Questions about practice – II

Sayadaw: Are you aware of your awareness? Do you always recognize that awareness is present?

Yogi: Yes, but I have to make a conscious effort to check that it is there.

Sayadaw: Good, first check whether the awareness is stable, whether you are always aware and present. Once you feel that you are aware and present, try to recognize that awareness. Then try to see whether you recognize the attitudes that are present in that awareness.

Yogi: OK. Now I feel like the awareness is looking through a microscope.

Sayadaw: How much does your awareness actually know? Does it only know your body sensations, or does the awareness also notice your thoughts and your feelings?

Yogi: If it is good, the awareness is sort of panoramic.

Sayadaw: When you are aware of body sensations, thoughts, feelings, and other activities of the mind, can you also see how they are interrelated, how they influence each other? When the mind is thinking something, how does that affect your feelings and your body sensations? When you have certain body sensations, how does that change or influence the feelings and the thoughts?

When you ask yourself any of these questions, your mind is introducing wisdom into the situation. You don’t need to find answers; simply asking such questions awakens the wisdom. You are introducing new software so to speak. Have you noticed the difference in quality of your mind when you are aware and when you are not aware?

Yogi: Yes.

Sayadaw: It is very important that you recognize these things for yourself. Noticing these differences for yourself helps you to recognize and appreciate the value of awareness. When you can appreciate the value of awareness, you will also slowly start appreciating the value of understanding, of wisdom. You need to see clearly what difference the quality of awareness makes in your life, and you also need to be able to appreciate the benefits you get from wisdom. Once you understand all this, you will practise wholeheartedly.

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Yogi: It seems to me that when I am observing awareness, clarity of mind is the result. Then that becomes the object. I think that is why I was having trouble distinguishing between the observing and the clarity of mind.

Sayadaw: Yes, the clarity of mind and the practising itself are different things.

Yogi: I noticed two different experiences of observing. One where the observing feels like there is a distance between the observing and the object, the other one feels like there is no separation, there is simply observation of what there is.

Sayadaw: These are just two perspectives of the same experience. In the first one you notice the fundamentally different natures of the object and the observing. Because they function in different ways you notice their difference. In the second perspective you see that in fact these different functions are happening together. The second perspective is more natural. With the first one, i.e. when we see a separation, there is a degree of conceptualisation of our experience.

Yogi: Yes, that makes sense. I noticed that the second one is happening when the mind is quiet and balanced.

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Yogi: What’s the best thing to do when the mind becomes really quiet?

Sayadaw: Don’t try to look into the quietness but stay with the mind that is aware.

Yogi: The mind tends to get attached to and somehow entangled with the quietness.

Sayadaw: When that happens you are not meditating anymore. You are enjoying a mind state. Your attention needs to be on the awareness and not on the object. You need to check whether there is still awareness of what’s happening and — equally important — whether there is right view.

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Yogi: Who or what is aware of all my experiences; the seeing, hearing, etc.? I have a sense of something that is receiving all this, of something that is aware of what is happening. Is that true?

Sayadaw: Isn’t it? Who do you think it is? You know that there is awareness and that this is aware of what is happening, don’t you?

Yogi: I don’t know. When I am seeing or feeling things I feel a sense of awareness of self. It is just part of my experience, moment to moment.

Sayadaw: OK, that’s fine.

Yogi: So, is there somewhere to look? Is there a place of awareness?

Sayadaw: It is already seen; you don’t need to do anything deliberately. If you try to do something deliberately, this quality will disappear. Awareness is one of many qualities or functions of the mind. Just keep observing mental activities, and your understanding of all these processes will grow.

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Yogi: I occasionally experience a state of clear, pure awareness. When that happens, other objects are a little more in the background. The observing mind too is a little in the background. The observing mind is a bit confused whether to pay attention to this clarity, to just rest in it or to pay attention to objects.

Sayadaw: The most important thing to do is to keep recognizing the observing mind and to understand that everything else is there with it — whether in the background or not.

Yogi: It seems that there is nothing happening except pure experience.

Sayadaw: That’s it, just know that. Who is it happening to? What is pure experience?

Yogi: Experiencing body sensations primarily and then thoughts come in…

Sayadaw: You can continue recognizing that these things are happening and that all of them are being known by the mind. Are they constant or are they in flux?

Yogi: They are continuously there and they are constantly changing.

Sayadaw: OK, can you see which part of your experience is physical and which part is mental?

Yogi: It seems that it is all physical and the mental is just that clarity.

Sayadaw: And the observing?!

Yogi: Well, yes, but it is more of a knowing. What I call the observing mind is the ‘little guy’ in there that’s judging, looking and making decisions and then this other greater clarity is just the seeing of all that.

Sayadaw: Ah, I see. What you call the observing mind, I call mental activities, and what you call clarity, I call the observing mind!

Yogi: OK, the observing mind is doing nothing but observing then?

Sayadaw: Yes, that’s right. Is there wisdom in the observing mind?

Yogi: Hopefully!

Sayadaw: Actually, the fact that it can observe with such clarity means that there is some wisdom operating, but we fail to recognize this.

Yogi: I guess my concern here is that if I rest in that clarity of observing that I am not doing anything.

Sayadaw: There is a well-known saying in Burma: ‘Meditation is meditating but you are not meditating.’ When we begin to practise we think ‘I am practising’ but later we realize that it is just the mind that is practising. This is a natural progression in the development of awareness. For example, in the beginning of our practice we will just notice that there are thoughts. After some time, we will begin to understand that this is the mind. Realizing this means we are at a different level of understanding; wisdom has started realizing that a thought is just a mind.

Once this level of understanding has become established, the mind will always understand that ‘this is just the mind’ and the next level of understanding can arise. This will be the realization that ‘minds are just arising’, ‘minds are just happening’. There will be the understanding of ‘arising’ or ‘becoming’ (jāti).

When you see the nature of ‘becoming’ you will start realizing that everything is always new. Every moment is new; there is nothing that’s old. Everything you perceive right now, you perceive for the first time. At this level of understanding, many things in life will cease to be a problem. Wisdom will see that there are just these minds coming and going. There will be no more identification and interference; the ‘I’ will no longer participate.

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Yogi: What should I focus my mind on when there are very few thoughts, when the mind is very spacious and still?

Sayadaw: Become aware of the awareness. You don’t have to focus on anything. What you need to do is to recognize that you are still aware; to recognize that awareness is still present and to keep recognizing that. Acknowledge to yourself again and again that awareness is present. Also watch out for the defilements that occur in the observing mind. The defilements which arise in the observing mind affect you more significantly than the ones you see passing through your mind as your experience. The latter do not matter so much, but it is very important to watch out for the ones that infiltrate the observing mind.

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Yogi: I find it difficult to maintain awareness during certain activities, particularly during mealtimes.

Sayadaw: If you know that you have a weakness in a certain area, during a particular activity, always take your time. Remind yourself not to hurry, and prepare yourself. Determine your priorities. Remind yourself that you want to maintain mindfulness, that you want to be fully aware of this experience. Tell yourself that you are not eating but practising. By making these autosuggestions you are telling the mind to move into a particular direction. This is right thinking.

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Yogi: I sometimes feel that there is nothing going on in the mind, I am just sitting there and the mind seems to be blank or empty.

