THE CRAZY MIND THAT CRAVES SUFFERING

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group B 12 January 2023 (57:40-1:00:22)

Yogi: I see that at times my mind is craving suffering. Is this nature or is my mind crazy?

Sayadaw: This is so normal; it is crazy but you’re not alone. The Buddha called us puthujjana or mad worldlings.

The mind has habit patterns and there is craving for suffering. Look at the number of people who go to watch sad or tragic movies. We want to go and experience all this suffering.

The good news is that when we know it is crazy to crave suffering, that is already one step out of it.

PERSISTENT AWARENESS MEANS BEING CONSISTENT

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Groups A+B 14 January 2023 (1:36:52-1:40:07)

Yogi: How do I cultivate the persistent light awareness? I find that I put too much energy into being aware because I feel tired.

Sayadaw: We tend to think of persistence as something very continuous; so, when we make that kind of effort, it becomes very tight.

It is rather doing something consistently – there may be gaps, but if you’re consistent, it is okay. Do it at a pace that doesn’t make you tense.

We don’t have to aim for any kind of continuity.

WHAT TO DO WHEN WE KEEP FALLING ASLEEP DURING THE SIT

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group A 10 January 2023 (1:33:23-1:38:00)

Yogi: I keep falling asleep when I sit meditate, in almost every sitting. I don’t eat heavy meals; probably I don’t know how to watch.

Sayadaw: It’s going to keep happening because you’ve developed the habit of falling asleep during the sit.

Firstly, you must keep the mind awake. You can ask questions – e.g. Am I still aware?

You can also sit up straighter, put something on your head so that you wake up when it falls off, and keep your eyes open.

Talk to yourself; actively use your thinking to keep you awake. You can name what you’re aware of: I’m aware of this now and I’m aware of that now.

If after 10 minutes you still keep on falling asleep, get up and walk. Just don’t keep allowing the mind to sleep when you sit.

Secondly, it helps if you make your mindfulness in daily activities more continuous. Again, if you lose your mindfulness often in daily life, name your awareness – I’m aware of walking now, I’m aware of heat now, I’m aware of touching sensation now.

THE BROAD DEFINITION OF AN INSIGHT

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group A 6 January 2023 (1:00:35-1:01:58)

If you’re aware and your mind is fairly free of greed, anger and delusion, when the mind faces a difficult situation and the mind recognizes what needs to be done, that’s an insight, that’s wisdom.

When the mind has less greed, anger and delusion and it knows what to do in a given situation, that’s wisdom at work. That’s the general definition of insight at work.

WORLDLY INSIGHTS AND SPIRITUAL INSIGHTS

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group A 6 January 2023 (1:02:00-1:05:12)

Yogi: I feel that some of my insights are worldly insights like there is a problem and some thoughts come to relieve the suffering. I look at it more like solving worldly problems. It is not the kind of wisdom that understands reality, the more spiritual type of insight.

Sayadaw: If you understand that something is cause and effect, if you understand that the mind works this way, if you understand that the body works this way, if you understand that the mind and body work this way and therefore are interacting this way together, therefore there are these causes and effects, therefore this is the way things are, that’s a spiritual insight, a lokuttara nana because it is about mind-matter cause and effect.

Those insights can come in very ordinary ways, for example, in seeing, there is a nature that can see, and there is not a person that sees. You can either understand this in a very isolated spiritual insight way or you can understand that this is how it is. If you see some affliction and can see that this nature is at work, and you’re not caught up in the grief of it, that is also an insight into that nature.

Because we glorify these ‘wow’ moments, we undermine all the ways that our ordinary insights are important.

WE DEEPEN OUR UNDERSTANDING OF AN OBJECT WITH EXPERIENCE

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group B 8 January 2023 (1:15:40-1:21:16)

Yogi: I broke parts of my vertebrae in an accident and was hospitalized for 3 months. During that time, I was totally mindful and happy to be alive.

When I had recovered, I tried to meditate, but because of the trauma, it was chaotic whenever I tried to watch the mind. How do I deal with the chaotic mind?

Sayadaw: The chaotic mind is just the mind; it is no different from any other mind.

We just do our yogi’s jobs and try watch it without blaming ourselves. Be happy that there is awareness; then, that’s fine.

One thing to remember – you were very mindful before that and were very happy that you were alive. We like it when we’re happy and we’re not so mindful of the happiness itself although we could be mindful of other things.

We let ourselves be happy heedlessly although we are mindful of other things. We then suffer more when chaos come because of the contrast. We suffer more because we weren’t in a state of awareness of happiness, investigating happiness and understanding its nature. When we lose it, we suffer more.

