There was no way out of depressive suffering. Suffering for me was the motivation to practice – fortunately.
I didn’t want to practice; I didn’t believe that practice could overcome depression. I had no choice but to practice because I knew that the theory said the mind could be very peaceful by practicing.
So I tried repeatedly and experienced a little relief with practice. Getting some relief was enough – that was what the mind wanted. This motivated me to continue to practice.
At one time, the mind experienced total peace, no more suffering for a flash of a moment. Wisdom at once recognized that this was the only way to liberation and saddha increased to support the practice continuously thereafter.
[Sayadaw had a taste of freedom and focused on the practice (cause); we also tasted the freedom of deep peace, but focused on getting the result. That’s the great divide.]