If there is too much tension, it means that the mind is observing with craving.
We don’t need to force to be aware. For example, now you’re aware of yourself and you know you’re sitting. How much energy do you need to know that you’re sitting?
Just this light attention is enough, but you continue doing it over a long time.
Yogi: I have the problem of getting caught up in thoughts – awareness only comes in seconds and off it goes.
Sayadaw: This is to be expected especially in our sitting meditation because at home we’re not used to being quiet and watching our sensations; we’re used to sitting and being lost in thoughts. That’s the habit the mind will keep going to.
The part that is helpful on retreat is that we keep getting awake again – just recognize that that’s a good thing.
The mind is a series of habit patterns. If we recognize that it’s a habit of the mind, then it is okay because we’re building a new habit. Every time we become awake again, we’re building a new habit and soon that will gain momentum.
We can’t force the mind to be what we want it to be – we just have to learn to build the new habit of being aware.
You need to learn how to watch your mind (what the mind thinks, knows, and feels). Every retreat, you don’t think – you just focus and calm down. The concentration is good and the mind calms down, and then you go home.
But this is not useful in daily life. You need to learn how to be aware of your mind – your thoughts and feelings. You need to understand.
That’s why in the first several days, yogis are confused what to do – they’re used to the old idea of just concentrating to gain calm. Now, I encourage you to watch your thoughts and your feelings. Then, it can become a habit and you can use the skill in daily life.
Yogi: I lead a stressful life; at the end of the day, the mind is very tired. I find that cooking or washing after work helps to calm the mind and be aware, but not sitting meditation.
Sayadaw: The way mindfulness works should be applicable to all postures. If you find washing or cooking works but not sitting, it means that the mind is not doing mindfulness in the same way when sitting.
The key is that in the washing and cooking, you’re not trying to be less agitated or feel calm – you’re just letting yourself be mindful with whatever is happening. But, when you sit, you have to face the agitated mind and you can’t just let it be – then, you want to be calm.
Yogi: The problem is that when I sit, I can be lost in thought for a long time.
Sayadaw: It then makes sense because when you do the other activities, it keeps the mind awake and the mind can remain mindful. But when we sit, it’s true that thoughts can really take over and it’s hard to stay mindful.
The skilful thing then is to choose the postures and activities that will help you to stay mindful – and you’re already doing that.
If you do want to sit, you can choose to sit with your eyes open.
Yogi: I have always believed myself to be a bad person from young and this dosa can be overwhelming.
Sayadaw: When we feel overwhelmed with unwholesome minds, we can get to believing that we have it all the time – we blame ourselves and we name ourselves bad people – but remember that no mind ever holds some quality forever.
It cannot because everything is conditioned – so, if something is triggered, only at that time will those minds arise. But if something happens frequently, that’s how we hold that view because we’re not watching carefully.
Yogi: I have strong aversion to the outbreath because it’s hard to relax completely on the outbreath. It’s only when I’m in a deep meditative state that I can relax completely.
Sayadaw: You know quite a bit about what is happening – and that’s enough to know.
You don’t have to be totally relaxed; only if the tension is increasing hour after hour or day by day, then you have to address that.
If you notice aversion on the outbreath, then you can use the aversion as an object.
Yogi: I tried, but it’s very hard to watch the tense breath.
Sayadaw: Then don’t watch the breath. If the object is constantly agitating the mind, then don’t use that object. You can use the whole body; just notice different sensations in the body.
Yogi: It’s pretty nice to sit when I get my focus.
Sayadaw: Rather than think that it’s only good when you get concentration, that a certain state or result is good, you want to recognize that the process of meditation has benefits. You can learn something from just observing.
Yogi: It’s hard not to think of the results.
Sayadaw: Just keep acknowledging that the mind is still wanting the goal, notice that. You don’t have to put it aside, but you can acknowledge that and keep recognizing that is what the mind is doing.
From just observing the aversion, the way the mind is wanting the goal, and how this process is working for you, your mind might figure out that greed is not helpful when you meditate.
Yogi: My mind can’t stay in the present during walking meditation – it goes to the past or future. How can I be more aware of the present?
Sayadaw: We cannot make the mind stay in the present moment, but when we awaken from our memories or plans, when we realize that we’re aware, that’s when we can bring our attention back to the walking.
The moment that you have awakened from your memories or planning, that’s when you just recognize that you’re aware right now. Now you’re in the present moment, and then you bring your attention to your walking – actually feel the touching sensations or the movement of the legs; feel the body or the breeze, feel it and actually be with it. See how long you can stay aware before you awaken from another thought.
Do that again and again; and be patient.
Yogi: Do some amount of analyzing and making inferences have a place in the awareness practice?
Sayadaw: There are right thought and wrong thought. Right thought is helpful to the dhamma – right thought or wise thought helps the awareness because if there is wisdom in the thoughts, awareness is already present.
It is wrong thought that we don’t feed. If the mind is discursively thinking about somebody that makes the mind angry, don’t keep paying attention to the story; look at the emotion. If you can’t look at the emotion, look at something neutral, because thinking about that wrong thought is just going to keep feeding the anger and keep making the mind suffer.
Negative thinking also doesn’t allow the mind to see clearly.
