Yogi: I have lost my father and still grieve over it – how do I deal with my emotions when they arise?
Sayadaw: The more you understand what your grief is about by being willing to be aware, the less the emotions will arise. The most important thing is to watch it objectively, and if it is getting overwhelming, stop watching and only face it another time when the mind is more settled.
Be patient because it’ll take time to discover more about grief.
Yogi: When I watch the grief, it’s so strong like it is eating me.
Sayadaw: Do not look at the thoughts but watch the associated feelings.
In our thoughts there are the story, our identification, emotions, and attachment – all are bundled together by our thoughts and we’ll get completely sucked in. We want to be distant from the thoughts – we don’t need to figure out the thoughts and think our way through them.
We just have to do the exercise of being aware and appreciating that we’re aware and making the effort. As we do the work, slowly things will unravel by themselves.
Our work is not to look at the thoughts, but rather being aware of the feelings, be positive and appreciating the exercise of mindfulness.
There is a reason to observe and watch. When we observe, what we’re growing are the positive qualities of the mind and the 5 spiritual faculties. When that happens, the negative minds reduce and understanding can arise. We don’t have to fight with the negative minds or wish that they decrease, we just have to observe.
So long as we have the intention to understand our grief, and as we do the exercises, the mind will unravel for you.