THE Excerpts: 1651—1700

Collected from the talks and discussions of Sayadaw U Tejaniya. Compiled by Chiu Sheng Bin.

Yogi: When I’m aware of the sensation in the leg, the mind starts to think about walking on alms round with Sayadaw.

Sayadaw: Try to notice whatever is happening in the mind, whatever the mind says; just notice. Know what the mind is doing with awareness.

It is important not to lose the awareness. If you’re thinking, into the concept, it is easy to lose the awareness.

Take care of the awareness.

Sayadaw: Take care of the quality of your awareness. We don’t care if the experience is suffering or peaceful. So what if the experience is peaceful! Is the awareness working?

Yogi: Is right attitude the quality of awareness?

Sayadaw: Can you see your awareness? Is it blurred or awake? Do you see?

Yogi: Yes.

Sayadaw: That is the quality of awareness.

When I was conducting a retreat in Hong Kong, I saw many yogis practicing tai chi in the morning. I encouraged them to be aware while practicing.

Physical exercise supports our practice; when we practice tai chi, we’re very aware of ourselves. We only need to change the direction of the mind to ‘no me, no I’.

We just change our attitude (from paying attention to ourselves to being aware of the mind and bodily sensations).

When you come out of the meditation hall and the mind is very calm and peaceful, see if you can maintain the same quality of mind when you’re eating.

If the mind state is the same, then you’re skillful at practicing. Even when you’re not sitting and meditating, moving all the time, yet your samadhi can be calm and peaceful. Try.

[samadhi : calmness, stillness or stability of mind]

Yogi: Fear arises when the mind thinks about what to do when I cannot walk anymore. I should prepare for it, but how to prepare?

Sayadaw: You prepare by practicing with minor sicknesses. You must have the right view, right thought, and awareness with every minor illness so that when a big sickness comes, you can apply what you have learnt.

Kisa Gotami went crazy with grief over the loss of her child and approached the Buddha for help. The Buddha reminded her, "Be mindful." The Buddha could only help by reminding her.

Once, I got totally lost in anger. I hit the chair, punched the wall, and broke my hand. When my sister reminded me about my practice, immediately, awareness came back together with powerful wisdom. The mind understood very well the nature of anger and how it affected everybody.

Yogi: I notice that I have forgotten all my previous insights. They can’t help me now.

Sayadaw: Why do you forget? It is because defilement has already occupied the mind.

Yogi: I’m so busy; so much into the conceptual world.

Sayadaw: That is why we need to practice in daily life.

Yogi: I noticed that when I was sick, there was aversion in the mind, and I was totally involved with the sickness.

Sayadaw: Why does the mind react immediately when the body is sick?

Because when you’re healthy, delusion says it is good, and you naturally enjoy it. So, when you’re sick, the mind reacts immediately.

Yogi: I fully understand the function of the mind, but why is it that the ‘I’ is still here? Why can’t I be free from the self?

Sayadaw: Because your understanding is not enough; if it is enough, then your work is finished.

We need to collect the experience of non-self every day. How many times do you understand non-self each day? The idea of self is more frequent, right?

Yogi: In this retreat, day by day, I’m more committed to the practice.

Sayadaw: You practice the whole day when you’re here, right? This is living life.

If someone knows how to practice and understands mindfulness meditation well, they should apply it in their life. If they cannot apply in their life, they still don’t understand the practice well.

Life is the six sense doors happening. We call life happening; life is bhava or becoming.

Our mental and physical processes are always happening.

Meditation in life is awareness arising together with our mental and physical processes. It also means living life, or the art of living.

When we see both the awareness and the experience, a witness is present. This witness is actually wisdom. Without wisdom, we cannot see the separation of minds.

This is inferential wisdom – just as we may not see the rain itself, but upon noticing flowing water and puddles, we deduce that it has rained. The mind can perceive cause through effect.

Yogi: It is easy to practice in the meditation hall, but very difficult in my room because the defilements are present whenever I’m in my room.

Sayadaw: Why difficult, why easy? It is because you only practice in the hall and not in your room.

For me, practicing in daily life was easier than practicing sitting quietly. When I sat, my mind wandered a lot.

During work, the mind was very aware, awake, and alert; it was very busy to be aware.

Yogi: I notice that it is easier for defilements to arise in my room.

Sayadaw: Use them as objects. If you use the defilements as objects, daily life practice is more interesting. It is not interesting without defilements!

