COMPASSION ALONE HAS NO SENSE OF SUFFERING IN IT

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 8 (37:42-41:22)

Yogi: When I’m aware of grief and anxiety, I’m detached from them. I fear that it’ll also happen to the compassion I have for the people close to me.

When I’m detached from those who’re sick, the compassion has a different flavor than the usual. Perhaps I don’t know what compassion is. 

Sayadaw: It’s a different level of compassion. What we’re used to experiencing as compassion is mixed with suffering. That suffering bit is actually aversion because we don’t want things to be that way – we would like things to be fine.

There is the wishing well for others, but also there is the non-acceptance of the situation or grief. So, it is mixed.

When there is pure compassion, compassion is a wholesome mind, then it will feel good.

The mind understands that there is suffering going on, but it is not suffering together with it.

Yogi: The confusion is because the ‘I’ is not much there anymore, I was afraid I would lose compassion for myself and others. I don’t have to be afraid of that.

Sayadaw: When there is more ‘I’, there is more unwholesome and the mind experiences more of the grief. Compassion alone has no sense of suffering in it.

BE AWARE OF CONFUSION, NOT LOOK FOR CLARITY

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (1:07:57-1:09:45)

Yogi: How do I deal with confusion because I cannot realize confusion when I’m confused or when I’m not knowing? It is really tricky.

Sayadaw: Just suffer it. (Joking)

Confusion is not not-knowing. Not-knowing just means you don’t know; that is not confusion. 

Confusion means that you’re unclear about what you think you should be knowing. Confusion is being unclear; it’s not that you don’t know. 

When we’re confused, we usually know we’re confused, like what is it or what am I supposed to think or what am I supposed to do? 

PRACTICE WATCHING PHYSICAL AND MENTAL DISCOMFORT

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 5 (37:15-51:43)

Yogi: When I watch aversion, at what point should I go and do something about it and not just look at the aversion? 

Sayadaw: When you have a physical illness or physical discomfort that can be relieved, I’m all for relieving it. The reason is so that the aversion doesn’t keep building in the mind -having aversion build in the mind is not helpful because then you cannot be mindful. 

Having done everything we can, sometimes we’re left with residual physical discomfort or mental dis-ease that cannot be relieved. That’s the point when you have to be mindful of it and learn the nature of mind and matter so that the mind is not so affected by the physical discomfort. That’s what we want to learn.

What we can relieve, we relieve and what we cannot, we need to practice watching till we can relieve it. 

We start with things we know we can get relief from so that it doesn’t give the mind a lot of pressure. If we sit and there is some pain, we can choose to stand up for the pain to go away, or we can take a little time to investigate what it is like if we watch the aversion in the mind while there is pain in the leg.

If we become skillful at watching aversion so that aversion is not there – if we know how to adjust our mind towards the aversion – we can learn to become almost neutral at watching physical and mental discomfort.

We need to practice now because when we’re on our deathbed, we will probably have pain and then it is too late to start practicing.

We need to have learnt something now so that we can be at peace with whatever is happening as it is.

THE MIND GETS RESTLESS WHEN AWARENESS IS ABSENT

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (18:00-20:55)

Yogi: I lose awareness at interviews – the mind and body become restless and I sweat and get tense. 

Sayadaw: What do you do then?

Yogi: I try to be aware.

Sayadaw: Be aware at the interview. Try knowing that you’re listening, understanding and feeling, lightly.

When we lose awareness, all the things that you describe can happen; and it’s good that you know that. 

This is information that the mind can learn – when awareness is absent, the mind gets restless. This is nature – the process of the mind.

We can understand these processes in our own experience that when there is mindfulness the mind gets a certain way and when there is no mindfulness the gets another way.

I learned that when I was mindful it made the mind feel better; and when I was not mindful, the mind suffered.

MIND-BODY INTERACTION

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (52:35:58:36)

Yogi: There was unpleasant sensation in the shoulder that came very strongly from a past retreat. It was not pain but an overwhelming sensation. I could see the aversion of not wanting and the wanting to know what it was. 

It helped when I opened up the awareness to the whole body and expanded the awareness to more objects during walking – is that the right way to practice?

