ACKNOWLEDGING THE MIND THAT IS NOT HAPPY

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group A+B 14 January 2023 (1:05:45-1:13:33)

Yogi: I wish to confirm if I’m practicing correctly. I observed the awareness while doing walking and sitting meditation. When I became drowsy during sitting and noticed the body bending forward during the sit, I would straighten up the body.

I then tried to observe what drowsiness was, but couldn’t find out anything. I felt very pleasant when I sat straight up and I could even hear Sayadaw’s recording very clearly.

I felt that I couldn’t really see the mind despite noticing all these happenings, and am not happy with what I have achieved.

Sayadaw: Your mind has a judgment about your progress. Can you continue to keep observing that because that is the first thing you need to work with?

Be happy with yourself for recognizing that your mind is not happy and keep knowing that.

Noticing that you’re unhappy means that you’re knowing your mind. That’s your doorway to recognizing the rest of your mind. Please keep doing that.

Yogi: During my sitting, I feel drowsy but when I sit straight up I know that the defilement is there and I want to watch but I couldn’t see the flavor of the drowsiness. When I sit straight up, the pleasantness is already there. I go back to the mind to try to watch other sensations of the body. Then, I just do not know how already.

Sayadaw: You need to recognize what you’re doing. There are not enough effort and wisdom when we’re drowsy. You can see that in the state of drowsiness, you could not observe defilements – so, you already recognize that the wisdom is not very good when you’re drowsy. And then you sat up straight – that’s increasing your effort and you felt more pleasant and you’re less drowsy, right?

You have to acknowledge the things you’re doing – you can be satisfied with what you’re doing. We need to change this mindset of thinking that what we’re doing is not enough.

NOTICE WHEN WE’RE AWARE WITH THE WRONG ATTITUDE

Singapore Q&A 4.7.2023 (13:43-15:33)

Yogi: One morning I was mindfully doing my housework. Not long after, an agitation arose and it lasted the whole day.

Sometimes when I meditate, I do get this agitation too. I stopped and watched this agitation, but it is hard for me to watch it.

Sayadaw: Awareness is not difficult; you can see that this experience is happening.

It is hard means that you cannot get what you want. You want the agitation to go away, right?

It is never hard to be aware because knowing that this is happening and that is happening is very obvious.

Hard means that you want to get rid of the agitation but you cannot get it.

To be aware of the suffering experience is not hard because you already know.

Everybody’s question now is that awareness is the problem. We’re aware, aware, aware, but it is not working. It means that we’re aware with the wrong attitude.

MAKE USE OF DEFILEMENTS TO CULTIVATE SATI, SAMADHI AND PANNA

Singapore Q&A 10.7.2023 (0:36-2:52)

Yogi: Whenever I see defilement, I can’t help but want to get rid of it.

Sayadaw: Don’t judge nature. Defilement is not good but it is also nature. We have to understand the nature of defilement.

First, we need to understand that defilement is nobody, it is nature. Craving is just craving, it is nature; anger is also nature. Getting rid of defilement is much later.

Every time defilement arises, you need to remind yourself that this is nature and I want to understand this nature of the defilement.

You need to appreciate the awareness every time defilement comes. Why? We can cultivate sati, samadhi and panna because of the defilement.

You can use this object to cultivate the quality of the awareness. If you think this way, you will not resist the defilement too much.

AS THE PRACTICE MATURES

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group B 12 January 2023 (2:11:50-2:12:30)

Yogi: The way I practice being aware now is different from the past. In the past, I would hold on and try to be right.

Now, when aversion happens, the awareness is just to be with the aversion. And even with the wrong attitude, the awareness can be with the wrong attitude instead of trying to be right.

Sayadaw: Good improvement.

RIGHT ATTITUDE TOWARDS FEAR

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group A+B 16 January 2023 (1:41:48-1:44:50)

Yogi: I’m always fearful of overlooking something especially when the mind is not alert. That creates fear and doubt about what if I miss something. Because it is constantly present, my mind is always effortful not to be in that state. It is more obvious when I meditate, but it also happens in daily life.