Find out by yourself how to practice in daily life as well as you practice in the Dhamma Hall. Think for yourself.

Don’t ask me; find out for yourself. It is more interesting that way.

My teacher only taught me at the center – nobody taught me how to practice in daily life, and I had to figure it out for myself. So, try to find out for yourself.

Yogi: I don’t understand why the defilements are harder to arise in the Dhamma Hall as compared to daily life.

Sayadaw: It is because you’re not paying much attention to the outside world in the Dhamma Hall. In daily life, we pay a lot of attention outside.

That is why, in daily life, you need to be skillful in your 6 sense doors. Here, you only have the body sensations and the mind.

[Dhamma Hall aka Meditation Hall]

Yogi: If the object is very strong, even though we use a neutral object, the mind gets pulled into it. What shall we do?

Sayadaw: Keep on bringing the mind back to the neutral object repeatedly, back and forth.

Or, we can use the samatha way - e.g., Buddhanusatti or metta – to settle the mind.

At that time, try to practice any way, either samatha or vipassana. Don’t surrender totally; try as much as you can.

[Buddhanusatti : contemplation of the Buddha’s virtues]

[metta : loving-kindness, selfless love, unconditional love]

[samatha : tranquility meditation, concentration meditation]

[vipassana : insight, insight meditation]

Yogi: I watched a strong defilement. There was resistance, but the mind was stable. The defilement was still strong.

Sayadaw: Don’t push; use a neutral object, but keep the defilement process at a distance. Don’t push to do something about the defilement or focus on the defilement.

Yogi: What neutral object?

Sayadaw: Some sensation that the mind can accept. Use it to stay aware; don’t get lost in the defilement. It is better to be aware in any way to build up the awareness with a neutral object.

The better way is to use a neutral object and not face the defilement directly. If you look at it directly, it becomes serious; if you watch a neutral object with the defilement in the background, it is less serious.

Yogi: If a yogi has not practiced for a long time, how can he jump-start his practice?

Sayadaw: Start from zero. Take my case: As a layperson, I had practiced for many years in the monastery, but did not practice at home. When I had depression, I started simply from the very beginning, guided by my knowledge of how to meditate.

Yogi: Because an experienced yogi already knows how to practice, it is easier for him to pick up the practice again.

Sayadaw: Yes.

If there is suffering thinking and you try to be aware, the defilement thinking reduces because you’re busy being aware.

It is easier to be aware of the defilement through the suffering feeling.

You use the feeling as the object first. Don’t try to be aware of thinking because it is easy for you to get lost in thought.

Yogi: The mind cannot see the resistance to the pain and tiredness.

Sayadaw: But you can know, can’t you?

Yogi: Yes, but there is more reaction. It tries to look for the resistance, but the mind cannot see it.

Sayadaw: Cannot see? Cannot know? You can know, but you cannot see it as an object.

You just need to cultivate this knowing – knowing, knowing. Just notice about knowing. You try to practice knowing. Knowing, knowing, and knowing.

Ask: Can the mind know? Just reminding.

Yogi: I saw an old lady carrying a baby outside a house yesterday; I looked into the baby's eyes and was immediately drawn to them. The meditating mink appeared, and I could step back.

Today, when I passed by the house, the memory of the old lady with the baby appeared.

Sayadaw: The object and mind are related. The memory arises from a familiar object, such as a place.

The mind doesn’t happen all the time; it arises because of some trigger. (Sayadaw mentions elsewhere: the arammanika is the mind that is dependent on the arammana, the object.)

Yogi: What is yoniso manasikara (wise attention)?

Sayadaw: It is right thinking. It means that you have the right information and you use it to think the right way. We call that yoniso manasikara.

If you don’t have wisdom or the right information, then it is ayoniso manasikara because the motivations are delusion and craving. 

Ayoniso manasikara is moha because wrong view is moha.

[moha: delusion, ignorance, not understanding, not seeing reality]

Yogi: Once, I was chanting before lunch and saw that the words came from the mind.

Sayadaw: Because of memory and thinking, you could chant in your thoughts.

Yogi: I didn’t remember, but because we did it every day, the words came out on their own.

Sayadaw: You didn’t try to remember, but because of chanting every day, it was already in your memory.

Sanna (perception or memory) is working well – memory is strong due to repetition.

Yogi: The problem with old-timer yogis is that when they restart the practice, they always want the wisdom.

Sayadaw: Yes, they really have to start step by step.