Sayadaw: This feeling of emptiness can come up when there are very subtle objects only. But if you are awake and alert, i.e. not sleepy, you can still be aware of the sense of awareness at such times. You know that awareness is working, and the awareness will be very clear. Just stay with that.

If you find it difficult to recognize awareness at work, you need more practice. Ask yourself often: “What is the mind aware of now?” In this way you will gradually learn to see the mind more clearly and to know what awareness feels like. At first you need to practise with very obvious mind activities such as the mind being aware of thinking, of hearing, or of directing attention to a particular object. Also remind yourself to be as continuously aware as you can; continuity of mindfulness too will help you to clearly recognize awareness. It will help you to see the mind. Eventually you will realize that awareness is happening naturally all the time.

Yogi: How can we keep up the continuity of awareness in daily life?

Sayadaw: You need to have some wisdom, some understanding that the practice is beneficial. It is not enough to hear it from other people. A real desire to practise will only arise after you have recognized yourself what difference the practice of awareness makes to your life. You need to really understand how beneficial the practice of awareness is for you. Such an understanding will motivate you much more than any outside encouragement or support.

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Yogi: I find it easy to be aware of the body. When I do some physical work, all I need to do is focus on body sensations and stay with them. I find it much more difficult to observe the mind when I do mental work. What is the best way to do that? What exactly do I focus on?

Sayadaw: Knowing the body is different from knowing the mind. You need to focus a little to be aware of the body, but this is not necessary to be aware of the mind. Awareness is a mental activity, it is already there, and you don’t need to do anything. Trying to focus on awareness is counter-productive. Knowing the mind simply requires a lot of practice. You need to become skilful at observing the mind in order to know that the mind is doing mental work like thinking, planning, or writing. Until you have enough practice in observing the mind, you will lose mindfulness quite often whenever you do this kind of work.

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Yogi: I have a question about awareness in social situations. If I am in a harmonious social environment, interacting positively with people, there seems to be a natural flow, a sense of ease and enjoyment. If I bring mindfulness into such a situation, it seems to interrupt this natural flow and the joy and ease seem to fade away. What is your take on this?

Sayadaw: This is a misunderstanding of the practice. The fact that you know that you are interacting with others, that the situation is harmonious, that there is ease and enjoyment, shows that you are aware of what is going on. If you then decide to observe this, you are doing too much. You are putting in unnecessary effort to be mindful and that feels unnatural. Just let your awareness flow naturally with what is happening.

Yogi: But I often do not feel that I am being aware!

Sayadaw: There is probably a lack of skill in watching with a natural kind of awareness. If we are used to applying a very conscious kind of awareness, if this is the only kind of awareness we know, we will bring this in when trying to observe social situations. What we need to do is to learn to practise a more natural awareness when we do formal practice and to avoid the kind of very purposeful, very intense awareness. If we can get in touch with this natural flow of awareness, when we just work with the awareness that is, we can bring this understanding into social situations and be mindful in an easy and natural way.

When we practise with a super-conscious kind of mindfulness, when we always tell ourselves that now we are going to be mindful, we will distort the picture and our experience will be kind of stultified. We need to learn to remain in an open and relaxed state of just noticing what is going on; we need to intentionally practise in a simple way. We need to keep doing this until it becomes natural, both when we are on our own and when we are with other people. For most yogis this is not easy and will take a lot of patience and perseverance.

Yogi: When I am on my own, I feel that there is a very easy and relaxed kind of awareness. But when I am in a social situation, being mindful becomes kind of artificial.

Sayadaw: You need to remind yourself to be aware in that easy and relaxed kind of way when you are with people. You also need to be aware of where your attention is. When you are on your own, your attention will tend to be all ‘in here’. When you are with others, it will most likely be all ‘out there’. Why does it all go ‘out there’? It is because you are more interested in what is going on ‘out there’, because you are not really interested in what is going on ‘in here’. When the attention is all ‘outside’, thoughts and emotions will come unnoticed and things will build up.

Yogi: Right! This is where the conflict arises for me. I try to maintain the internal awareness but when the awareness wants to go out, it affects that awareness.

Sayadaw: OK, the outside is important but so are you! Why not be aware of both, why not go for 50/50?

Yogi: Sounds good, sounds like a deal!

Sayadaw: There are of course variations; in some circumstances it might be 60/40, etc. You need to experiment, learn in different situations and also remember to apply whatever you have learned on retreat.

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Yogi: I find it easy to be aware of whatever arises at the sense doors. But I find it confusing when I try to be aware of awareness itself. I am not sure where to put my awareness.

Sayadaw: The mind cannot be found anywhere; trying to find it is a futile exercise. It would be a bit like trying to find your glasses when you are actually wearing them. The mind is not something that you can take hold of and look at. You can recognize the mind because it is doing its work. Awareness is already present; because of this you are aware of things. You are getting confused because you are looking for something other than what is there, because you think there must be ‘something’ else.

Put your hands together like this. Can you feel the sensations?

Yogi: Yes.

Sayadaw: Do you recognize that you know the sensations?

Yogi: Yes.

Sayadaw: That’s awareness of awareness. Don’t try hard to look for awareness; relax and see that it is already there. We find being aware of the mind difficult only because we lack practice. Experienced yogis find that being aware of the mind is just as straightforward as being aware of the body.

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Yogi: You say that vipassanā is effortless because there is no choice to be made. But it seems to me that there is always choice in practice; how long to stay with an object, which of the many objects that arise to pay attention to and so on.

Sayadaw: Becoming aware is a gradual process. In the beginning the mind needs to learn to recognize that there is consciousness. In the beginning you should allow the mind to recognize whatever it is noticing. Once awareness is established, the mind will naturally be aware of many things. At this stage a choice can be made. You can ask yourself: “What is more important to pay attention to now?” You will, however, need to check the mind that is observing. Wisdom has to make the choice, not ‘you’. You have to check to see whether there is any greed, expectation, aversion or rejection. You might also have to remind yourself that the object is not important, that you need to look at the mind.

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Yogi: I am used to focusing on one object. Now you are telling me not to do that. How can I be aware of many objects at the same time?

Sayadaw: You need to recognize that you are aware. Don’t observe the objects; just keep checking whether awareness is present. As your awareness becomes stronger, it will automatically be able to see more objects. It is like a good satellite dish; the better the dish and the receiver, the more channels you can receive.

Yogis often start off by concentrating on one object, and when they start becoming aware of many things they think that the mind is being distracted. This is a problem for samatha meditation, but for vipassanā meditation it means that the mind has become more receptive, that there is more awareness.

In our practice of awareness we begin by paying attention to an object, so there is knowing of the object. The next step is becoming aware that we know this object. Then we will also learn to become aware of the attitude behind the awareness. With practice you will be able to see all of this at the same time.

Yogi: That might be relatively easy if I just observe hearing or sensations, but what do I do when I am confronted by strong feelings of worry, anxiety, or fear? How do I observe them?

Sayadaw: Observe how such emotions make you feel. Do they make you feel hot, tense, tight, etc.? Also pay attention to the thoughts that you are having and how the thoughts and the way you feel affect each other. Don’t get lost in the story or get carried away by how you are feeling. Look at how the mind is working. You will learn how thoughts influence your feelings and how feelings influence your thoughts. You will recognize certain harmful patterns, and this will enable the mind to let go. You will for example stop indulging in certain ways of thinking when you realize that this just makes the mind feel miserable.

