INVESTIGATE NOT BY THINKING BUT BY WATCHING

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (1:26:50-1:30:50)

Yogi: A lot of fear arose and I began to check the source of the fear.

I finally realized that it was my fear of getting old. Whatever I do – strenuous sports and risky business – is to avoid getting old. 

This is where I’m now, thinking and reflecting over all these things.

Sayadaw: There is a lot of thinking there – thinking and then observing, thinking and then observing – and the thinking has created its own story. 

Do more of the observing and less of the thinking. 

Investigate is not to investigate by thinking. When you have a question like why is there fear, you put aside the question and observe what is happening in the mind and body – just observe like watching a movie and not think further. 

WITH RIGHT ATTITUDE, ANY HAPPENING IS JUST BEING KNOWN

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 13 (28:00-32:13)

Yogi: Sayadaw’s book says that it is only with a free and light mind that I can meditate. Let’s say I have just come back from work with a heavy mind, how do I meditate?

Sayadaw: It is possible to meditate when you feel bad because I have clearly done it. 

So long as we have the right attitude, even when we’re feeling tired and heavy, we can simply be aware that we’re tired and heavy. If we’re not reacting and expecting it to be different, it is okay because we can still be mindful. 

In the book, it is more like saying when you practice continuously, sometimes you get to a state where the mind is light and free and it feels better to meditate. But, it doesn’t mean that it is the only way you can meditate.

Putting aside what is in the book, it really boils down to attitude. If there is no aversion towards the experience or greed for some other experience, then every experience is fine and we can be aware of it. It is like ‘I know this is happening and I can continue to know’ and that will grow the mindfulness – that is enough. 

But, if we don’t have the right attitude, then it feels heavy to try to be knowing something is happening – and we’ll be struggling with what we’re knowing. 

WHAT TO DO WHEN THE ATTITUDE IS WRONG

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 13 (32:55-33:37)

If we do have the wrong attitude, particularly when we’re confused, sometimes it’s the thinking that makes us so crazy. It is then helpful to take a simple object and watch it continuously.

Don’t allow the mind to think and just be aware continuously – and that helps to calm those excessive thoughts just like a concentration exercise.

WATCH THE NAGGING THOUGHTS REPEATEDLY

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 15 (23:02-27:18)

Yogi: When I’m sitting formally, I get tense. This prevents peace and steadiness of awareness. In other postures, I’m more relaxed.

I have watched lots of videos about the perfect sitting posture and try very much to sit in the perfect way. 

Sayadaw: There is no need to be perfect. Watch those thoughts that come up. If you don’t watch them, subconsciously, they will keep affecting you. 

You need to bring them up in front – every time you think this thought, you acknowledge it. You have to be conscious of it.

DOES THE MIND LIKE THE EXPERIENCE?

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 15 (23:00-25:48)

Yogi: When I sit, I get tense and it is hard for the mind to be relaxed or aware. I use Sayadaw’s advice to ask myself if the mind is relaxed to get the mind to relax. 

Sayadaw: It is more about checking what the attitude of the mind is rather than if the mind is relaxed. 

There is tension now – how does the mind feel about the tension? Does it like it?

Yogi: Of course not.

Sayadaw: Watch the disliking if you can, in a relaxed way. 

WHEN THERE IS TENSION DURING PRACTICE, TAKE CARE OF THE TENSION FIRST

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (46:00-50:34)

Yogi: I have ‘meditative’ headaches and I feel the tension around my eyes and temples. It’s just the tension without the pain. It builds up towards the evening and I can get tired and averse to it.

Sayadaw: You’re a little bit intense, like you’re quite serious in the way you’re practicing. There’s a little bit of trying too hard.

Because you’re doing it continuously day after day, it builds up. Practice continuously but lightly.

Yogi: If I take it lightly, then I wouldn’t be practicing continuously.

Sayadaw: It doesn’t have to be continuous. It’s like you practice lightly – when you lose mindfulness and you remember, then it comes back. Realize that because you’re practicing, it comes back and you can continue to be mindful again – when you lose it, it comes back. 

So, just keep noticing that it comes back, again and again.

If we feel that it must or has to be a certain way – you notice the words ‘must’ and ‘has to’ – then there is going to be tension.

THE PRIORITY IN DAILY-LIFE IS TO OFTEN CHECK THE STATE OF MIND

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 13(09:42-11:39)

Yogi: In daily life, when I remember to be aware, I sometimes get confused about what to be aware of because there are so many things happening. If I take the dominant object, it is often thinking.

Sayadaw: You can know the mind and what it is knowing – it is okay. 

The priority is to always check the state of the mind – how the mind is feeling as it is doing things so that the mind can stay balanced.

It is then easier to continue to be aware because the mind is balanced. When it hurries or when it worries, then it is difficult to be aware.

If you check, it is easier for the mind to become balanced again. If we don’t notice that the mind is hurrying or worrying, then we can get lost in it. 

THE APPROACH TO UNDERSTANDING PAIN

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 13(4:32-6:23)

Yogi: There are unpleasant feelings in the body and aversion arises. As instructed, I notice the bodily sensations and the aversion in the mind. 