Sayadaw: Don’t look at the sensation directly because the mind already knows that it’s there. 

The main attention should be on the reaction of your mind which is the aversion.

If you keep your attention on the aversion, you’ll see how when the aversion changes, it changes your perception of the sensations; and that’s the connection you want to see.

Because of the aversion, the mind has the experience of the unpleasant sensation. It is only when you watch the aversion, and sometimes when it goes away, you’ll see how the mind sees the sensation there as what it is. 

But don’t think of meditating to make the unpleasant sensation go away; the body is just a set of conditions.

This object can give rise to the understanding of the nature of body and mind interaction.

FEELING TIRED

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (00:05-02:34)

Yogi: How does one work with feeling tired? There are different qualities of tiredness in the body and in the mind; and sometimes, I just accept it as part of being old.

Sayadaw: As we get older, it is natural to be more tired. If we do have aversion towards it, we need to work with the aversion.

We let the tiredness be because we won’t be able to meditate the tiredness away. When there’s a body, there will be tiredness.

But we can practice in a way that the mind is more accepting so that the mind is not averse or resisting it. This gives the mind more rest.

INSIGHT ALWAYS RELIEVES THE MIND

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (22:22-25:10)

Yogi: A small change in perspective helps to relieve the stress. 

Sayadaw: Insight always relieves the mind.

That insight was able to come because there was some awareness continuing in the midst of the aversion and everything else.

No awareness ever goes to waste even if it feels like the awareness is half-hearted.

Even if you feel like you’re not putting in enough effort and you’re not trying properly, even if you’re struggling with the awareness, it is okay.

We always have these judgments about our less than perfect awareness, but so long as there is some awareness, it will bear fruit.

HOW TO TELL APART WHOLESOME WANTING FROM GREED

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (12:00-15:03)

How do I tell if my wanting for transformation is wholesome or greed?

Sayadaw: Not every desire is greed. You have to check if the wanting is motivated by wisdom or greed. 

If the desire is wholesome, the mind feels confident, purposeful, clear about what to do and works towards its goal.

Once greed is involved, and greed has its characteristics, there are impatience, tiredness and boredom with the practice – all these signs will show that greed is there. There is also dissatisfaction or tension when greed cannot immediately get its goal. 

FIRE-PROOFING THE MIND

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (26:00-32:25)

Yogi: I have a problem with my old and frail parents and I need Sayadaw’s advice how to handle it when I go back. 

My mum is in a nursing home and my dad is giving me a hard time. I feel for him, but I still have my issues from the past.

What is a wise way to deal with this? 

Sayadaw: You have to make yourself fire proof.

The unwholesome minds are like fire. When we deal with other people – and they have their unwholesome minds – sometimes we catch fire.

If you don’t want to catch fire, you have to practice ahead to really stay within yourself and be mindful; that’s your safety zone.

Being mindful – being able to maintain a peace of mind while interacting is one part of fire-proofing yourself – the other part is to be skillful when you interact with others. It is the wisdom of how to communicate, to be sensitive to the moment and knowing how to respond; and sometimes it comes with experience.

Yogi: When the mind is not stable, can I step out of the interaction?

Sayadaw: Yes, when you’re catching fire, it is not helpful anymore except stepping out.

When we pay too much attention to the other person, that’s when we lose mindfulness. We need to stay mindful of our own responses so that as we’re interacting we’re in touch with our reactions. 

Daily life practice is challenging, but very interesting.

WISDOM AND CONFIDENCE SHOW UP WHEN WE CONTINUE TO PRACTICE

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (07:55-10:43)

Yogi: I thought I was following Sayadaw’s instructions, but I wasn’t really doing it right. And it was inspiring today when I could really follow his instructions. 

The moment I could follow Sayadaw’s instructions, the mind changed and I could see things clearly. Confidence arose and I felt relieved.

Sayadaw: When the practice falls into place, it brings up a lot of faith and inspires the mind to continue. However, don’t discount the previous days – it was because the mind was trying those days that it fell into place today.

