THE CHALLENGE OF PRACTICE AT HOME

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (32:20-32:54)

Yogi: I have a problem at home and will probably struggle with it when I go back.

My parents are old and frail – mom is sick in a nursing home and dad who gives me a hard time is suffering because he’s not allowed to visit her.

I feel for him, but have mixed feelings helping him. What would be a wise way to deal with this?

Sayadaw: Daily life practice is challenging but interesting because there are no fixed solutions.

You have to be creative; it’s not only mindfulness because you have to think how to approach things. You have to strategize and after that, do a postmortem of what works and what doesn’t.

ANY AWARENESS IS STILL VALUABLE

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (21:44-25:11)

Yogi: I realized that it was aversion towards having to report at this Q&A that caused the hours of stress and noticing this decreased the stress by 80%; just a change of perspective helped.

Sayadaw: That insight was able to come because there was some awareness even though there was aversion and you had much difficulty. You were trying to bring some awareness to the process. At some point the conditions came together and at that moment something was seen precisely and understood and it cleared the mind.

Knowing is one of the conditions that is necessary for that insight to happen. No awareness ever goes to waste, even if you feel like you’re not putting in enough effort or you’re not trying properly or you think the awareness is discontinuous or you are struggling to bring in bits of awareness.

We always have these judgments about our not perfect awareness, but really it is okay because as long as there is some awareness, it will bear fruit.

BELIEVING A THOUGHT THAT WE’RE NOT GOOD YOGIS

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 12 (1:24:45-1:27:07)

Yogi: Sometimes I try too hard to be a good yogi and I get so tired that sitting was nearly impossible and I get really frustrated.

Sayadaw: You can see how much the wanting to be a good yogi messes up the mind.

It’s just a thought that messes up the mind – it’s not even a fact or reality. It is not that you’re not a good yogi that upsets the mind; it’s just a thought.

The expectation is so high – what it does is that it keeps repeating the thought and it keeps giving you different ways of telling the same story. It just spins out of control because you won’t stop thinking.

Remember that this is just a story about you – know it but don’t believe it.

It is a good thing that it comes up because it is something the mind really holds about itself and you need to know it without getting lost in it enough times before the mind finally gets it.

When the medicine is good, it exposes the hidden disease so that it can be cured. It is good that it comes up because you have a chance to learn about it.

In your case, the unwholesome quality is about a belief that you have of yourself and your ability to practice.

WHEN THE MIND GETS DISTRACTED INTO THINKING INSTEAD OF MEDITATING

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (57:15-58:18)

A yogi had really good samadhi – really deep, still silences – when he sat.

Often during sitting, some image would flash in front of his eyes – it would be a person or a place.

Once the image of a person appeared and the yogi couldn’t remember his name. He started chewing after the person’s name until he lost all his samadhi.

It’s not even important to know the person’s name – he has lost all his samadhi. He has good samadhi but terrible paññā.

KNOWING THE UNPLEASANT FEELING IS AWARENESS

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 12 (26:00-30:07)

Yogi: This interview setting is kind of traumatic for me.

And, the whole afternoon, I was in a pre-panic mood. I made it here finally, but the awareness gets lost totally because it is too unpleasant.

Sayadaw: You don’t have to look at it; you already know that you’re in that state.

You only think it is difficult to be aware because you believe that if you’re aware of it, it’ll go away. You assume that if it doesn’t go away, then you’re not aware.

But in fact, awareness doesn’t make things go away. Awareness just makes you aware that something is present – and you were aware it was present.

So, it was not difficult to be aware; in fact, you were too aware. But if you thought that it was going to make it disappear, then, yes, that will be hard to achieve.

Neutral objects, it is easy for us to think ‘yes, there is awareness of this’, but with unpleasant objects it is very hard to feel that there is awareness because there is already a pushing of it.

That’s why we have to learn to face it and to maybe acknowledge intellectually that this is awareness. At first it is so unpleasant to know and experience it

If we do it often enough, the mind gets it that this is awareness, knowing that it is unpleasant and this is how it is.

AWARENESS BECOMES THE OBJECT WHEN THERE’S MOMENTUM

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 13 (11:50-12:56)

Yogi: Yesterday, I experienced a lot of tension and confusion because there were so many things to be aware of and I felt that I was bombarded and the awareness was scattered like flickering lights. And the mind started to think instead.

Sayadaw: When the awareness gets better, we know more objects. If we follow the objects, it becomes confusing.

So, stay with the knowing – just know that you’re aware – then it’s just one object.

The mind already knows what it knows – you don’t have to know the objects separately.

LEARNING FROM THE WORRYING MIND

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 14 (16:00-21:43)

Yogi: I feel very nervous to speak in English and I could feel my heart beating all day long and the thought ‘what would I say’ repeating. I hate it because I can’t be calm.

So, there’s strong aversion towards the excitement and the shame to share it. The effect is that I hide it and I don’t explore the nervousness.

Is this worrying only another object because it feels like a big hindrance? And, how do I practice?

Sayadaw: Yes, the excitement is just another object.

A lot of the times in our lives, we worry ahead about things but the worrying won’t get the things done. But we can’t help it because worrying just comes up in the mind.

We have to see this connection again and again that we worry about something, but in the end we have to do what we have to do and the worrying doesn’t have any connection to our success in doing it.

When we see this many, many times, we’ll start to see that the worrying is just an extra burden – it is just an activity of the mind now because the mind has not enough wisdom and no control over.

When we see that connection long enough, then the mind will drop the worrying and not do it anymore.

That’s a principle that is very useful in life because it’s everywhere.