But as far as being aware, chaotic mind is the same. Everything is still an object – happy mind is an object and a chaotic mind is also an object.

DO NOT ASSUME LEARNING ONLY HAPPENS WHEN YOU ASK QUESTIONS

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group B 8 January 2023 (33:57-38:17)

Yogi: On the cushion, it seems that the knower is more obvious than the object. It is able to notice many objects but they’re not clear; the knowing is clearer.

Whenever I ask questions, it interrupts the awareness process. How can I ask questions for the purpose of learning then?

Sayadaw: You need to understand what learning means. Firstly, when you’re interested in the experience and you’re recognizing the quality of what is happening in your field of experience, learning is already happening.

You recognize that it feels more like the knower and not so much the knowing mind; you recognize that the knower can know many objects. This indicates that learning is already happening.

You need to understand that learning is happening when it is happening and not that learning happens only when you ask a question.

IDEAS THAT ARE HOLDING US BACK

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group B 8 January 2023 (1:43:10-1:58:05)

Yogi: During long retreats, my samadhi was good during the sit and I could be aware of all objects, even pain, without reacting to them. This experience keeps on repeating in every sitting. Is there something I’m missing? My daily activity awareness isn’t good and I try to do more walking meditation.

Sayadaw: Don’t sit so long; if you want to have the same quality of awareness when you go about your daily activities, do more daily activity awareness until you get the same quality of awareness as when you sit.

Yogi: I get my samadhi which then builds up the awareness only when I’m sitting.

Sayadaw: We’re not looking at samadhi; we’re looking at awareness. You don’t need more samadhi; it is balanced enough because your mind is not dull but you need to carry the awareness into your daily life. Your lack is practicing in daily life and making it seamless.

So, work on maintaining the awareness when you’re walking and eating.

Yogi: I can only get my daily activity awareness by building up the sitting samadhi and awareness. Without that process, it can be off for days before I remember to be aware in daily life. I need a month or so to build up a stable samadhi from the sitting.

Sayadaw: You have become attached to the idea that that samadhi gives you that type of awareness. You are not even giving yourself a chance; you are hindering any process you have by being disappointed that is not like that instead of celebrating every moment you have awareness, even if it is once a day.

You’re spending your time lamenting over what you cannot get instead of celebrating what you have.

Please go with the momentary samadhi. If you’re waiting for the big samadhi to carry your mindfulness, then when you’re about to die, you’ll have to go for retreat for a month first.

Forget about getting that kind of samadhi; work on being thankful for every moment your mind remembers to be aware and balance your sitting and walking with daily activities and work on appreciating every moment of mindfulness.

Yogi: There is another challenge. At the retreat, the mind can do the yogi’s jobs easily, but once I’m at home, the mind refuses to practice.

Sayadaw: We come geared up in a certain way when we go for retreat, but we don’t gear ourselves up the same way to practice at home. We don’t come with determination.

Home life isn’t going to take away our care for the Dhamma. The Dhamma doesn’t say we have to sit and wake up early. Everything is Dhamma; so, why do we categorize the Dhamma by when I wake up early and I do this or I sit, then it is practice. So, we have all these fixed ideas and undermine ourselves.

It is our mind that matters the most. What are our beliefs that are holding us back? What is in our mind that is telling us we cannot practice at home?

A big part of practicing at home is contentment and appreciation. If we go home and expect to practice as we practice on retreat, we’re always going to be disappointed. But if we’re happy for every second that we’re mindful and appreciate it, we’re going to grow it.

ASKING ADVICE ON UNDERSTANDING OWN PRACTICE

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group A 10 January 2023 (07:24-16:10)

Yogi: I can watch the emotions when they are strong like aversion, but under normal conditions, I don’t know how to practice because I can only watch by feeling the emotion or the calmness.

Sayadaw: When you have no difficult emotion and the attitude is right, there is nothing more to check, take a primary object or ask yourself what the mind is aware of now? See if it picks up any of the 5 physical senses.

Stay with that and check your attitude now and again.

Yogi: Do I have to fix a specific physical object? When I sit, I don’t know what to do; I’ll try to get an object like the breath but it is very difficult for me to stay with the breath.

Sayadaw: Don’t use the breath then; use something that is easy for you. When you’re calm, what can you be aware of?

Yogi: These few days when I’m tense and cannot practice, I try to relax. Today, I try to do nothing and just let it be. I close my eyes and can begin to feel the body and my breath without doing anything. But the objects keep changing; I cannot just pay attention to one object.

