WHY IS SHAME SO AWFUL?

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 8 (50:00-53:17)

Yogi: Why is shame so awful? What can I do to diminish it?

Sayadaw: Because it affects the self-image. The self-image we try so hard to build is shattered momentarily and we’re afraid other people will see the shattered self-image; and so it feels awful.

We try to keep ourselves looking good and when we feel that what we have done is not good then it feels horrible.

Yogi: What do you think about laughing about the embarrassing incident afterwards?

Sayadaw: That’s like redeeming the self-image. We try to feel good again like it’s not that bad.

THE SENSE OF SELF INTENSIFIES THE DEFILEMENT

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 8 (40:15-41:20)

Yogi: When the ‘I’ was not much there, I was afraid that I would lose compassion for myself and others. But I realize that I don’t have to be afraid of that.

Sayadaw: When there is more ‘I’, there is more unwholesomeness and the mind feels more of the grief and all that are part of aversion. It experiences more of the grief; if there is less ‘I’, it feels less painful.

HOW SHOULD THE MIND INVESTIGATE?

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 4 (20:00-23:45) with Sayadaw U Tejaniya

Yogi: Today, I was lost how to look at anger – maybe I want to fix it too much.

Sayadaw: Investigate means to make us look carefully at what we’re observing; and it is not to think about or analyze what we’re observing, but just to make us observe it carefully for an extended period of time.

If you’re used to thinking, you don’t need to think now – the way you want to position the mind to observe is a curiosity, not to fix the anger, but to check what anger is, how it works and what it does.

Yogi: So, I just look at the anger and find out what it does with me in my body and mind?

Sayadaw: But just observe and not think about it. You need to observe for a long time to get answers – you need to be patient.

Yogi: I don’t have to know why I’m angry and anxious.

Sayadaw: No. First, we just need to observe it continuously.

Yogi: I find it difficult because automatically I’ll think about why I’m angry and anxious.

Sayadaw: Just acknowledge the thought and bring it back to the sensation and feeling again and again. Try to do that.

ON COMPASSION

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 8 (37:27-41:22)

Yogi: I’m confused between sadness and compassion – I’m afraid that I’ll lose compassion without sadness. Perhaps I don’t understand what compassion is because if I see someone die or get sick, it has a different flavor than simply wishing others well.

Sayadaw: What we’re used to experiencing as compassion is mixed with suffering. That suffering bit is actually aversion because we don’t want things to be that way; we would like things to be fine.

There is the wishing well for others but on the other hand, there is the non-acceptance of the situation or the grief or whatever is going on.

When it is pure compassion, compassion is a wholesome mind, then it will feel good. It can understand that there is suffering, but the mind is not suffering together with it.

Compassion alone has no sense of suffering in it.

DEALING WITH TIREDNESS

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (00:10-5:08)

Yogi: I have a problem with feeling tired at the retreat – sometimes there is aversion and other times the wanting to go to sleep. I sometimes accept it as part of being old.

Sayadaw: When we get older, it is natural to be more tired. If we do have aversion towards it, we just need to work with the aversion.

We can let the tiredness be. We won’t be able to meditate the tiredness away. If there’s a body, there will be tiredness. But we can practice so the mind is more accepting and not resisting it.

Now you are tired, that’s a result of something in the past and you can’t change the tiredness now.

But in the present moment, we have a choice of how we want to be with the mind. We can have the right view and right thought and the mind will feel better even if the body is tired.

Or, the mind can complain – it can have wrong view and wrong thought and, so, the body is tired and the mind is stressed.

In the present moment, that is the choice that the mind has. And if the mind is trained, it can be positive.

MEDITATION IS NOT TO FIX ANYTHING; MEDITATION IS TO KNOW EVERYTHING

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 4 (00:15-04:45)

Yogi: It is my habit to judge others and myself negatively and comparing myself with others. It is difficult and I don’t like it – I tried to watch but it was not nice.

Sayadaw: All the things that were happening in the mind, they are not important at all. The profit is that you were aware of everything.

Meditation is not to fix anything; meditation is to know everything. That knowing is wholesome because wisdom can grow in it.

SEEING IT AS IT IS WITHOUT INTERFERING

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (1:02:40-1:05:24)

Yogi: In the meditation pamphlet, it says to come to the sitting with a relaxed and unbiased mind.

But I realized that my universe is infiltrated with a lot of hidden agendas. It is only now, with some practice, that the window keeps opening and there is more tolerance to whatever is happening – and there is a sense of opportunity.

Yesterday, I went for a walk in the forest and there was a little bird calling from somewhere hidden. Normally, I would throw a stone to make it come out so that I could see it, but I didn’t and there was incredible joy not interfering with whatever was known.

Sayadaw: We have to understand the flavor of non-interfering and its benefit.

Yes, the unwholesome minds always want to interfere, always want to get.

