STRONG AVERSION TOWARDS NOISE IN THE MEDITATION HALL

| Kalaw Retreat Mar 2017 - Day 6 Discussion Group C (31:34-33:18)

This is your weakness; so, you must spend time watching anger. You need to spend a lot of time looking at what you think is noise, learning about your mind’s reaction to it.

Every time you have a reaction to the noise, you should watch the anger. Watch it until it’s gone and then look at the noise. You must do this.

It is only when the mind has no reaction to the noise that the mind has learnt its lesson. If it has a reaction, it is something we must learn from.

DEFILEMENTS EXAGGERATE THE EXPERIENCE

| Kalaw Retreat Mar 2017 - Day 7 Discussion Group D (1:54:15-1:58:44)

Our reality and our fantasies are so different. In the thoughts, the old is real; the fantasies are real in the thoughts. The present experience is not the same as the fantasies.

The mind has so many fantasies and beliefs, and the reality is sometimes so far away from that.

So if you eat without mindfulness, then you’ll eat it with your idea of what it is like. That is why when you’re really mindful, the mind cannot indulge so much in its fantasies; and when it does indulge, it can’t really be mindful.

Meditation UNDERSTOOD, IS THE WAY OF LIFE

| Kalaw Retreat Mar 2017 - Day 8 Discussion Group A (37:50-39:35)

Meditation can be understood in so many different ways. For a lot of people, so often meditation can be such a separate thing from life, not a way of life.

Meditation is something to escape from life – that if they do it separately, exclusively, one day their problems will just disappear like that.

But if we understood meditation in the right way, then it should be something that we can definitely use as part of our life. It should be the most useful thing in our life.

The Buddha taught that the Dhamma is good for both the mundane world, i.e., our daily lives, and the supramundane matters, gaining enlightenment. He says it’s beneficial in both. But the way the people use it, often it’s almost useless for daily living.

Non-self is cause and effect

| Kalaw Retreat Mar 2017 - Day 8 Discussion Group A (51:46-53:15)

People have an incomplete understanding of Anatta. They think of Anatta as ‘I have no control’ over things, but that’s not correct because there’s a cause and effect process.

What we need to understand is that when the result is already here, we cannot change the present result. Anatta is actually cause and effect – if we understood cause and effect, we would know that in the present moment there is a choice to effect new causes, to put in new conditions.

Wisdom can put in new conditions like remembering to be aware, learning how to be aware, or just putting in wholesome minds. It can then have positive effects because if you put in the wholesome conditions, then wholesome results come about.

Anatta doesn’t mean that there is no control; it only means that all you can work on are the conditions, not the current results.

If there were no Anatta, you wouldn’t be able to fulfill the perfections, the paramis; you won’t be able to supply those conditions for the perfection of the paramis. But because it is possible, we can fulfill the paramis.

FIND OUT THE BENEFITS OF BEING AWARE

| Kalaw Retreat Mar 2017 - Day 7 Discussion Group B (1:33:16-1:34:02)

You need to check with yourself – when you’re aware, how is the mind? When you’re not aware, how is the mind?

How does being aware, even though it seems to be about useless things, what sort of effect does it have in your life? When you’re not aware, what sort of effect does it have in your life?

And then you understand the benefit of this exercise of awareness. You need to have more information because even when you learn something, you don’t even know that your mind learns something.

It’s not what you do, but with what attitude you do what you do

| Kalaw Retreat Mar 2017 - Day 8 Discussion Group C (1:28:29-1:29:22)

Notice that in the components of working with something, it’s not what you do. It’s not the activity so much as the attitude held – like whether there is greed, simplicity, non-expectation. That’s what we need to check for.

Do we have the same mindset as when we did the other day? The other day, we weren’t expecting anything – we have to watch out for that; that’s the real ingredient.

If the attitude is right and the activity is right, then the result will be the same. But if the activity is the same but the attitude is different, the result will not be the same.

When the awareness slips away

| Kalaw Retreat Mar 2017 - Day 8 Discussion Group A (0:59:16-1:00:43)

You have to remind yourself “Am I aware? Am I aware?” Every now and then ask: “What is the mind doing?” “Is it here or thinking?” Check, check, check.

You must keep reminding yourself, then the awareness will keep coming back.

That reminding is called right thought. You can actually practice this reminding ourselves, this right thought by just telling ourselves to do it. And when you keep repeating it throughout the day, it helps the mindfulness to keep coming back.

Ask yourself: “What is happening in the mind? What is the mind thinking now? What is the mind feeling now? Am I aware? What is the awareness knowing?” Just checking like that, just reminding yourself very often.

If we keep reminding ourselves, the awareness starts working also.

There’s not only one way to be aware – it’s not only when you try to be aware that you are aware.

If you think about awareness you become aware; if you remind yourself, you become aware. There are different ways to help awareness to become present.

KEEP LEARNING WHEN WRONG ATTITUDE HAPPENS REPEATEDLY

| Kalaw Retreat Mar 2017 - Day 6 Discussion Group C (6:25-7:45)

Don’t bother about other things; just keep watching whether the wrong attitude is there or not.

When it’s there, keep watching it. When you know it and keep watching it, it’ll get less.

