Yogi: I have a problem with my old and frail parents and I need Sayadaw’s advice how to handle it when I go back.
My mum is in a nursing home and my dad is giving me a hard time. I feel for him, but I still have my issues from the past.
What is a wise way to deal with this?
Sayadaw: You have to make yourself fire proof.
The unwholesome minds are like fire. When we deal with other people – and they have their unwholesome minds – sometimes we catch fire.
If you don’t want to catch fire, you have to practice ahead to really stay within yourself and be mindful; that’s your safety zone.
Being mindful – being able to maintain a peace of mind while interacting is one part of fire-proofing yourself – the other part is to be skillful when you interact with others. It is the wisdom of how to communicate, to be sensitive to the moment and knowing how to respond; and sometimes it comes with experience.
Yogi: When the mind is not stable, can I step out of the interaction?
Sayadaw: Yes, when you’re catching fire, it is not helpful anymore except stepping out.
When we pay too much attention to the other person, that’s when we lose mindfulness. We need to stay mindful of our own responses so that as we’re interacting we’re in touch with our reactions.
Daily life practice is challenging, but very interesting.