Sayadaw: When you’re afraid, fear destabilizes the mind and you’re more likely to make mistakes when the mind is not stable.

So, it is not necessary to be afraid and it doesn’t help your mission not to miss out on something.

Whenever you notice fear, recognize there is fear and be happy about it. And if you recognize this fear very often, over and over again, eventually the mind will figure out something about the fear, about whether it is helpful or necessary or not for you.

KEEP ON PRACTICING

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group A+B 16 January 2023 (1:29:42-1:30:55)

Yogi: Sometimes when the mind is overwhelmed and it hears the Dhamma and the information is accepted or when some questions arise which settle the mind, my attitude shifts and it can directly observe happenings in the mind calmly.

I realize that it depends on how skillful the mind is in facing the situation and learning how to deal with it.

Sometimes it is about changing the object and other times it could be the right information, asking the right questions or even letting it be and the mind can change.

Sayadaw: Yes, that’s right. So, it doesn’t matter what you do; all of that is practice.

CHANGING AN OLD HABIT

Singapore Q&A 10.7.2023 (3:00-4:16)

Yogi: When I practice, my habit is to push myself until I break down. I know it’s a habit I really have to change, but I cannot let go.

Sayadaw: There’s no need to let go; just be aware. Every time this habit arises, just recognize that it is happening, and do it repeatedly.

Your responsibility is to be aware of this. Don’t try to change – we’re not trying to create anything.

Every time this habit arises, just try to be aware – that’s enough. After a while, the mind learns and understands something. Because of understanding, then this habit can change.

WHEN NOTHING SEEMS RIGHT

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group B 12 January 2023 (31:47-35:25)

Yogi: Lately, my meditation has not been satisfying. I tried to watch but there was a big aversion. There was aversion in the mind, aversion in the attitude and aversion everywhere.

Usually what I do is stop meditating or just walk and continue to walk. When the mind settles down, I can proceed. Is that okay?

Sayadaw: That’s what you need to do.

Yogi: Sometimes I cannot separate the watching mind and the attitude when both have dosa; and I get totally confused when the mind notices so many things..

Sayadaw: It’s like a principle that if the bad feeling is escalating, stop everything. At that time, the mind is too involved and the right thing is to stop trying.

PRACTICING OUT OF THE CUSHION IS A DIFFERENT SKILL

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group B 12 January 2023 (2:15:30-2:18:56)

Yogi: The mind could be very stable for 3 hours of sitting and walking, but when I left the hall for half an hour, the mind was totally not mindful even though I reminded myself to be mindful before I left. I only remembered to be aware when I was back in the hall.

What actually happened in between?

Sayadaw: There was the intention to be mindful but no habit.

Some people remember they have the intention to be mindful and that’s the last thing they remember and there is no more awareness until the awareness comes back much later.

It’s the same with eating meditation. Before they start to eat, they remind themselves that they’ll be mindful while eating and the next thing they remember is when they’re full after eating. But they’re totally not mindful while they’re eating.

IS WATCHING THE BODY A SAMATHA PRACTICE?

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group A+B 16 January 2023 (1:24:19-1:27:15)

Yogi: I want to clarify the definition of kayanupassana, observing the body. Is observing the body similar to a samatha practice?

Sayadaw: Yes, they are similar. Actually, kayanupassana are samatha exercises.

The beginning exercises of kayanupassana are all samatha exercises. When you incline your mind towards vipassana, when the mind understands that rupa is also just nature, then even when you’re doing a kayanupassana exercise, it becomes dhammanupassana because of the understanding.

It is not the object which matters; it is how you understand it. So, when you still see it as a concept, yes, it is kayanupassana.

Yogi: Practice based on the concept is a samatha practice, but when the body is seen as reality, then it becomes vipassana. Is that right?

Sayadaw: You don’t want to break up your meditation practice into technical categories like that. Just keep in mind that when you’re practicing samatha your goal is a certain thing and when you practice vipassana your goal is another thing.

WHAT CAN MOTIVATE OUR MINDS TO PRACTICE AT HOME?

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group A+B 16 January 2023 (0:57:20-1:00:45)

Yogi: I’m inspired by Sayadaw always advocating awareness at home and that Sayadaw’s home practice surpassed retreat practice.