Relax and remind ourselves; that’s all we can do.

The more relaxed we are, the more awareness can work.

Yogi: Reminding about what?

Sayadaw: Reminding to be aware of yourself.

When the defilement is very strong and I cannot face it, I’ll choose an object that the mind can accept. I listen to music at that time – I can be aware of this because the mind likes it.

You have to use your wisdom to change the direction of the mind. Sometimes, we can use the wrong concentration.

I would play a game on my hand phone and focus on it. I used the wrong concentration for only a short time. Because of interest, I can focus, and the mind settles down. Using the right attitude, I would then change the object – the samadhi changes from wrong to right concentration.

[samadhi : calmness, stillness or stability of mind]

Yogi: When the mind is not peaceful, I come back to one object to calm the mind.

Sayadaw: No, we’re not meditating to calm the mind; we’re trying to be aware. We’re not aiming for a stable mind. Our aim is to know and continue to know, not to try to get calm.

Peacefulness is not our goal; our goal is awareness.

Yogi: So, when I’m restless, I stay aware of it?

Sayadaw: Yes, use restlessness as the object. It is a good object because it is obvious.

Yogi: When I saw the cake, craving pushed me to eat it. But when I noticed it, I didn’t eat the cake.

Sayadaw: There is no need to stop eating; reduce the momentum as if applying the brakes. Don’t stop eating.

We’re not trying to stop eating; we’re trying to be aware. If you’re aware, the momentum of the craving reduces.

Some new yogis are unable to change their attitude towards defilements. When they try to face and think about the defilement intellectually, they already resist it unconsciously.

They should not do it because it is not only difficult, but later the defilement wins. The mind at the unconscious level is very powerful.

That is why you don’t use the defilement object. When you have the strength later, you slowly face it a little bit and come back to a neutral object.

Whenever defilement comes and you notice it, that is enough; go to some other object.

What a monk told me is good information for your practice, yogis. Sometimes, a thought arises, and he will follow it, and that leads to doing something wrong.

Do you notice that when your mind says something, your action follows? How many times do you notice it throughout the day?

This process happens the whole day long. Whatever you talk or do arises from your idea, right? The mind says something, and action follows – thinking and action.

Yogi: I close my eyes, and when I open and focus on something, sometimes a name appears, but other times, no name arises because I don’t have the information.

Sayadaw: This is also a type of mental activity. You should know this process – how the mind is working. If awareness is present, you know how the mind works.

Every time you see or hear, the process is already happening – it happens all the time.

Yogi: If the object attracts more defilement, is it the wrong object?

Sayadaw: Yes, it is the wrong practice. If awareness increases, it is the right practice.

You’re watching with the wrong view if the defilement increases. You should not use this object as your meditation object at that time.

For example, if you watch the person who makes you angry, your mind will get more and more angry. Or, if you use pain or suffering feeling as the object, and more pain arises, at that time, you should not use it as the meditation object because the mind cannot accept this object.

You use an object that the mind is neutral towards to build up the strength of awareness. When the mind settles down, you can slowly face the defilement object.

Yogi: If there is still awareness but the defilement is strong…

Sayadaw: I see that your mind has wisdom because you can clearly see what is happening. So just maintain your awareness and wisdom. That is good enough; the object is not important.

Yogi: So, even if awareness is continuous, but the defilement still increases, it means that it is the wrong practice?

Sayadaw: It is still wrong practice. It is watching with the wrong idea or wrong view. That is why the defilement is increasing.

Some beginners cannot change their attitude and if they try to think intellectually while facing the defilement, unconsciously their mind resists it. You should not do this.

Later, the defilement wins; it will overwhelm the mind because the unconscious mind is more powerful.

That is why you shouldn’t use this object. When the mind has the strength, then you can slowly face the object.

Yogi: When I wake up in the morning, a mind still wants to continue sleeping. But there is a knowing mind, very clear, that is not sleepy.

There are two minds – the awareness mind is separate from the sleepy mind.

Sayadaw: Yes, some yogis can see the defilement and the awareness watching the defilement. Actually, there are 3 minds because there is a witness of the defilement and the awareness.

The witness mind is in effect wisdom, yet there is the idea of self because we can also identify with the wisdom mind.

Yogi: In the meditation hall, I can practice better. There is more craving to eat and to do this and that during daily activities.

Sayadaw: There are more obvious objects during daily activities, right? Awareness can become better and better.