It’s like a game – do I continue to do this? Is it time well spent?

Sayadaw: Is it a game because it keeps coming up and you have to keep watching it?

Yogi: Yes.

Sayadaw: If meditation is a game, it is great; then it is fun. 

Yogi: Will I ever win?

Sayadaw: Why not! It is important to check your attitude – remind yourself that aversion is not a bad thing and you’re here to understand its nature.

You remind yourself that it is nature so that you can watch it, again and again

When you understand that it is nature, you’ve won the game.

OBSERVE TO UNDERSTAND

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 13(00:30-4:20)

Yogi: How do I practice with sadness and grief that surface when I’m sending metta to my departed loved ones? 

I can see the emotion come and go because I’m not wanting it or pushing it away. Sayadaw mentions that happiness and suffering are both objects; could Sayadaw elaborate?

Sayadaw: You already know how to observe grief. Observing grief doesn’t mean that it goes away. 

You seem to be neutral in observing it – you can have an intention to understand more about the nature of grief.

Since you experience it, you have the opportunity to observe it and understand its nature.

Grief arises because of conditions that allow grief to arise – what are these conditions?

You will understand that it is also a process – it is not personal.

Whatever we experience, the first priority is to observe so that we get the right understanding about it.

WHEN WE REACT TO THE EXPERIENCE, WATCH THE REACTION

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (41:15-42:00)

Yogi: When I’m tired after a long working day, aversion comes up against the tiredness. How do I deal with the tiredness?

Sayadaw: You can just be tired; there is nothing wrong with that. You need to deal with the aversion.

When you’re tired, just rest, but deal with the aversion.

The body can be tired; you have to just let it rest. The important thing is whether the mind has a reaction to that or not. So, you watch the reaction.

NO HURRY TO HAVE RESULTS

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 12 (0:00-1:20)

Yogi: It’s a challenge to keep being aware when working in the kitchen, especially when having a conversation with coffee. No chance!

It is not that I’m disappointed or angry – it’s just that I recognize that it’s not easy, that my awareness is not strong enough to manage.

Sayadaw: Yes, that’s right; it’s okay.

Practicing the Dhamma is a life-long undertaking. We don’t have to have results now.

STRENGTHENING THE AWARENESS MIND

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (52:00-52:52)

It is not the continuity that comes with ‘me trying to be continuous’. Just relax and be mindful.

The nature of the mind is that if you allow something to happen more in the mind, that quality will get stronger. So, we just allow it to happen more frequently and see what that brings.

RELAX AND BE MINDFUL

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (51:06-52:26)

As a meditation teacher, it doesn’t help that I have to say ‘be mindful all the time’, or ‘keep the mindfulness continuous’. 

If I don’t say that, the yogis may not practice. But, it is only to try.

Yogis only need to relax and be mindful – when you lose mindfulness and you remember, then it comes back. Realize that, because you’re practicing, it comes back and you can continue to be mindful again – when you lose it, it comes back. 

Once, a yogi was getting tense from trying to make the mindfulness continuous. It was only when the yogi had the thought that the mindfulness couldn't be continuous in the beginning and he had to start from somewhere that it was such a relief to him and he could then relax. 

It’s not the continuity that comes with ‘me trying to be continuous’. Just relax and be mindful – don’t have the thought that you have to make it continuous. 

THE BENEFIT OF BEING AWARE

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (34:00-36:55)

Yogi: I realized that if I said what I was thinking, it could really hurt somebody badly. 

Now, it really motivates me to notice what I’m thinking – then, I won’t talk without realizing what I’m saying. 

It’s very important for me not to hurt anybody.

Sayadaw: When there is no mindfulness, it feels like there is danger for the mind. 

When there is enough awareness, we know when something happens in the mind and we know whether what happens in the mind is right or wrong, wholesome or unwholesome – then, we have a choice what to do with that thought.

If we don’t know, then we don’t have a choice because so often we can say what we think faster than we realize what we’re saying.

Now with awareness, you see it arise in the mind. 

REPEATED AWARENESS BRINGS IN WISDOM

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (26:25-31:18)

Yogi: Big stories arose and in the beginning I was totally involved with it. And when it kept coming, I realized that it was the same topic, the craving for recognition and praise. It was hurting and then came aversion towards these thoughts and stories. 

When I’m aware of what is going on, when I realize that the stories are useless, I’m no more involved in them and also I have more choices. And when the story comes again, it doesn’t have the same power any more.

Sayadaw: Just be aware continuously, again and again – it doesn’t go to waste because it teaches us something.

Like when you’re watching and you see the thoughts come continuously, at first the thoughts come again and again, and when the mind gathers enough data, you realize although they are different stories, they have the same theme. And then it has this effect on the mind – the mind starts to learn. Then, you start to see that it causes suffering this way; one time you see it very clearly and then the mind has enough power and information to decide “okay, this thought I don’t need to keep thinking it because it is going to do the same thing” and then it stops. 

At first, it’s just awareness and there is not enough wisdom. But when the awareness gathers enough information, wisdom comes in.