TAKE CARE OF THE AWARENESS; DON’T LOOK FOR SPECIFIC OBJECTS

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 8(1:03:10-1:10:04)

Yogi: I notice that I have lots of greed. I wanted to catch it when it showed up in the body, but that couldn’t be because there was already greed to see greed. How can I heal my excessive greed?

Sayadaw: Forget about looking for greed; just be aware.

Just be aware of the present moment as it is, whatever you’re experiencing now – cold, hot or walking. Just something very simple.

Greed arises with conditions; and if we’re aware, we’ll recognize it when greed arises.

We need awareness continuously as much as possible on anything so that awareness is growing; then it’ll be ready.

THE AWARENESS MIND WILL TRANSFORM OUR LIVES

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 4 (05.35-06:04)

This knowing mind is what will transform your life – and the knowing just needs to happen a lot. 

WHEN WISDOM LEADS THE MIND

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (08:05-10:04)

Yogi: As I was walking, I realized how tricky the mind was, making me perceive things differently from what they were.

It was inspiring to see that the moment I was able to follow Sayadaw’s instructions, the mind changed and I could see clearly.

It was inspiring to see that it was actually working. It gave me more trust and it felt good not in a wanting way; and it was a relief.

Sayadaw: It is true when the practice falls into place, it brings up a lot of faith and it inspires the mind to continue, but don’t discount the previous days.

It is because the mind was trying those days, it fell into place.

CATCHING THOUGHTS

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 8 (17:40-19:16)

Yogi: I want to find out where thoughts are coming from so I can catch them. Is it important?

Sayadaw: We don’t have to know a thought quickly or in a certain way. So long as you build up awareness, awareness will catch it when the awareness is strong enough.

It is like you’re trying to do the work of awareness instead of just letting awareness do its own work.

HOME PRACTICE CAN SURPASS RETREATS

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 8 (1:23:00-1:30:15)

Yogi: While I’m more mindful in daily life, but the mind is not as calm as on retreat. At home, the mind has to do so many tasks and think about things. Is it possible to have the same calm mind in daily life?

Sayadaw: It is partly skill and partly lifestyle.

I gave up many things to maintain the steady mind – frivolous talk, gossip and everything that wasn't necessary – and I did everything that was centered around how to be mindful all day long.

How much are we willing to adjust to accommodate our mindfulness?

The calm in daily life was even better than on retreat. On retreat, the mind only gained calm, but when I started gaining momentum at home, it was not just calm, but also joy and interest. The wisdom was coming and there was so much understanding, confidence and power in the mind.

When I decided to become a monk and went to the monastery, it became so calm that I thought it couldn’t be right. I spoke to my teacher and he said I got it all on the cheap – all the samadhi came without me having to do anything because in lay life, I worked hard to maintain that level of mind so the mind was really alive – it was learning and growing.

But in the monastery, I stopped having to work hard and wasn’t progressing everyday as I was at home.

LEARNING ABOUT GREED FROM BEING AWARE

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 8 (1:19:30-1:21:20)

Yogi: For a long time, I didn’t realize that wanting nothing could also be wanting something.

Sayadaw: Greed is so sneaky – it is everywhere. Dhamma is not everywhere; greed is everywhere.

In every way, whatever we do, we believe that if we do it this way, it’ll be fine. That’s the greed, liking it to be that way.

But it is okay; this is how we learn how greed works. Through these episodes, these are the lessons that, so, greed also does that.

This is a lesson worth learning.

IT COULD BE BUSY OUTSIDE BUT THE MIND IS CALM

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 8 (12:36-15:22)

Today, I went for a walk before the sitting. When I came back in, everybody was scurrying to the Dhamma hall and there was a lot of movement in the foyer.

I walked in mindfully by being inside myself. Although my attention was inside, I could be aware of everything that was happening.

It felt like when I was working in the market – people would be busy carrying their goods around, and I would be walking between them mindfully. There was awareness and wisdom and the mind was still. It was busy outside but it didn’t feel busy or hurried to me.

If we know the stillness of the mind and we are aware of ourselves, we can maintain the awareness and the stillness of the mind because we’re more with ourselves.

It is not that we don’t know what is outside – we know what is outside and what is inside.

Although I know what is going on outside, my attention is more inside myself.

WHY IS SHAME SO AWFUL?

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 8 (50:00-53:17)

Yogi: Why is shame so awful? What can I do to diminish it?

Sayadaw: Because it affects the self-image. The self-image we try so hard to build is shattered momentarily and we’re afraid other people will see the shattered self-image; and so it feels awful.

We try to keep ourselves looking good and when we feel that what we have done is not good then it feels horrible.

Yogi: What do you think about laughing about the embarrassing incident afterwards?

Sayadaw: That’s like redeeming the self-image. We try to feel good again like it’s not that bad.