Why do you say that your awareness is not good? Because you think that calmness is better. It may not be peaceful when you practice, but you can still cultivate a lot of awareness.

You like calmness; so, you think calmness is good, and your meditation is good.

No, it is when awareness improves that meditation is good. You can get more understanding from awareness, not from calmness.

Calmness leads to drowsiness.

Sayadaw: Your mind is easily agitated; so, you must understand the nature of agitation.

What is agitation? Ask, but don’t think further; watch.

When the mind is unstable due to restlessness or agitation, you need to take care of it first and attend to other things later.

Yogi: When I sat and meditated, the image of my ex-boss appeared, and I felt agitated.

Sayadaw: This object is not suitable for you because it is not peaceful.

Yogi: I remind myself that the heart beating faster and the body getting hotter are natural processes; they are bodily sensations and not my feelings.

Sayadaw: You already know that body sensations are the mind. It is the same with agitation; can’t you understand that it is the mind too?

Many people, when watching agitation gets more restless because they don’t like the agitation.

When you watch agitation, is the mind neutral?

Yogi: How to develop the wisdom to prepare ourselves for death, when we grow old and fall sick?

Sayadaw: You already know that the awareness is weak and easily lost when you’re sick; so, what should you do?

Make it a habit to build up the momentum of your awareness to bring in the right view or wisdom.

Whenever I’m sick, the mind is more settled because it already understands what is the object and that there is nobody there. The understanding is present, and also the object is obvious (difficult sensations are obvious) - there is no need to force to be aware because awareness comes itself. And, the mind is not interested in the things outside.

Right view is present together with awareness and samadhi.

Yogi: When I think ‘What if I cannot walk anymore’, fear arises.

Sayadaw: Because of wrong view, wrong thought arises.

Whatever happens in the body is nature, and there is nobody there. You don’t need to try to meditate because meditation is already happening.

Normal people get angry when they’re sick because of wrong view. They want to be good; actually, the biggest problem is the wanting to be good.

[samadhi : calmness, stillness or stability of mind]

Yogi: Once, I saw the anger mind and noticed it was clearly the thinking that caused it. And, also, the angry feeling arose.

It was the defilement and the thinking mind working together - there is nothing wrong with it, but the feeling is still present.

Sayadaw: That should be the case, because of the presence of the defilement, the feeling must be there.

It is nature – if defilement is present, suffering will also be there. Every time defilement comes, suffering feeling comes together with it. This is cause and effect.

Because of akusala mind, suffering feeling arises – this is nature (not personal).

[akusala : kammically unwholesome, unskillful, unprofitable]

Actually, every time the mind thinks that the experience is good or nice, attachment is already there. The subconscious mind is already enjoying the experience if you’re not aware of it.

If you don’t notice, delusion accompanies the happening, and at the subconscious level, we’re enjoying it.

That is why the mind automatically resists the experience when we’re sick.

Every time the mind reacts, just notice; that is enough.

When we hear ourselves saying that everything is okay and there is no problem, it is the work of delusion. We must be aware of this, or else attachment and enjoyment will arise at the subconscious level.

Sometimes when I wake up, and my mind is clear, and the energy and feeling are good, the mind says ‘nice’. Immediately, wisdom notices and stops the thought because it is delusion working.

Actually, each time the mind thinks it is good or nice, enjoyment arises. And, if we’re not aware, unconsciously, the mind gets attached. That is why when we’re sick, our mind immediately resists the experience.

Just notice every time you realize it; that's enough. 

Yogi: How can I be better aware of agitation?

Sayadaw: Just be more interested in this agitation; for example, how does it happen, why does it happen, and what is agitation?

Be aware of it; pay more attention to it than to other objects.

You already understand about feelings; it is the same with agitation.

Agitation is just the mind, not your agitation.

Yogi: During this morning’s sit, the mind became peaceful and still, and then, it turned drowsy, and awareness was totally lost.

Sayadaw: This commonly happens for yogis. Usually, lobha wants to enjoy when the mind is peaceful and calm – it is an old habit that we have developed, wanting to enjoy ourselves when we feel peaceful.

Remind yourself to be aware of lobha the next time it arises. Also, when we’re satisfied with the experience, naturally, the effort to watch declines – we enjoy and sloth and torpor will arise.

If we don’t see enjoyment and declining effort happening at the subtle mind, slowly, it will occupy our mind, and we will become drowsy.

You can prepare what to do the next time now that you know.

