Yogi: I broke parts of my vertebrae in an accident and was hospitalized for 3 months. During that time, I was totally mindful and happy to be alive.
When I had recovered, I tried to meditate, but because of the trauma, it was chaotic whenever I tried to watch the mind. How do I deal with the chaotic mind?
Sayadaw: The chaotic mind is just the mind; it is no different from any other mind.
We just do our yogi’s jobs and try watch it without blaming ourselves. Be happy that there is awareness; then, that’s fine.
One thing to remember – you were very mindful before that and were very happy that you were alive. We like it when we’re happy and we’re not so mindful of the happiness itself although we could be mindful of other things.
We let ourselves be happy heedlessly although we are mindful of other things. We then suffer more when chaos come because of the contrast. We suffer more because we weren’t in a state of awareness of happiness, investigating happiness and understanding its nature. When we lose it, we suffer more.
But as far as being aware, chaotic mind is the same. Everything is still an object – happy mind is an object and a chaotic mind is also an object.