You need of course a relatively cool mind to be able to watch and learn. It is also very important to know why you are watching. If you are watching because you are really interested in understanding what is going on, wisdom can arise. But if you are just looking at what is happening with the hope that this will make the unpleasant emotion go away, it will not work.

Yogi: How will I know when wisdom arises?

Sayadaw: You will see that very clearly. You will have an experience of ‘ah, now I understand’. This is real understanding, not just intellectual understanding. You won’t have to ask anyone, you will know.

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Yogi: Is kamma being created when we are working with awareness, when we are aware of awareness?

Sayadaw: You could say so, good kamma.

Yogi: Good kamma means good rebirth or the end of rebirth!?

Sayadaw: Good rebirth, good character, good mind. This awareness is just kamma, it is an action. Only if the action results in wisdom, in the kind of wisdom that leads to the end of rebirth, then that kamma is going to give good results in that way. Rebirth cannot be ended by kamma; rebirth is ended by paññā, by wisdom.

Yogi: Yesterday I felt very surprised when I recognized a strengthening of awareness. I could actually see that awareness was getting stronger, and this felt like a miracle. What came with it was a feeling of confidence which felt new. It seemed like this process of awareness leading to more awareness was just a process which was happening and had nothing to do with me. It seems to me that I don’t have to be striving for anything because the process is taking care of itself.

Sayadaw: We call this state effortless. Effortless in the sense that you are not putting in any personal effort, the process itself is putting in the effort, nature is doing the job.

Yogi: Sometimes it seems that way and other times it doesn’t at all; it’s back and forth, back and forth.

Sayadaw: If you think of the times when you were striving and the times when you experienced this non-striving, didn’t the non-striving come at a time when you did not expect it at all and when you were not striving?

Yogi: Yes!

Sayadaw: That’s why it felt so amazing, because you were not expecting it. But the moment we are working towards it, when we are expecting it, it does not come! We always need to remember the difference between personal exertion and Dhamma taking over. As long as we are striving, as long as we are trying, we believe that ‘we’ are the ones that produce the input that creates the result. But when Dhamma takes over, there is no trying to get anywhere, there is just a doing of what is necessary.

If you are personally very involved in trying to do the practice, you cannot see what is going on naturally. Only when you step back are you able to see that the process of awareness is actually happening naturally. That’s why I sometimes ask yogis: “Have you noticed that you can hear even though you are not listening, that seeing is happening even though you are not trying to look at anything, and that even though you are not paying attention, your mind already knows things?”

I would like yogis to get to the point where they realize that without focusing or paying attention, the nature of knowing is happening. I would like yogis, especially people who have been practising for years, to just recognize that this is going on. They are too busy thinking they are practising. But after many years of meditating their practice must have gained momentum and they need to step back in order to see that this happening. They need to switch from doing to recognizing.

Of course it is not possible to just switch, to immediately change the paradigm. But it is good to have this information because this will enable you to sometimes switch into this new mode. This way you will slowly understand what is actually happening and this will enable you to let go of the old paradigm. Only when we don’t do anything, can we see the non-doing, the non-self. That’s why momentum is so important, when things continue under their own steam and you can really see that you are not involved. But there is no need to try to understand this! If you just practise continuously, the understanding will come. Once you gain some understanding that this process is just happening, the mind will start seeing things more and more from this perspective.

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Yogi: I am still struggling with letting go of old habits. I have been taught to be the doer, to really focus, to do mindfulness. I am finding it difficult to let go and open up.

Sayadaw: Don’t worry about it, many people go through the same process. Usually we start off by trying to observe. Then, after we have been given — and have understood — the right information, we just wait and watch. Lastly, when mindfulness has gained momentum, ‘we’ don’t need to do anything anymore. The mind knows what to do. At this stage there is no more personal effort. You could call it effortless awareness.

When you get ‘there’, be careful not to get attached to this state. It is possible to have moments, hours, days, or even weeks of ‘effortless’ mindfulness and then lose it again. Most people will take years of practice until it becomes really natural.

Yogi: Would you say that just waiting and watching is the same as what you call ‘not going to the object but letting the object come to you’?

Sayadaw: Yes, but even the use of the word ‘come’ is not quite correct since in fact the objects are already there; object and mind happen together.

Yogi: Can you explain the difference between what is usually called personal effort and what you call ‘Dhamma doing its job’?

Sayadaw: I’ll give you a simple example: Let’s assume you are doing mindfulness of breathing and the mind’s attention strays elsewhere. Will you bring awareness to the breath or will you just let it go with the flow? Bringing it to the breath is personal effort, letting it go with the flow is Dhamma at work.

Yogi: That’s seems the opposite of what we usually hear.

Sayadaw: To keep bringing one’s attention to the breath can be useful for beginners and when the mind needs calming down. But I encourage all yogis to remain aware of whatever happens, of whatever the mind naturally takes an interest in.

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Yogi: You talked about natural awareness and letting Dhamma do its job. I find it difficult to just let the mind choose its object. Could you explain this whole process of opening up, of allowing oneself to become more and more receptive to what’s happening and to understand why it’s happening?

Sayadaw: The mind naturally takes objects and that’s Dhamma at work. Interfering with this process and deliberately focusing the mind here and there is personal effort. If you find it difficult to let the mind take whatever object it chooses, if this is confusing, you can bring it to a main object. But don’t get attached to this object; use it as a safe place to go to but also allow the mind to go elsewhere. Allow the mind to know several objects.

It is OK to start with one object to establish awareness and concentration, but then we should allow the mind to relax and open up. Yogis often feel uncomfortable when they notice that the mind is aware of several objects, and they then try to force it to be aware of their main object only. You need to remind yourself that it is natural for a mind that is stable and has some continuity of awareness to become aware of several objects. It means that awareness is getting stronger. I call this sharp awareness.

When you allow yourself to know many objects, you are moving towards vipassanā. When you keep bringing your attention to a main object, you are doing more of a samatha kind of practice. If you want your awareness and wisdom to grow, you need to allow the mind to know more things.

There is a natural progression in the growth of awareness. You might start off with just one object, say the breath. After a while you will become aware of several objects in the body. Then you will notice how you are feeling — while being aware of all these objects in the body. Later on you will become able not only to be aware of objects and feelings but also of the mind that is aware plus of the attitude that is behind this awareness. Once you are able to see this whole picture, you will begin to understand how all these objects affect each other. This is understanding, this is wisdom.

But you have to be patient; this process takes time to unfold. First you need to practise awareness in order to gather a lot of data. The mind will then put this data together into different streams of information, and eventually this process will bring about knowledge. It is therefore essential that you allow the mind to expand, to become aware of more and more objects. If it stays on one object only, it cannot gather much data and awareness and wisdom cannot grow.

Yogi: I have more time to read these days and I wonder what the best way is to remain aware while reading.

Sayadaw: Who is reading? What is reading?

Yogi: The mind is reading.

Sayadaw: Can you know that mind? The mind is reading, the mind understands, using its intelligence.

Yogi: Is it necessary to make an effort to do that?