Be careful when the mind is peaceful. I always remind yogis not to go to the object, but to stay with the awareness. If you notice the awareness, it means that it is still working, and you can handle the peacefulness.

If you’re more aware of the object, then you don’t know what is happening in the mind.

[lobha: greed, any kind of craving or liking]

Yogi: I understand that there is only nama and rupa (mind-bodily) process, but my experience is like ‘I can know’.

Sayadaw: ‘I can know’ is only an idea, not direct experience.

Yogi: Many years ago, I had depression and was always focusing on the defilement – I could see many images that normal people couldn’t see. Now, I understand that it is wrong concentration.

Sayadaw: It is not good to repeatedly practice in this manner. You could apply this sometimes during difficulty, but if you use it repeatedly, defilements become stronger.

You must have wisdom to use the right object.

Yogi: The awareness can be aware of an object, but after some time, I get bored because I want to see something new.

Sayadaw: Wanting to see something new is lobha. If you don’t notice that it is lobha, it will occupy the mind. But if you recognize that it is lobha, then it will not bother the mind.

[lobha : greed, any kind of craving or liking]

Yogi: When the mind says to pay attention to reality, it only notices seeing and not the things I see.

Sayadaw: When you’re fully aware of the mental and physical process, the things we see (the concept) don’t arise.

Once, I was at home during Chinese New Year, and the lion dance was performing outside. Some people in the house continued to talk while others went to look. I asked, 'Why do they go and look?' It is because they’re not very interested in the conversation. If the mind is not fully here, it will go to the outside object easily.

If you’re fully aware and interested in the conversation, the sound outside cannot affect the mind at all. But if you’re not interested, you won’t pay much attention to the conversation, and your mind gets distracted easily. The outside object has become more obvious, and it is easy to follow the object.

Yogi: I heard a person saying, ‘This is nice.’

Sayadaw: This is thinking. He’s just thinking; it is his idea, not from direct experience. It is not true.

How do we say ‘nice’ when the process is always changing?

[dukkha : 

a) unsatisfactoriness, pain, suffering 

b) the suffering in change 

c) the unsatisfactory nature of all existence, of all conditioned phenomena 

d) one of the three universal characteristics of existence (see anicca and anatta), understanding dukkha is a liberating insight (paññā)]

[sukha : happiness]

Yogi: When I’m aware, the mind is stable, but when it goes into thinking, I get tired with a headache.

Sayadaw: It is not because of thinking; thinking is not the defilement. Thinking is thinking; defilement is defilement.

But, a lot of thinking is defilement thinking – it makes you tired.

Yogi: What is defilement thinking?

Sayadaw: Suffering feeling; be more aware of the suffering feeling. However, feeling is not actually a defilement, but rather the effect of defilement.

If the thinking is suffering and you try to be aware, then defilement thinking reduces because you’re busy being aware.

Yogi: Shwe Oo Min Sayadawgi said that we create our own suffering. For example, when we say ‘I’m worried what people think of me’; actually, it is our own thinking, not what others think.

Sayadaw: That is right; it is your own problem – you create your suffering.

Yogi: Do right attitude and interest belong to the thinking?

Sayadaw: Thinking mind is one nature, wisdom (manifested as interest and right attitude) is a different nature.

Thinking is neutral, but defilement and wholesome minds can come together with thinking. It then arises as either wholesome thinking or unwholesome thinking.

Wholesome thinking and unwholesome thinking are different. So, right attitude and interest don’t belong to thinking; they have different nature.

Yogi: I feel that my awareness is too much.

Sayadaw: Awareness is never too much; it is too much effort.

You need to know how much effort you use. If you know the energy of effort, then you can balance the effort when you’re aware.

Now, you can balance it because you already know that it is too much.

Yogi: I should relax and reduce the effort?

Sayadaw: When you notice that you’re applying too much effort, then the mind can relax.

Yogi: If the mind is too alert, it means that there is too much effort. At that time, the mind becomes restless and more thoughts arise.

Sayadaw: When there is too much effort, the mind becomes agitated, and it gets into thinking.

Yogi: When I gave the monkeys food, I wanted them to appreciate and take it. But the monkeys didn’t take it.

I noticed that there was expectation, and the mind was not happy.

We could say it is giving, but there is a craving motivation too.

Sayadaw: Good. Try to know something about the process – it could be the quality of mind, or the idea and motivation. This is also very important in real life – you need to know your attitude, be it good or bad intention.