What is Sayadaw’s advice when the mind is not interested in the Dhamma at home where the external worldly pleasures are more entertaining?

Sayadaw: I was practically forced into practicing at home because just like you whenever I left retreat I wasn’t interested in practicing at home. It was only when I was super depressed and took a break to go on retreat with my teacher, that I had some experiences that finally gave me the motivation to make the effort.

I didn’t start off at full speed, just bit by bit.

What helped me was the lack of wrong attitude towards practice – as long as I was practicing, it was enough.

We all need some motivation and sometimes suffering is that motivation.

HOW MUCH CONCENTRATION IS NEEDED TO PRACTICE AWARENESS

Singapore Q&A 4.7.2023 (27:30-27:59)

Yogi: How much concentration do we need to practice?

Sayadaw: If you know the object, that is enough concentration. You cannot know the object if you don’t have the concentration.

Momentary concentration is enough to practice vipassana meditation.

If you know the object, you already have samadhi. If you continue to be aware, this samadhi will increase. You don’t need too much concentration to practice vipassana.

RESTLESSNESS ARISING FROM DISCONTENT

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group B 12 January 2023 (1:23:58-1:30:53)

Yogi: With restlessness, I cannot be aware at all – I couldn’t figure out except for wanting to do this and that and fidgeting. Everything doesn’t seem right and I couldn’t be aware at all.

The mind refused to do breath or walking practice either. I notice that the restlessness carries energy different from the monkey mind; it drives the intention to do this and that.

It only ceased when the mind got what it wanted, and I was so surprised.

How do I watch restlessness because I see so much resistance?

Sayadaw: You say restlessness but I recognize discontent.

You said that you couldn’t be aware of anything, but in fact, you were aware of everything.

You were only discontent because you couldn’t get want you wanted, which is to be still and know something for an extended period of time. You only deem that to be awareness and meditation.

It is discontent and not restlessness because you said when you got what you wanted the restlessness stopped.

To say that you couldn’t be aware is not true; it is only that you didn’t like that you were aware in a disconnected way.

You were judging the awareness by the continuity of the object that you were observing rather than recognizing that awareness was happening whenever you knew the experience.

Yogi: But the awareness was not clear in that state.

Sayadaw: In fact, you are knowing it very well that the mind is not clear. So, see it as it is.

CLARIFYING A WRONG IDEA

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group A+B 16 January 2023 (1:14:31-1:17:25)

Yogi: I understand from a teacher that some of us are born with 2 roots which are sati and samadhi and some with the complete 3 roots – sati, samadhi and panna. Those with 2 roots cannot gain any insight or realization in this life because of the absence of panna.

Sayadaw: The roots are lobha, dosa and moha and alobha, adosa and amoha. Those who are considered 2 roots don’t have the amoha or panna root.

Even yogis with 2 roots can develop nana in this life, only that they cannot be enlightened.

I know of a lady yogi who was a little mentally challenged; she was inspired to practice when she met me, and she practiced a lot and became more peaceful. She could understand that the Dhamma is valuable and that is a kind of panna.

Yogi: It is really reassuring because when I heard it, it got me concerned that perhaps I only have 2 roots.

Sayadaw: No, no. It’s cruel to say that somebody couldn’t develop even some basic understanding in this life.

OPEN AWARENESS IS THE RESULT, NOT THE PRACTICE

Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary Retreat Zoom Q&A Group A+B 16 January 2023 (1:17:35-1:18:48)

Yogi: I hear that Sayadaw teaches open awareness practice. Is it true?

Sayadaw: Let’s get this straight – I don’t teach open awareness. Other people give that word to what is being taught and have labeled it as such.

I’m saying when the mind gets to the point when there is momentum and there is awareness of awareness, when the mind recognizes the awareness, then it will find that its field of awareness is very open and it is aware of any object that arises.

That’s how I put it, in a full description with preconditions like you have momentum; I don’t teach people to try to be like that.

Yogi: I have the impression that open awareness came from Sayadaw.

Sayadaw: No, it is the label that other people give my practice.