Yogi: I have been facing a recurring problem every day for the last 10 year. 2 years ago the problem stopped with some thinking. But it recurred more strongly 6 months ago and overwhelms me now.
Sayadaw: It’s the defilement arising. Now, we try to be aware of thinking and feeling as an object; but first, you learn how to be aware of mental states/emotions as an object.
You need to have the right attitude towards the defilement. Before, you tried to suppress the defilement; but it became even more powerful when it reappeared.
Now, we change the attitude – we try to understand the defilement, not suppress it or make it go away.
The practice is to view it as an object, as nature. Be aware of thinking as thinking, not the story of the thoughts but just mental activity – that thinking is the mind and feeling is the mind (practice to watch reality instead of concepts).
We try to understand the nature of the mind; and because of the understanding, the defilement can decrease.
Defilement nature is like this – if we pay attention to it the wrong way, then it increases; but if we face the defilement with right thinking, it decreases.
Everybody knows every time the defilement arises. But we can use either water or gasoline to control a fire. If we use water, it decreases, but if we use gasoline, it increases.
The biggest problem is when we take the defilement to be ‘me’, that it is ‘my mind’ and the idea that the defilement is ‘me’. This exaggerates the defilement and later on, it overwhelms the mind.
That is why we need to have right attitude (‘this is nature’) and learn to be aware. You practice to be skillful in being aware of the mind state/emotion before facing it.