Sayadaw: Not deliberately during reading; you need to make an effort to recognize the mind at work whenever you practise. When we practise for a long period of time, when watching the mind has become a habit, it will be easy to see that we use the mind in all our activities, whether mental or physical.

Yogi: Sometimes I get lost in what I am reading.

Sayadaw: Yes, that can happen. If you are very interested in what you are reading you tend to get carried away, the mind gets sucked in.

Yogi: So I need to make an effort not to get lost.

Sayadaw: You just need to notice whenever you get lost. You can find out what the difference is between getting completely absorbed in what you are reading, and remaining relaxed and aware while you are reading. It feels different.

Yogi: Today I found myself getting really frustrated, feeling that I don’t understand, that I don’t know what to do, and that I don’t know how I am supposed to meditate.

Sayadaw: In such situations don’t try to meditate but check to see what attitude you are meditating with. You need to recognize that you are trying to meditate with a wrong attitude. You are frustrated because you have a wrong attitude.

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Yogi: I often find it very difficult to name my attitude or my emotions. I can feel whether they are positive or negative though. Is it sufficient to be aware of that?

Sayadaw: Yes, it is. It is not so important whether you can name your attitude or not. Most yogis are so focused on the object that they are not at all aware of the mind. By repeatedly checking your attitude, you build up a habit which will allow you to be aware of the state of mind you are practising with. When you get used to observing the mind, you will be able to see the whole picture: the attitudes, the objects, the emotions and feelings as well as any changes taking place.

Yogi: I think I don’t really understand what attitude means. Do you mean mood or whether or not I have aversion in my mind?

Sayadaw: You can call it mood or attitude. It is the negative or positive commentary in your mind that judges or evaluates whatever you are relating to. Say, you see some food on the table and your automatic reaction is ‘ooohhh’. What is the attitude behind this reaction? It’s obvious, isn’t it? In such moments you actually express your attitude. Our attitudes will always express themselves in some way.

Yogi: OK, so thoughts are different from attitudes?

Sayadaw: Yes, but they can betray your attitude; they can be an expression of your attitude. In the same way, images, feelings, choices, decisions and some physical and verbal expressions can also indicate your attitude.

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Yogi: Usually I find it quite straightforward to see my negative attitudes, to relax and let them go. But sometimes my mind feels very confused and I don’t know what to do.

Sayadaw: Just watch the confusion. Whenever my mind is confused, I stop doing things, keep to myself and wait for the mind to calm down. There cannot be any wisdom as long as you are confused. If you try to think of solutions when in a confused state of mind, you will only get confused answers. Don’t try to do anything, don’t even try to meditate.

The same principles apply when you are in a negative mood. Don’t do anything. Anything you do, say, or think will be negative in some way. Just watch the bad mood until it subsides. If you have the right attitude, this will be easy. Once the mind has calmed down, you are in a position to make a wise decision.

So just watch that confusion. Don’t try to push it away or ignore it but make it a habit to watch it in an uninvolved way. Whenever I am confused about something, I stop thinking about it. The reason why there is confusion is because there is no clarity, no wisdom about the topic. Trying to think in such a state will create more confusion. Looking at the sensations and feelings that are present will help the mind to calm down. When the mind has become calmer, it can investigate the situation.

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Yogi: There are times when the mind feels very blurred, so blurred that I cannot concentrate on anything. No matter what I try to do, I cannot focus on anything.

Sayadaw: Don’t try to do anything about it — and certainly never try to focus! Check how the mind feels about being blurred. It is very likely that when things are not going the way we think they should, the mind thinks that we should do something about it, that we should improve things. If such a wrong attitude is present, it becomes more difficult to work with the present situation. If you do not see the wrong attitude, it will keep motivating your actions or reactions.

If you find yourself in a difficult situation like this, instead of trying to do something about it, stop for a while and think. Look at the situation, reflect on what might be the appropriate thing to do, and then take another look at what is happening. Carefully thinking about your plan of action is much more important than doing something about the situation.

Yogi: But when the mind is so blurred it is difficult to think even...

Sayadaw: Just accept it as it is! This is really essential. If you cannot accept the situation, the difficulty, you cannot look at it. Just accept that feeling blurred is one of the qualities of the mind, a way that the mind happens to be functioning right now.

Yogi: But when the mind is blurred it is in such a foggy state...

Sayadaw: Your attitude towards this state of mind is really fundamental. If you feel negative about it, you cannot do anything about it and you cannot learn anything from it. Tell yourself that feeling blurred is a state of mind. Then tell yourself that you want to understand what this state of mind is like and how it works. This way the blurriness becomes your object. Observe what happens to it. Does it become more blurred or less blurred? Now you know what to do — try it out next time the mind becomes blurred.

You see once again how important information is. Recently I told my Burmese yogis: Whenever you are experiencing an emotion, ask yourself the question: “Am I going to feel the emotion or be aware of the emotion?” In other words: “Are you going to watch it as an uninvolved observer or are you going to participate in the emotion?” It has made a big difference to a lot of the yogis. Just thinking of that question, just asking the question has made a big difference to how their mind reacted. You need to have the right information in order to think in the right way and in order to have the right attitude.

Yogi: Why is it that whenever we have expectations, the situation becomes negative? How does this process work?

Sayadaw: Expectations are expressions of lobha. Expectations are present because of delusion (moha), because we don’t know things as they really are. If we really accepted things as they are we would not have expectations. But when we don’t understand, we tend to have expectations. The stronger the expectation, the stronger the aversion when the expectation is not met.

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Yogi: How can a yogi develop more patience?

Sayadaw: Watch the dosa. Dosa is the problem. My teacher always said to me that all the problems in the world originate from the trio of lobha, dosa, and moha. Keep an eye on them. Watching the bad qualities is more important because if you can keep them at bay, the good qualities will automatically come in. That’s why I chose ‘Don’t Look Down on the Defilements’ as the title of my first book.

I did a lot of retreats trying to develop good qualities. But I didn’t really change; I didn’t become a better person. That’s because I neglected to look at the bad qualities. The quality of my mind only started to improve when I began watching the bad qualities. Watching them really consistently and continuously enabled me to understand their nature.

Yogi: Would it be correct to say that impatience and expectations are the two main defilements to watch out for in our practice?

Sayadaw: Yes, you should patiently watch the impatience. I myself became more patient because I watched impatience every time it arose.

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Yogi: Sometimes I have the impression that the investigation is going more towards a manipulation of the experience, that it is changing the experience in some way because there is an intention and this intention is based on some kind of expectation or wanting.

Sayadaw: If there is a sense of wanting some result in your investigation other than wanting to understand, i.e. wanting a particular result to happen, the mind is manipulating the situation. Whenever you get this impression, you need to check your attitude to see whether the mind is actually trying to do this. Investigation just wants to know in an open way, wants to know what exactly is going on. It does not want to manipulate things.

Yogi: I don’t usually experience wanting any results. It is more that I am aware that there are so many aspects of my experience which I could bring my awareness to. That’s why I am wondering why I am choosing a particular one, why there is a preference for it, and whether there is some kind of wanting behind that choice.

Sayadaw: You can investigate in that way too. Ask yourself why you have chosen a particular aspect. But sometimes it is not your choice; the mind has automatically chosen. When you do any investigation, you must always remember that the mind is doing its own work. If you identify with this process, it becomes very complicated. But if you just recognize that the mind is doing these things, that the mind is making certain choices, it is easy to observe and investigate how the mind works.