Don’t know it and keep doing something else. It’s not important for the greed to go away, but it’s more important for the mind to experience it again and again and watch it again and again until the mind understands that this is really not helpful.

When the mind finally understands from the repeated observations of its presence and effects, the mind finally gets it that it doesn’t help at all.

It’s a good lesson to learn; you need to give it time. So, watch it.

LOOK AT WHAT IS PRESENT, NOT FOLLOW WHAT THE MIND WANTS

| Kalaw Retreat Mar 2017 - Day 4 Discussion Group C (05:04-09:31)

It is more important to actually notice those wrong attitudes because by noticing them, then we’ll understand them. Right attitude will happen. And we’re still being aware.

Whatever it is, just look at it. This is happening – the mind is thinking like this, wandering. The important thing is not to lose sight of it, not to get lost in it, but to be witnessing it.

Looking at it, you’ll get more clues because you keep watching it and then the mind will begin to understand something about it.

BE REMINDED TO KEEP THE REALITY IN VIEW

| Kalaw Retreat Mar 2017 - Day 9 Discussion Group B (16:50-18:20)

When you think of the person, the aversion arises; when you see that the mind is averse, aversion goes down. Do you see the difference?

Defilements’ object is concept; wisdom’s object is reality. This is the example. Don’t feed the mind the wrong food – don't allow the mind to pay attention to the wrong thing.

At home the ordinary mind only perceives concept objects. As we meditate, we not only know the concepts, but we also start to know what the reality is [yogi’s note: the 6 senses happening]. And we have to remind ourselves to keep the reality in view.

We will still know the concepts, we don’t ignore them. But we must remember to remind ourselves to also recognize the reality, keep our eye on the reality. 

LET QUESTIONING BE RELATED TO THE OBSERVING

| Kalaw Retreat Mar 2017 - Day 5 Discussion Group B (1:16:00 - 1:16:51)

Instead of saying “What is the mind doing now?” it might be more helpful to say “Which mind is obvious to me now?” “Which mind do I notice at work now?” because in our mind, at any moment, there are so many minds at work at the same time; it’s not one by one.

That might be more helpful because that’s what you notice. It could be the mind that is active like the thinking mind or the liking mind, or it could be the awareness itself because that is always there and you might notice that.

It doesn’t matter what you notice; it’s just whatever you notice.

HOW NOT TO DRIFT INTO THINKING

| Kalaw Retreat Mar 2017 - Day 6 Discussion Group A (24:04-25:28)

You want to keep making sure that your active attention stays active. You want to keep double checking that the mind hasn’t sort of first you are watching thinking and then slowly swayed into thinking.

You have to be active – it can be a little mechanical but you have to keep reminding yourself, “Is the mind aware now and what is it aware of now?” You need to be actively investigating your active attention.

Give yourself work – like there are five sense doors; which ones am I aware of now? Are these the only things present? Can I also notice the others?

Actively give yourself work so the mind doesn’t drift off even though there is thinking. There can be thinking, but active awareness will prevent drifting into thinking. You will remain conscious of thinking.

When you feel clearly connected to some objects that you’re observing, once the awareness feels more established and more connected, you can then start checking if you see the difference between the object and the awareness.

VEDANA IS A USEFUL OBJECT

| Kalaw Retreat Mar 2017 - Day 4 Discussion Group C (1:19:10-1:20:00)

I like using vedana as an object because I have used vedana as an object for so many years, for so much of my practice that the mind is so skillful at using vedana as an object and not getting biased.

From the standpoint of using vedana as an object it’s easy because vedana is like in the centre between the body and the mind – because vedana is the mind but most of the time it’s feeling the body. I find it an easy standpoint from which to view the mind and the body.

I find it a very useful object.

DELUSION PERSONALIZES THOUGHTS

| Kalaw Retreat Mar 2017 - Day 8 Discussion Group A (48:51-49:58)

Whenever there is this thought that something is ‘me’ comes up, recognize that the mind is thinking this is ‘me’ doing it. Sometimes we think of it as free will. And whenever it sees the mind as less personalized, recognize that the mind is seeing it as less personalized.

Otherwise, when you think about going home, you think that’s you. And when you watch the thoughts and you have no control over the thoughts, you think there’s no free will.

There’s this switching between thinking something is impersonal and something is personal and believing in the personal and not realizing that you’ve just personalized what is also being seen.

As for the thoughts, you have been observing them for so long, you can talk about them as though they’re happening on their own, but other times we think we’re thinking, right? But they’re all part of the mental stuff.

It’s delusion that personalizes the thoughts – it’s not you either.

WE FEAR THE FAKE DEATH Because we DON’T SEE the real death

| Kalaw Retreat Mar 2017 - Day 8 Discussion Group A (55:35-56:25)

Conceptual death, the death of a conceptual person or life, is what we see because delusion does not see that every moment there is a rising and passing away.

Every moment, things are dying in the sense of changing.

And so, there are the small deaths and the big deaths. Actually the big death is not real.

Because we’re in samsara, the big death doesn’t mean the end of life – the big death brings you to another life. That stream of consciousness doesn’t actually die.

But every moment, a mind dies – and that’s the real death. But we don’t see the real death because we miss seeing the real death, we fear the fake death.