is good, it exposes the hidden disease so that it can be cured. It is good that it comes up because you have a chance to learn about it.
In your case, the unwholesome quality is about a belief that you have of yourself and your ability to practice.