Whenever you investigate it is very important that you watch out for expectations. It can happen that you heard or read something which seems very similar to what you are experiencing in meditation and — without being aware of it — you might interpret or manipulate your experience in the light of that information.

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Yogi: I very easily get bored watching the mind, particularly during sitting meditation.

Sayadaw: Why do you get bored?

Yogi: I guess because I expect something to happen.

Sayadaw: Yes, when we want something to happen quickly, the mind cannot wait and gets bored.

Yogi: So what should I do? Stop meditating?

Sayadaw: You need to practise patience. Notice every time the mind is eager for results and remind yourself of the right attitude. Only when the mind is simple, can wisdom develop. A complicated mind, a mind which thinks, expects, and plans, blocks off wisdom. The mind must be simple in order to be in the present and in order to see things just as they are. When awareness is really in the here and now, the mind never gets bored.

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Yogi: I used to have a lot of expectations in my practice and I often got attached to results. But now I try not to ask anything of my practice. I attempt to do the practice just for its own sake. Is it OK to really ask nothing of the practice?

Sayadaw: Yes, that’s fine. When the conditions or causes are fulfilled, the effects or results will naturally follow. Waiting for the effects to happen is greed. Wisdom understands that just working on the conditions will bring about the results and therefore it does not worry about them.

The mind is, however, likely to play tricks on you. You might feel that there are no expectations but then, suddenly, they somehow sneak back in again. So don’t pay too much attention to the experiences you have during meditation but make an effort to keep watching the mind. If your attention is more on the mind, you will more easily notice whenever any form of greed sneaks in.

Yogi: How important are prayers — in comparison to meditation?

Sayadaw: How many times can you pray in one day?

Yogi: I pray every time after meditation. Should I pray when I meditate or is it better to pray at different times?

Sayadaw: Meditation is about being aware with the right understanding. You can be aware of the fact that praying is happening. So praying and meditation can happen at the same time.

Taking the advice of the Buddha is the same as praying or paying respect to him. The Buddha’s main advice to his followers was to be aware all the time, as much as possible. The Buddha very often reminded people not to be forgetful – ‘appamādena sampādetha’ in Pāli. Therefore, every time we remember this advice and practise awareness, we are paying respect to him. A prayer does not need to be expressed in words; it can be a mental attitude. Consequently, if we are aware all day long, we are paying respect to the Buddha all day long too.

The word Buddha means ‘one who knows’, and knowing is the quality of wisdom. Whenever we cultivate wisdom we are therefore inviting his presence. It is almost like being with him at these times.

Yogi: I find the concepts of hell realms, heavenly realms, and rebirth very difficult to accept. Other teachings of Buddhism are very straightforward because I can put them into practice and experience them directly. Do you have any suggestions on how to look at these concepts?

Sayadaw: You don’t have to believe in other realms or in rebirth. Just keep on practising. Once there is greater wisdom, the mind will start understanding these things in the right way.

You could see other realms as different qualities of mind. When you feel miserable, the mind is in hell, and when you are in jhāna, you are in a heavenly realm. Life is a reflection of the quality of the mind. If you really understand the mind, you understand the world. You don’t need to believe something you cannot intellectually understand. Just keep investigating. Just keep learning from your personal experience.

Yogi: Is it OK to be attached to mindfulness?

Sayadaw: NO, it isn’t! There is no need to be attached to mindfulness, mindfulness develops because of momentum. What is there to get attached to? Any attachment should be avoided. It is of course possible to become attached to anything, but no attachment is good.

Yogi: I often observe myself wanting other people to do poorly so that I will look best.

Sayadaw: Yes, that’s good, you know your mind! It is in the nature of the mind to always want to be better than others, to want to see others as inferior. Only when this is recognized do we get the opportunity to change.

Yogi: How can I work skilfully with such observations?

Sayadaw: Look at how it feels when the mind has a thought like that. You will see that it is not very pleasant. If you recognize this feeling every time there are such thoughts, the mind will become so familiar with the unpleasantness of them, that it will no longer want to be that way. The mind will not only realize that such thoughts are unpleasant but also that it is unnecessary to have them and that they are unwholesome. Once the mind really understands all this, it will easily let go.

Yogi: I have accomplished and suffered a lot in my life. Now I really appreciate the practice but I am definitely still very attached to ‘me’, to the ‘I’ who is doing all this. I find the idea of having to let go of ‘I’ or ‘me’ very frightening.

Sayadaw: You don’t have to believe in anything and you don’t have to let go. You just need to practise. Nobody here really believes that there is no ‘I’.

Yogi: It feels like I would fall into some kind of void somewhere.

Sayadaw: This is only because you don’t understand. Just trying to let go would be a meaningless exercise. Don’t worry about it; as long as you find joy and interest in the practice, you are doing fine. All you need to do is to take in the information you are given and explore. There is no need to try to believe in the existence or non-existence of anything.

Yogi: Is it possible to like something without having greed?

Sayadaw: Let me put it this way: Wisdom also desires things. But wisdom has a different motivation; it understands the true benefit of something and therefore it moves towards that. It is very different from greed or lust.

Yogi: I was thinking of intrinsically liking something, like walking in the woods and listening to a woodpecker’s sound.

Sayadaw: That’s greed! I will give you another example. Some people, after hearing about Nibbāna, will try to practise very hard because they want to get it. That too is greed; they have no idea what Nibbāna is really about. This is the same as striving to earn a lot of money, thinking that once you get it you will be able to fulfil all your wishes.

When wisdom wants something there is no agitation, there is no urge to get there immediately. It understands the proximate causes to attain the goal and will steadily work to fulfil them. Wisdom always sees both sides, the good and the bad; it sees things from different perspectives. If wisdom sees black it also understands that it is not white. If it sees dukkha, it understands that the opposite must be possible, and that is what the mind subsequently strives towards.

When wisdom is present there will never be frustration, disappointment, or depression because the goal has not yet been reached. Since there is a real understanding, it knows that just by keeping on the path it will eventually get there. Greed, on the other hand, will always be disappointed as long as it has not reached its goal.

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Yogi: While I am doing sitting meditation I am aware of different objects. There is often desire in connection to one of the objects. How can I drop such defilements in order to be really meditating?

Sayadaw: Don’t try to drop that desire! Recognize that there is desire, that’s enough. You just want to recognize what’s happening, you don’t want to get involved.

When you experience a desire and become aware of it, does it stay the same or does it become stronger?

Yogi: If it is strong to begin with, it gets stronger. I am often lost in it.

Sayadaw: If desire arises because of a particular object, you should stop observing that object. It is not a Dhamma object; it is an object of desire. The object you need to watch in such a situation is desire itself. Watch the feeling that comes with the desire.

How should you watch desire? From what point of view?

Yogi: I guess I should try not to identify with it.

Sayadaw: Yes. Remind yourself that desire is just a natural phenomenon. It is not your greed. This will create a little distance to it and allow you to observe it more objectively. Also try to watch the intensity of the desire—does it increase or decrease? If you can observe this, you could ask yourself why it decreases or increases.

Yogi: I am finding the heat unbearable these days.

Sayadaw: So what do you do? Complain or meditate?

