Yogi: I have plenty of ‘should and should-not’ ideas, and I want to stop them.
Sayadaw: There’s no need to stop the ideas – just notice that there are these thoughts and then check your feelings. When the ideas come, how do you feel?
Don’t follow the thoughts whenever there is tension – watch the tension instead.
Yogi: I have watched pain for a month and it still doesn’t go away. What should I do?
Sayadaw: Why do you watch the pain? You want it to disappear? If that’s your attitude, it is already wrong.
Why do you watch the pain? What for?
We want to understand the nature of pain and why the mind resists the pain. What is pain? Why is there pain?
(The same goes for other habitual defilements like anger and drowsiness. We want to watch and learn about the mind, not to make it go away.)
Some yogis try to meditate without changing to right attitude first.
When an experienced yogi is aware of an object, the first thing is to check what the mind says about this experience. When there is right view, meditation is happening.
For experienced yogis, there is no need to try to meditate; just check the view and meditation is already happening.
If you pay attention to the concept, the mind is busy; but if you’re aware of the seeing, the mind is free. So, it depends on what the mind is paying attention to.
Once, I attended a crowded ceremony. Someone stood next to me and said that he was agitated from paying attention to so many things happening. I didn’t understand then what he was referring to because I was only aware of seeing, only one thing.
The mind is either calm or restless, depending on the object.
Everything is okay means that the mind is not reacting under any situation. It doesn’t mean that all your experiences are as you wish them to be.
People always pray that all good things should come their way and that they will not bump into anything bad. Is this possible?
It is not possible because experiences can either be good or bad – we call this loka dhamma, the 8 Worldly Conditions, of which 4 are good (praise, gain, fame, and happiness), and 4 are bad (loss, blame, defame and pain). Experiences cannot all be good.
We can only change our minds, not the 8 Conditions. If wisdom is strong enough, the mind can accept all conditions. This means that everything is okay.
In the beginning, all yogis pay more attention to concepts – the nostril and the rising and falling of the abdomen, for example. But slowly, they notice the touch sensation, movement, and warmth or cold (reality). When the mind thinks less about the nostril (concept), slowly the nostril (form) disappears.
Reality is what we can experience directly through our 6 senses like seeing, hearing, touching and tasting. Concepts are what the mind can only experience through thinking about direction, shape, form, color, and name – e.g. the hand, or a banana.
For example, breath is a meditation object, not the nostril. We can directly experience the temperature, hardness or softness, and the vibration of the breath.
Don’t expect that the experience, what is happening, should be one way or another because whatever happens is just an experience (the function of being something that is known).
For example, which is better? Thinking or not thinking?
It’s the same because you can know that you’re thinking and you can also know you’re not thinking. Experience is just an experience.
Whether there is sound or no sound, it is also an object. If you have the idea that meditation should be silent, then you become angry when there is any loud sound.
When you’re sitting in the Dhamma hall and meditating, what are you trying to do? You need to be clear about what you’re doing when you meditate – indeed you are trying very hard, to do what?
We’re trying to know what is happening; we’re not trying to make anything happen.
Different yogis have different ideas about meditation – some are trying to calm the mind and others are trying to silence their thoughts.
The right motivation for mindfulness meditation is to try to know what is happening in the mind and body in the present moment. We are trying to see the process as it is. We’re not trying to change or control the experience. We’re trying to know the process, that’s all.
Good or bad experience, we try to know. For example, if the mind is calm, we know the mind is calm; if the mind is not calm, just recognize that the mind is not calm – that’s it, finished! There is no need to do anything. So simple, that’s why it is so difficult.
People always want to do something difficult. Because of craving or resistance, they always try to make things difficult, but the meditation idea is so simple – as it is.
If the mind is wandering, just recognize as such; if you recognize what is happening in the present moment, you’re meditating.
At home, we follow the defilement; we hardly watch them. There’s a lot of attachment at home – we can’t even stand to throw away our old shoes. Therefore, we need to practice more at home; only then defilements cannot grow.
Why can’t meditation wisdom grow? It’s because the mind is full of defilements. If defilements get less and less, only then can wisdom increase.
At home, whatever you see, how do you feel? What is your state of mind? Just check. If you notice the wrong view each time you’re aware, then wisdom can increase.
Yogi: I have lots of fear and anger with my job and when I meditate, I can know why the problems arise.
Sayadaw: The reasons you know causing your problems are all (through thinking) about the concepts. It is not from understanding the mind process.
You need to learn about the activities of the mind – if you know more about the nature of the mind, the defilements cannot overrun the mind when they arise.
Everyone has fear and anger, not only you.
Yogi: More self-pity arises because it seems like everybody at work knows about my problem.
Sayadaw: It’s this idea of self that makes the mind suffer even more.
Sayadaw: Because of the object, the mind appears – it is cause and effect. For example, you’re in a good mood, but when someone mentions something you don’t like, the mind gets upset.
Conversely, the object changes when the mind nature changes because the object and mind are related, each conditioning the other.
Yogi: Does whatever memory or thought that arises at the moment of death influence the quality of death (object conditioning the mind)?
Sayadaw: If you know that it is a natural process – that the experience is just an object being known – then, you’ll be free of the memory or thought (i.e. wisdom mind conditioning the object).
Yogi: To me, the conceptual world is more real than the retreat – I choose work over the retreat.
Sayadaw: Yes, the conceptual world is very important – we come to retreat for only 10 days, but most of the time, we live in the conceptual world.
How do we live peacefully and more meaningfully in the conceptual world?
If you do not know your mind, why it suffers and why it is peaceful, then how can you live in the conceptual world peacefully?
We see a lot of people suffering, getting stressed, in the conceptual world – how can you live in a relaxed, beneficial way?
You need to know your mind to live peacefully. When you suffer, and you don’t know why the mind suffers, then how can you find peace?
Those who spend sleepless nights thinking and worrying, they don’t know how to stop because they don’t know the nature of the mind.
Yes, our lives are very important – but whether we choose to live them peacefully or with suffering, that is our choice. But if we don’t understand the nature of the mind, there is no way it can be peaceful.
That is why meditation is so important.
Yogi: Does the weather affect meditation? I notice that the state of my mind deteriorated when I left for China.
Sayadaw: It is because of the surrounding, not the weather. You’re used to practicing in the center, not outside the center.
Outside, if you don’t keep reminding yourself to be aware, day by day, you forget to practice more and more.
So, in daily life, you have to remind yourself regularly every day to maintain your practice.
In the center, you remind yourself to be aware how many times a day? When you return home, you remind yourself less and less until defilement overwhelms the mind.
In the center, you’re always mindful – this surrounding reminds you to be mindful, but in daily life, we stay with mindlessness and defilements.
You need to guide your mind towards the practice all the time. In your daily life, when it becomes a habit to practice, then the surrounding is no longer important.
Throughout the day, in your daily activities, you need to check many times by asking: Are you aware?
This way of reminding many times is enough because slowly, the mind will recognize if awareness is present or absent, working or not.
It is not difficult. Whatever you do – mental, verbal and physical actions – just add the knowing.
In mindfulness meditation, we can do two jobs at one time – e.g. when we eat, we can also be aware that we are eating.
You need to develop this skill of being aware when other minds are doing other things. We can develop this skill because the mind is very quick and fast.
When we drive, we can listen to music and eat snacks because the mind can do many things at the same time – all we have to do is add in the awareness.