Yogi: Sayadaw says to watch like in a distant contact – it is somewhat cold. For me, when dealing with strong physical or emotional pain, it needs loving contact. More than just being watched, it needs to be touched.
Sayadaw: If we have right view, we become willing to observe something, but many teachers teach to have some metta for ourselves when approaching a difficult emotion to observe in a softer way.
The effect is to take the edge off the aversion to the object so that the mind is not resistant to it and the hope is for the yogi to find a way to approach the object that is not painful.
It could be viewing the object as not mine but something universal and interesting, coming from the place of interest, or for some of us, it could be coming from kindness to bring positivity into the observing.
My motivation has always been, first it was just surrender because I was depressed, then it was interest. That’s my experience; it was never to view something kindly in that way.
If we can bring up kindness and view our difficult experience with kindness, it serves the same purpose. The point is to become willing to accept and observe, it doesn’t matter whether interest or kindness brings in that willingness and acceptance.
Do what is suitable so that you can observe so long as observation happens eventually, whether it is with kindness or interest.
Whichever way we approach it, the awareness should keep working happily.