Yogi: It is too hot to meditate.

Sayadaw: Whenever your mind complains, it is prime meditation time! When your mind is agitated, you need to look at your attitude and you need to examine your thinking. What is heat? It’s a natural phenomenon. That’s Right View. If you allow your mind to judge the heat as bad, it will always complain. It is therefore very important that you adjust your attitude first, that you change the way you look at the situation before you do anything about adjusting the environment.

After you have accepted the situation with right view, i.e. after you have reminded yourself that heat is just a natural phenomenon, you need to examine your mind. How does aversion feel? How intense is your dislike? If you watch the aversion with the right attitude, the right view, and the right thought, your feelings will calm down.

Yogi: So I should not try to focus on anything?

Sayadaw: No, just be aware of the unpleasant feeling. Don’t judge what is happening, accept the situation.

Yogi: But if the heat gets too intense it might become dangerous to my health!

Sayadaw: If your health is really threatened, you must of course do something to cool down. But make sure that this does not become an automatic reaction. Always try to accept the situation and look at your aversion before you do that.

The natural tendency of the mind is to indulge in what it likes and to avoid what it dislikes. Wisdom follows the middle way, wisdom neither likes nor dislikes. It just accepts the situation as it is and only does something about it if and when it is really necessary. If you want the mind to be peaceful, you need to cultivate more and more wisdom.

Yogi: I am trying to understand what the mind is. Occasionally there seems to be a palpable, an almost physical feel to it but often it seems so elusive. Can you say something about the mind?

Sayadaw: When we start watching the mind, it seems elusive because we are not used to observing it. But once we have some practice in watching the mind, it becomes more and more apparent. It feels more and more palpable—in a way just as if you were observing body sensations.

It is really important to recognize what is going on in the mind. Sometimes it is calm and happy, other times it is agitated and unhappy. By becoming clearly aware of these states and observing them we will—over time—learn why they arise. We see how our thoughts and ideas affect our emotions. We can see that our behaviour and our thinking are governed by ideas and values we blindly accepted, usually when we were young, and we also realize how much we are attached to them. Becoming aware of these ideas and values gives us a chance to bring in some wisdom which will allow us to re-evaluate them, to become less attached to them and, if necessary, to replace them with more useful ideas and values.

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Yogi: When the mind is in a positive state I intentionally ask myself questions like: “What is the cause of this state?” or: “What is the effect of this state?” Is it necessary to do this or not? I find it takes quite some effort to do it and it brings up agitation and restlessness.

Sayadaw: Don’t ask questions if that makes you feel agitated. Just trying to understand intellectually is not real! That’s why continuity of awareness is so important. If you recognize all the minds that are happening and what the mind is doing and feeling, causes and effects will become obvious.

As long as you are interested in the process of watching, the mind will automatically investigate the relationship between cause and effect. If you are watching continuously, you will be aware of the state of mind before the good state comes into existence, and also observe how it fades away again. Watching this whole process, the mind will recognize the causes and effects.

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Yogi: What is the best way to watch the activities of the mind?

Sayadaw: Don’t focus on any objects! Only if you don’t focus can you notice the mind. When you wear glasses but are not looking at anything, you will easily notice that the glasses are there. However, when you are looking at something, you will not notice the glasses. The nature of the mind is similar; it either focuses ‘outwards’ or—when it is not focusing—it very naturally retreats ‘inwards’. Only if you don’t focus outwards can the mind be aware of itself.

Yogi: My awareness is good, I can see the various activities of the mind quite continuously throughout the day, but I am not clear whether I am aware of observing these things or whether I am just observing them. Let me give you an example: I was doing walking meditation and some confusion arose. When I became aware of observing confusion, the mind became very clear. It was very clear that there was the awareness of the observing.

Sayadaw: That’s because the qualities of a confused mind and an observing mind are very different.

Yogi: Yes, exactly! That’s why it is so clear. But when the mind is calm and peaceful it is less clear that I am observing it.

Sayadaw: But what is happening and the watching are very different, right?

Yogi: Yes, when there is a state of confusion or agitation they are very different.

Sayadaw: So when you are trying to observe a clear and peaceful state of mind, is there a desire to want to see this state more clearly?

Yogi: Yes.

Sayadaw: Don’t try to see it more clearly!

Yogi: Ok, that’s helpful.

Sayadaw: If you can see the difference between the observing and the observed clearly in one state of mind, you will gradually become able to see it in any other states too. Clearly understanding the difference between the observing and the observed, between the mind and the object, is a kind of insight. You can ask yourself: “Which is the object, which is the mind?” But then you need to let the mind do its own work. Don’t expect answers! If there are expectations or any other kind of lobha, the mind gets confused.

Yogi: Yes, there are expectations!

Sayadaw: For many yogis, not recognizing that some form of expectation has crept into the observing is their main problem. So always check the attitude before you do something. Don’t expect results! When the mind has no desire at all, everything is very clear. You don’t have to look very hard. Once the mind is moving in a wholesome direction, it will keep going and things will unfold naturally.

Yogi: Yes, I have been trying too hard.

Sayadaw: Your effort always has to be balanced. You have to practise correctly, in a balanced way, continuously, and wisely.

Yogi: How can I distinguish between my own feelings and emotions and those which I experience because of the influence of other people?

Sayadaw: If you watch your mind all the time it will be obvious. When you are aware of your thoughts and feelings as you interact with others, you will see how they are feeding each other.

Yogi: So I will be able to see which feelings are influenced by others?

Sayadaw: Yes, you will see how their thoughts and feelings affect your thoughts and feelings and vice-versa. You will see how your feelings are influenced by what they say and the way they say it. It is important to always be aware of your reaction to whatever you experience.

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Yogi: I continued observing the feeling of frustration I told you about during our last meeting. It kind of stayed in the background but it was always there. Then, this morning, I suddenly realized that I had become frustrated because I had been very lonely. Once I could see that, the frustration was gone.

Sayadaw: When we keep an eye on feelings, they cannot grow, they cannot become more intense. When you observe a feeling, you will also find out where it came from, where it began. Because you had not been aware of the loneliness, it grew into something else, into frustration, but then the constant observation of the feeling of frustration led you back to it, i.e. it made you see where it all began.

Yogi: I had always believed that emotions change very quickly and that emotions do not stay in the body. But my experience was different, I could definitely feel it in the body and it was not changing quickly at all.

Sayadaw: Seeing the nature of mind, i.e. seeing the constant and quick changes, can only happen when the mind is very clear, calm, and strong. The mind is neither in the body nor out of the body but the mind is always connected to the body. It is always interacting with the body. We therefore experience that certain emotions affect certain parts of our body. We might perceive emotions as lingering in the body but in fact there is just this interaction going on.

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Yogi: I was wondering about bringing things into sitting meditation. I might have feelings, moods, and so on when I am walking but my mind is not really settled enough to investigate them. But when I sit in meditation I can encourage these to arise and then investigate them and use that as a way of trying to understand them. This way I am bringing something in rather than seeing what arises. I am not dealing with it in an intellectual way but in an investigative way.

Sayadaw: Yes, you can do that, when the mind is ready you can do that. When the mind is quite stable, when the awareness is good and you have enough samādhi, you can recall such emotions in order to investigate them.