When there is wise thinking, we should think it, but we should also be careful that it doesn’t get out of control where greed just wants to continue to think.
Right thought actually helps awareness to be awake. Right thought is also like right attention, bringing the mind’s attention to what is wise and skilful – that’s right thought’s action. And, wrong thought will bring more agitation and suffering to the mind.
Don’t just keep practicing – stop and check what is it happening that is making the mind tense? How have I been practicing that is making the mind tense? If the mind is relaxed, how have I been practicing? What is the mind doing that is giving this result now? That’s right thought – it helps the awareness to see the right thing.
When motivated in the right way, this sort of investigation helps to maintain the awareness.
Yogi: If I know that I’m perceiving something, how is it beneficial?
Sayadaw: You know that the mind is doing this. If you can be aware of perception repeatedly, then you will realize that the mind is not personal – each different mind has its own function.
For example, you know that perception is happening, that it is doing its job. If you notice it many times, you can understand that perception is not personal – it’s just the mind happening. You can understand reality.
Previously, you think that perception is ‘me’; much later on, you’ll realize that perception is nature. The view can then change.
That’s why we’re aware – we learn from the experience, not for nothing. Secondly, when there is awareness of any object – any mental state or physical object - the quality of mind is also good because awareness is a wholesome mind.
Yogi: I had an unpleasant day going to the hospital having needles stuck into me. It was painful and irritating to the body. The sensations kept coming and going, but the irritation was constant. It became very clear that the irritation was the mind and not the body. It was interesting that the aversion was present even though the thing it was averse to was not present. The aversion was just demanding my attention.
Sayadaw: Yes, you can’t buy this sort of experience with money. Real life experience is so valuable. It’s only when things happen in our life that we see the real stuff.
With real situations in our lives, we see real defilements and real wisdom must work; artificial or intellectual wisdom is not good enough.
Yogi: I thought that the mind already understood ‘A sound is just a sound’ until it reacted to the loud music from the village.
Sayadaw: Your idea will change according to your level of understanding and it only means that your understanding is still not enough.
You think you already understood that a sound is just a sound, right? But, you cannot accept this sound – it means that your understanding is incomplete. You don’t react to some sound, but there is still attachment or resistance to certain sounds – and the problem arises when that happens.
If you really understand, there is no problem with any sound. Because of your past experiences, you have lots of ideas – liking and disliking – of different sounds. Now, you need to know that there is a wrong idea. If you notice what is right and what is wrong, it is also an understanding.
Because of the object, we can understand our mind – how much the mind attaches to or resists the object and how to become calm.
So, when any experience arises, we need to learn.
Yogi: When there is a strong defilement and I switch to a neutral object, it doesn’t work because the mind feels like it’s avoiding the defilement.
Sayadaw: You can see that neutral doesn’t work this time because the mind doesn’t need it. It’s easier to just watch the defilement. It’s faster to just watch what is happening; using a neutral object is only when you find the negative overwhelming.
That is already a lot of work and then it’s not finished because you still have to come back to the negative when the mind has stabilized.
It’s like you already know how to box and you’re in a competition; and instead of boxing, you keep looking at the trainer to check if you should do this or that. And, you get boxed because you’re not paying attention.
Whenever the mind is not happy or reacts, or whenever defilement is present, yogis think that it is a problem. This is actually not a problem. It is only a problem when the mind thinks that it is a problem.
If you have right thought, it is just an experience (being known). It is only a problem when the mind thinks that the experience is a problem.
Experience is always happening; sometimes we can bear the experience, sometimes we cannot. However, no experience is a problem. (An object is just an object.)
Yogi: How much room should I allow unwholesome thoughts to carry on?
Sayadaw: When we want to work with unwholesome thoughts, the important to remember is that we’re not going to intentionally feed or think the unwholesome thoughts. They may still have their momentum, but we’re going to intentionally be mindful – so, our intention is to be mindful and we come to the feelings because unwholesome thoughts always generate feelings.
Don’t look at the thoughts directly – you know that the thoughts are happening, but your intention is to keep watching the reaction in the body and the mind.
Now you’re paying attention to the feelings, the reactions in the body and the mind, and if you find that the reactions get worse as you are watching it for some time, that means that the mind is not so skilful at watching – the emotion is overwhelming the awareness – then stop watching that and start to be aware of a neutral object.
Now you need to ignore the feelings and switch to a neutral object to build the strength of the awareness; and when the awareness becomes more stable, you can challenge yourself again.
Yogi: Can Sayadaw advice how to handle thoughts during meditation?
Sayadaw: When you realize that you’re lost in thought, make it a point to recognize that you’re aware. Take a moment to recognize that there are these thoughts and there is awareness present now. Once you’ve done that, bring the awareness to the body.
If the breath is your anchor, gently return to your breath and stay aware again, always checking that the mind stays aware.
It’s okay that the mind gets lost in thought. You want to do this exercise when you become aware again. It doesn’t matter how many times you have to do it.
When you become aware again, and you acknowledge the thoughts, it’s not the story you want to recognize, but the fact that the mind is thinking.
You’re not going to continue to watch the thoughts; just a moment to acknowledge that the mind is thinking and then coming back to the breath.