Yogi: I also appreciate the simplicity of Sayadaw’s instructions because they are really simple. It is incredible how we make them complicated and manage to entangle something that is really straight forward.

Sayadaw: It is the nature of the unwholesome minds to complicate things – that is their job.

DON’T LABEL THE DEFILEMENTS UNLESS SURE

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 5 (45:40-50:00)

Yogi: Seeing the moon, I feel a sense of joy and gratitude. The mountain here is so beautiful and so are the flowers. I’m aware of them and the next thing I’m saying that they are beautiful.

And I say ‘it’s lobha’. 

Sayadaw: You see a flower and you think it’s beautiful, just know that. You don’t have to label it as greed because you’re not even sure that it’s greed. Just because you think that it’s beautiful doesn’t immediately make it greed.

Know as it is; don’t label it unless it’s very clear to you that it’s greed.

I’m seeing, seeing is happening; I notice it’s yellow and that I’m starting to think it’s beautiful. And this is what it feels like.

Don’t have a fixed idea that when I’m mindful I have to do this and that mustn’t happen. It’s like if this happens, this is happening now and if that happens, that is happening now.

And you’re mindful every moment.

We don’t have to fix the future or fix the object.

SUFFERING INTENSIFY WHEN MIND IS BELIEVED AS MINE

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 4 (54:05-58:17)

Yogi: I’m frustrated and sad when there’s a lot of judgment and sometimes my mind is so stupid because it is such a waste of time. Sometimes I do compassion for myself when it is really hard and that loosens the tension.

Sayadaw: The main culprit for hating these minds that arise, the main reason we have so much aversion to these minds, is because we think ‘it is my mind’.

If it was not my mind but some other person’s mind, we would not hate it so much.

Remember that judging is one of the nature of the mind, not only your mind can have it; every other person’s mind can have it. 

And this sort of mind is just conditioning. These minds have manifested before and now they manifest again. It is not our fault; it is just conditions that have allowed them to arise.

Everything we experience now is just the effect of past conditions. 

WHEN THERE’S WISDOM, THE OBJECT FEELS LESS SUBSTANTIAL

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 6 (58:05-1:01:40)

Yogi: I have habitual very aversive thoughts – I’m totally identified with them. And I start to see the wanting in the stories to fix the past. Seeing the wanting, the thoughts are still there, but they become light and less solid. 

Sayadaw: The cause of aversion is greed.

When you saw the greed in the aversive thoughts and they didn’t feel so solid, it is because there’s some wisdom in that seeing. 

When we see the direct cause of something, it doesn’t feel so solid because wisdom is present.

In a sense, you’re seeing it as it is. You’re seeing the reality of what is happening. 

GREED IS HARDER TO DETECT

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 6 (52:00-53:55)

Yogi: I saw many things I like during the walk but I couldn’t see the greed. But when I saw things I didn’t like, immediately I saw aversion. For me, greed is more difficult to detect than aversion.

Sayadaw: Aversion is always easier to recognize because aversion is quite rough. Greed is not always obvious because greed is kind of sugar-coated and tastes nice. 

When greed is very strong, when it is grasping, it is obvious. When greed gets to the point that it is causing tension in you, then you’ll know it.

AWARENESS CAN BE STABILIZED WITH WISDOM OR WITH METTA

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 6 (37:50-46:10)

Yogi: When a strong mental or bodily pain arises, it needs more than be watched; it needs to be touched and loved.

Sayadaw: If we’re guided by right view, we become willing to observe something. 

Many teachers teach to have some metta for ourselves when we face a difficult emotion so that the mind can observe in a softer way. The effect is to reduce the aversion towards the experience, to make the mind more willing to approach it.

The hope is for the yogi to find a way to approach the experience in a way that is not painful.

I would always view the object as not mine or universal and something interesting, but for some of us viewing the experience with kindness brings positivity to the observing too.

If we find we’re able to bring up kindness and view our difficult experience with kindness, it serves the same purpose. The point is that we become willing to accept and observe; it doesn’t matter if it is interest or kindness which brings that acceptance and willingness. 

Once the mind can find the right stance to accept and observe, then it’s fine.