One yogi experienced very strong hatred every time he remembered a particularly difficult encounter he had had with someone. I told him to watch his feelings every time this memory came up spontaneously, and I advised him to switch to a neutral object whenever he felt that the feelings were becoming too strong and to only watch them again after his mind had become more stable. I also suggested to him that whenever his mind felt really firm, stable and calm, to bring up the memory in order to see what he could learn from it. He did all this over a long period of time and little by little he began to understand things and then, at some point, he no longer experienced any anger when the memory of that event or the image of that person came up. He was able to forgive him because he had really understood the situation.

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Yogi: I am not clear about vedanā. Is it enough to just know that there are pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral feelings?

Sayadaw: Vedanā is an activity of the mind. There is a difference between this activity of feeling and our perception of it as pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. Vedanā means feeling or ‘sensing’ something, feeling into something, while pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral is our interpretation of feeling.

Yogi: So do we need to be mindful of this feeling process or the qualities of pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral?

Sayadaw: We need to know both, and it is important to understand that they represent different functions of the mind, the aggregates of feeling and perception. The function of perception (saññā) is to interpret feeling (vedanā) as pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. The function of vedanā is just to feel.

Yogi: That means we need to be mindful of the activity of vedanā as separate and distinct from the pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral?

Sayadaw: Yes, that’s right. You can also make further distinctions between feelings. When the mind interprets a particular sensation as a bodily pleasant (sukha) feeling it will usually immediately give rise to a pleasant mental feeling, called somanassa. When the body sensations are interpreted as unpleasant (dukkha), it will usually give rise to an unpleasant mental feeling, called domanassa. The reaction to neutral (adukkha-m-asukha) feelings in the body will be equanimity.

Yogi: Do vedanā and saññā always work together?

Sayadaw: Yes, vedanā touches everything, together with consciousness and other mental factors. You experience the world through this activity of vedanā.

Yogi: Is it difficult to become aware of vedanā? Is it very subtle?

Sayadaw: Yes, it is quite subtle. Neutral feelings are already quite subtle in comparison to pleasant or unpleasant ones. The process of vedanā is even more subtle than that. It is not easy to become aware of it. Becoming aware of the mind at work takes a lot of practice; it is not an ordinary knowing, it is a very subtle understanding process.

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Yogi: When doing lying down meditation I had this sense of knowing a feeling as unpleasant but not feeling it as unpleasant. Later a different type of feeling arose and the mind knew ‘happiness’. This time the feeling was known as pleasant but it was not felt as pleasant.

Sayadaw: You were aware of the feelings but the mind that was aware of the feelings had no lobha or dosa towards what was being felt. So there was no reaction of unpleasantness or pleasantness (domanassa or somanassa). The mind had just registered the experience as unpleasant or pleasant. It did not react to, i.e. it did not participate in that feeling.

Yogi: Yes, that was my experience.

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Yogi: You mentioned that feelings need not be categorized as pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. Sometimes I find it helps me to recognize them. When I recognize that something is very pleasant, it helps me to see how I am becoming attached to it and how I suffer when it is not there anymore. Could you comment on this?

Sayadaw: We cannot avoid experiencing pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral feelings. They just happen naturally. I advise yogis not to pay much attention to the pleasantness or the unpleasantness because by doing so we actually perpetuate that particular pleasant or unpleasant feeling.

I would like yogis to pay more attention to the process of feeling rather than to its pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral quality. Being aware of feeling is more subtle than being aware of its quality; it means being more aware of it as a mental activity.

Yogi: Sometimes pleasant feelings are unpleasant and sometimes unpleasant feelings are pleasant.

Sayadaw: Yes, whether or not something is experienced as pleasant or unpleasant depends on whether the mind is holding greed or aversion. When the mind is full of greed, it usually finds things pleasant but when the mind has aversion, it tends to find things unpleasant. When we feel cold, we will find heat pleasant but when we then get hot, we’ll find heat unpleasant.

The actual mental activity is feeling and I would like yogis to learn to recognize this reality. We need to learn to see that the mind feels, that the mind is doing this work of feeling.

Yogi: The other day you were talking about the importance of seeing and hearing versus sight and sound. I still don’t understand. Can you explain this to me?

Sayadaw: Don’t pay attention to a particular sound. Just be aware that you are hearing. Hearing means that you know that the mind knows the sound, that you are aware of the sound and the knowing mind. If you are aware of hearing you can be aware of many different sounds. If you focus on one particular sound you will get caught up in concepts, i.e. thinking about what causes the sound, the direction it comes from, etc. and you cannot be aware of the mind. So don’t pay attention to the objects of hearing but to the process of hearing. The same goes for seeing.

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Yogi: If I am listening to someone and I feel like I am paying attention to what they are saying, responding to them as best as I can, do I also need to be aware of the fact that listening is happening, or that conversation is happening, or that I am sitting in a room, or that I hear sounds, etc.? When I tried to do that I felt that I was all over the place, that I was fragmented.

Sayadaw: When you are not very experienced, you tend to go to the objects. When you do that, when you try to be aware of as much as you can, it will feel like you are all over the place.

Start by paying attention to your feelings. It is really important to know how you are feeling while you are listening or talking. Are you reacting in any way? Simply be present with that, just stay with whatever you are feeling. You will notice that whenever you get the feeling of being stable and collected, the mind will start to expand and you will become able to notice other experiences without even trying. It is almost like the objects come to you when the mind is in a calm and receptive state. Yogis who understand how their minds work can just be in this receptive state of awareness and be content with whatever the mind knows.

Yogi: So, is it wrong practice to be listening and then to remember to be aware of the fact that you are listening?

Sayadaw: I would not call it wrong practice; I just think that it might be difficult at first, when you are not yet skilful at being aware when interacting with others.

When you are listening, what is listening, how are you listening?

Yogi: I am using my ears and I am also using my mind.

Sayadaw: That’s the key; it is the mind which listens. We just need to notice what the mind is doing.

Is hearing the same as listening?

Yogi: Hearing is passive and listening is active.

Sayadaw: Yes, even when you are not trying to listen, you can still hear. Even if you aren’t trying to look, you will still see.

So when you aren’t trying to pay attention to your experience, can the mind still be conscious of it?

Yogi: Hmm, my initial answer is: it depends …

Sayadaw: OK, say you were listening to something, and usually you pay attention to your breath but now the mind has slipped away and feels something on one of your hands. What would you be paying attention to?

Yogi: I think to my hand.

Sayadaw: Yes. There is no need to bring the mind to any place. The mind is doing its own work; you just need to recognize what the mind is doing. If you want to understand ‘nature’, you just have to let things happen naturally. Bringing our awareness ‘back’ to something is making a personal effort. For a beginner this might be necessary, but after some time you don’t need to do this anymore.

Instead of listening to a sound, we should be aware that hearing is happening. In the hearing there is a knowing of the sound — that’s what is called hearing. So everything is there. I am speaking now and you are listening to me. Are you hearing sound which is coming from me or are you hearing sound which is already your experience, which is already with you and not ‘out there’? So by just staying with yourself you can know everything.

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Yogi: I am a little confused about being aware of seeing. I was just looking out of the window and I could see that the mind is putting labels on things, that it is using concepts all the time. This is happening naturally. With all this going on automatically, how can I see things as they are? How can I be aware of seeing itself?