WISDOM CHOOSES TO DO SAMATHA PRACTICE TO STOP THE EXCESSIVE THOUGHTS

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 13 (32:57-34:26)

Yogi: When I come back from work and I have a heavy mind because I have many difficult things happening, what do I do?

Sayadaw: If we do have the wrong attitude, particularly when we’re confused, sometimes it is the thinking that makes us crazy. Then, it is helpful to take a simple object and watch it continuously and don’t allow the mind to think – just being aware continuously – and that helps to calm those excessive thoughts. It is just like a concentration exercise.

When we do a concentration exercise, because we do it simply, it works.

SUSTAINING THE PRACTICE POST-RETREAT

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 14 (4:00-7:27)

Yogi: After a retreat, the practice kept on for 3 to 4 weeks, but after that, it couldn’t be sustained.

Sayadaw said the other day that if you want to do it, you have to simplify your life. I asked myself what I had to do, but realized that I couldn’t prepare for it and have to trust in the conditions.

Sayadaw: You do try to be mindful at home, but you’re saying that you can’t sustain it in the same manner as in the center beyond 3 to 4 weeks.

We know our lives best – we have to find a way that is suitable for us to sustain the practice ourselves and what works for us.

WHOLESOME MINDS NATURALLY DISPLACE THE DEFILEMENTS

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 14 (1:50:55-1:54:00)

Yogi: There was repeated sadness, but when I checked the quality of the mind and the knowing, the mind was bright, calm, strong and peaceful, and the sadness disappeared.

Sayadaw: Your awareness and samadhi are quite good – you just needed to use some wisdom by checking the condition of the rest of the mind and it made the view much clearer.

When the wholesome minds become stronger, unwholesome minds will become weaker.

Bhavana is meditation – bhavana is cultivation of all those wholesome minds. That is why we keep the wholesome minds always ready and strong so when the unwholesome minds come, they have no chance.

Just look after the wholesome minds with mindfulness.

Sayadaw: Because your mind understands what the object is – it knows how what is being seen as an object – that’s why you can use thoughts and develop samadhi.

In that case, you can use any object – for you, the thought is the same as the breath as an object.

Both options are fine.

UNDERSTANDING THINKING AS AN OBJECT

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 13 (1:31:00-1:32:08)

Yogi: When I notice a lot of thinking and the mind is not so clear, I can check the attitude and see if some defilement is feeding the restlessness, or I can focus on the thinking process which gives me the concentration not to fall into the thoughts. Are these two valid options?

Sayadaw: Because your mind understands what the object is – it knows how what is being seen as an object – that’s why you can use thoughts and develop samadhi.

In that case, you can use any object – for you, the thought is the same as the breath as an object.

Both options are fine.

MINDFULNESS NATURALLY CULTIVATES THE 4 BRAHMAVIHARAS

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 14 (26:00-29:26)

Yogi: I was doing walking meditation and saw someone sick. Immediately a caring arose. That was interesting because the cultivation of the 4 Brahmaviharas and mindfulness may have different approach but they seem to go to the same goal.

How do they come together in the mindfulness practice?

Sayadaw: It’s simple – for me, it’s cultivation of mindfulness first. The mind becomes more wholesome.

When the mind is more wholesome from mindfulness, it is readily given to the wholesome impulses of the Brahmaviharas.

When I was practicing very dedicatedly at home, I wouldn’t let any unwholesome feeling or mind stay – whenever I noticed it coming up, I would take the time to watch it until it was gone.

I did that over and over again, never getting involved in the story, always taking care of the unwholesome volitions that came up.

Unwholesome stuff was not allowed to grow and the result of keeping the mind clear like that was that if I saw other people, I felt metta for them; if I saw someone suffering, I felt compassion for them; if I saw someone doing well, I felt happy for them; and if it was a situation where I couldn’t do anything about, the mind was equanimous.

Because wisdom was there, the greed and aversion weren’t given room in my mind at all; the mindfulness would just keep at it.

START FROM WHERE WE ARE WITH SOME RIGHT INFORMATION

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 13 (35:25-38:24)

Although it is not so simple to be skillful at having the right attitude all the time – we will still have wrong attitude and we will find it difficult to observe difficult experiences – we learn from it and will become more skillful.

For example, a yogi comes to practice and he’s depressed. I give him all these information to try and get him to understand how meditation might be helpful so he is willing to practice.

Different kinds of information that we get help to settle the mind in different ways and they adjust the attitude of the mind so that it is willing to be mindful.

Although in the end, it is when the attitude is right that the most effective meditation happens, but we all start by practicing with wrong attitude.

There’s nothing wrong with that – it is still practice and we learn from it.

RECOGNIZE THE RIGHT ATTITUDE THAT GUIDES THE PRACTICE

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 15 (47:45-48:18)

Yogi: I’m doing very well. I’m learning a lot – every day and every hour I’m learning new things. I’m happy and grateful about that.

Since I’m not trying too hard, I’m less tired.

Sayadaw: Yes, meditation is not tiring when you practice right. When it gets tiring, it gets boring, tedious and challenging.

RIGHT ATTITUDE IS A MANIFESTATION OF WISDOM

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 12 (00:05-1:24)

Yogi: It’s a challenge to maintain the awareness in the kitchen especially when I’m drinking coffee and talking. But I’m neither disappointed nor angry because I recognize that it is difficult as my awareness is not strong enough to manage it.

Sayadaw: That’s right. Just accept it; it’s okay.

Practicing the Dhamma is a life-long undertaking. We don’t have to have results now. We have lots of time to keep practicing.