Do I need to fix to one object or let the awareness go here or there?

Sayadaw: Let it go to more objects.

Yogi: I have the idea that the mind should fix onto one object to get the samadhi or calm mind.

Sayadaw: We’re not being aware to calm down – so long as the mind doesn’t have doubt, greed, and aversion, the mind will be calm. If those things are present, yes, the mind won’t be calm. But that is okay because we just have to know that.

Whether the mind is calm or not is not because of one or many objects; the mind is calm when there is no greed, anger, and delusion. When the defilements are present, the mind is not calm.

LEARN TO FACE DIFFICULT SITUATIONS

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group B 8 January 2023 (1:29:00-1:32:00)

The mind having challenges is healthy for the mind. The mind that is too peaceful is not growing and does not mature. If we’re able to be up to the challenge of the difficulties the mind faces, and stay mindful, it helps the mind to learn and grow.

When we’re dying, it’s not going to be comfortable. For most of us, dying is not going to be a pleasant experience.

We should take every opportunity to face difficulties in our lives with mindfulness. Appreciate that mindfulness is present because if mindfulness guides us, we’re not going to get lost in the story of what we’re experiencing.

It’s our habit to look for pleasant experiences in meditation – we’re always wanting the next insight, but that's not going to happen when we’re dying.

What we’re going to have will be the problems we need to face. So, try to face them now.

HOW TO DISCERN SEEING FROM LOOKING

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group A 10 January 2023 (1:47:32-1:50:55)

Yogi: I try to be aware of seeing and looking, but I’m not sure what is the difference. Also, what is the difference between seeing and looking and the awareness of seeing and looking?

Sayadaw: Close your eyes and don’t open yet. When you open, know whether you can see.

Now, open your eyes. Can you see?

Yogi: Yes.

Sayadaw: Now, do you know that you can see?

Yogi: Yes.

Sayadaw: That’s it. Simple, right?

Now, you’re looking at the camera; what can you see?

Yogi: I can see the hall, I can see the Buddha image, and I can see the laptop.

Sayadaw: Okay. Then you’re looking, right?

Yogi: Oh, okay, okay. Thank you.

KEEPING THE EYES OPEN OR CLOSED OR HALF OPEN

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group A 10 January 2023 (1:15:12-1:16:16)

Yogi: As a beginner yogi, can I open my eyes while practicing sitting meditation or walking meditation?

Sayadaw: Yes, for both sitting and walking meditation.

Yogi: I will have my eyes half open while walking.

Sayadaw: You can have your eyes fully open. Meditation is the work of the mind; the mind is being aware.

So, whether you open your eyes or close your eyes or half open your eyes, it really doesn’t matter so long as your mind observes.

WE OBSERVE WHAT THE MIND IS DOING, NOT DIRECT THE DOING

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group A 6 January 2023 (1:25:22-1:26:21)

Yogi: Sayadaw advices to start being aware of 1 object and then expand it to 2 objects, is that correct?

Sayadaw: You misunderstand the instruction. It is not to expand the awareness – we don’t do anything but to notice something.

Stay on 1 object and if the mind begins to notice more objects, then recognize that the mind is starting to know more objects.

It is not to start to know more objects, but rather if the mind starts to notice more objects, recognize that.

Yogi: If the mind just notices breath, then it notices breath; and if the mind notices breath and seeing, then it notices breath and seeing. Got it. Thank you so much.

DON’T MEDITATE VERY SERIOUSLY

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group A 10 January 2023 (1:03:10-1:07:15)

Yogi: I do my meditation on the move because I’m a very active person. When I learned about this meditation, I can’t really sit properly. I just observe whatever I can observe during daily activities.

Initially, it was quite alright, and only recently I notice that the restlessness has become very obvious. I worry about this.

Sayadaw: Don’t meditate very seriously; relax and pretend that you’re on vacation and not meditating. Don’t watch the restlessness. If you watch it too directly and the mind is afraid of it, it’ll make it worse.

Do something that makes you happy while being aware of yourself; it could be washing the dishes or anything active.

CHALLENGES HELP THE MIND LEARN AND GROW

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group B 8 January 2023 (1:23:25-1:29:32)

Yogi: Usually at the beginning of the retreat, there will be some difficult situations, and some bodily discomfort and it triggers a lot of awareness and immediately after that, there is happiness because the mind recognizes the cultivation of the mind.

Sayadaw: It is healthy for the mind to face challenges because the mind that is too peaceful is not growing and does not mature. The challenges the mind faces, if we’re able to stay mindful, help the mind to learn and grow.