Sayadaw: There is no need to get rid of what the mind naturally does. The mind is reality and you can recognize that it is doing its work. Perception (saññā) is one of the functions of the mind and you cannot stop that from happening. It is enough to recognize that perception is a function of the mind and to remind yourself not to identify with the process.

When we look at our five physical sense doors, it will be very obvious that touching, smelling, and tasting occur in the body. Why is it that we perceive seeing and hearing as happening ‘out there’? Actually, seeing and hearing happens right here too. But we believe in the concepts that the mind is using; we believe perception which perceives a distance.

So how can we recognize the reality of seeing in seeing? When you pay attention to what you are seeing, you just see concepts such as shape, colour, distance, size, etc. But reality is said to have no colour, no size, and no form! How can we become aware of this reality?

The key is in recognizing the knowing mind. Can we recognize that we know? Does knowing have colour, size, or form? We need to recognize this mind. What does it know? It knows its object. The object is reality, the reality behind concepts.

Without understanding we cannot know reality, however hard we try. Awareness sees the concepts and understanding knows the reality.

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Yogi: I find it much more difficult to be aware of seeing and hearing than to be aware of body sensations. Why is that?

Sayadaw: Everyone has this problem. Smell, taste, and touch are perceived as happening inside the body but sight and sound are perceived as happening outside. This is because we believe in the concepts of ‘out there’, ‘direction’, etc. In fact what we hear and see is also happening inside; in a sense there is no outside world. Everything we experience happens in the mind. The world is a creation of the mind. So there is no need to look outside; everything is happening right here in our own minds.

Yogi: I have become aware that there are many thoughts in my mind.

Sayadaw: Do you only know the thoughts? Or do you understand that this is just the mind? Or do you understand the nature of arising?

Yogi: I am not sure.

Sayadaw: Most people only know that there are thoughts but they don’t understand that it is just the mind at work. Some people understand that it is just the mind but they don’t understand the nature of arising. This reflects their different levels of understanding.

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Yogi: Sometimes there is nothing in the mind. I’m just aware of my posture.

Sayadaw: There is always some mind activity going on. Whenever you check the mind, check how you feel. Are you relaxed or not, are you tense or not? Also see if there are any thoughts.

Yogi: I tend to get carried away with thoughts.

Sayadaw: That’s OK, we can get lost in thoughts sometimes. When you check your mind and notice that thoughts are present, don’t dwell on them. Just recognize that there is thinking!

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Yogi: I find myself regularly getting lost in thinking. There is some resistance to being aware. The mind finds it pleasurable to get lost in thinking. This keeps happening even though I know that when I let the mind run freely, at the end of it, there is a lot of tension from doing that.

Sayadaw: The mind works from habit patterns. You understand a little bit that this habit causes tension but wisdom is weak and the habit pattern is strong. Therefore it is really important for you to see what is motivating your thinking. You need to really watch out and notice the mind wanting to think, wanting to be lost in thought. Pay attention to the intensity of this desire; notice whether it fades or increases. You will find that when it fades, the thoughts don’t come, and when it grows, the thoughts start coming in. At the same time don’t forget to keep asking yourself whether there is awareness, whether awareness is at work. But don’t try to be aware. You just need to be the supervisor; you just need to keep checking whether awareness is doing its job.

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Yogi: I find it challenging to stay with my thoughts. I might get a glimmer of my thoughts but it is very difficult for me to remain rooted. I easily slip into my story.

Sayadaw: Two factors contribute to that: One is that awareness is not strong enough; the other factor is the lack of skill or practice. Most people have very little practice in recognizing thoughts, i.e. in acknowledging that a thought is happening and in remaining aware of the thought. What most people are used to is focusing on thoughts in order to make them disappear.

I advise beginners to simply recognize a thought, to just acknowledge it and then bring their attention to whatever object they had been observing before. Doing this grounds them again. Watching the thought continuously would just suck them into the story. You can train yourself by doing this over and over again; recognize that a thought is happening and bring your attention to whatever else you had been observing. This builds up awareness. But once you get involved in the story in some way, you will get lost.

Once you have some practice in recognizing thoughts in this way, you can ask yourself the question: Do I see that this is a thought or do I recognize that this is the mind?

The contents of what you are thinking might be about the past or the future but the mind arises in the present moment only. We often use the expression ‘wandering mind’ which seems to suggest that the mind has wandered away, has moved somewhere. The truth is, however, that the mind does not go anywhere; the mind is only happening here and now. All it does is arise and pass away. A thought about someone far away or about an event in the past or the future is simply a thought that has arisen here and now. Awareness alone can only recognize that a thought is happening. But when there is a realization of the nature of thoughts, when there is some understanding, wisdom can see that this is only the mind.

You can look at thoughts from many different perspectives. You may realize that this thought is just the mind, that it is a defilement, that it is important or unimportant, or that it is wholesome or unwholesome.

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Yogi: Every time I become aware of thinking, the thinking immediately stops. But when I go out for a walk and become aware of looking, the looking does not stop. Can I learn to be aware of thinking without making the thoughts disappear?

Sayadaw: For experienced yogis, the observing is naturally very strong and the desire to think is not very strong, particularly in a retreat environment. For beginners it would be different; their desire to think is much stronger, the thinking does not stop and they keep losing themselves in thoughts.

Instead of focusing on the thoughts, you need to learn to recognize that the mind is thinking. Once this has become a habit, the awareness becomes stronger, more continuous, and you will be able to watch the thinking process and investigate it.

Yogi: Can you suggest anything which would help me catch the thought from the beginning?

Sayadaw: No. Don’t worry about that. Just watch thinking whenever you become aware of it. As you watch your thoughts, some understanding can arise. You might for example realize that a thought is completely useless. Such an understanding will make the thought disappear. This is wisdom at work; this is not ‘you’ doing something to the thought.

Yogi: Sometimes I catch myself having thoughts about what a good person I am, somehow there is a need to comfort myself.

Sayadaw: That’s natural; we always try to make ourselves feel better, in all sorts of ways. Remember that a thought is just an object which can help us to develop awareness, effort, and concentration. If you don’t see it as an object, you will get carried away by the train of thoughts, you will lose yourself in the story.

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Yogi: I used to find it very difficult to remain aware of thinking. I very quickly got involved and then so strongly identified with the story line that mindfulness completely disappeared. This still happens at times, but now I can more often remain aware of thinking. It feels like there is a distance between the observing and the thinking.

Sayadaw: Why are you now able to observe thinking?

Yogi: I guess it is because of effort and practice.

Sayadaw: Yes, that’s important too, but what actually enables you to observe is understanding. You changed your thinking and your attitude. Now some wisdom is working alongside awareness.

Yogi: Yes, I can see that. I am not taking the thoughts so seriously anymore and I often see how they begin.

Sayadaw: That’s really important. When you can see how thoughts begin, when you start understanding that they arise because of certain conditions, you will also realize that this is just the mind at work. Once you clearly comprehend what is actually happening, you will always be able to keep that distance between the observing and the thinking.

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Yogi: You said that if we don’t focus too much on thoughts, they will not immediately disappear and that we then can be aware of both the thoughts and the awareness. Does this also apply to unskilful thoughts?

Sayadaw: Yes. If we can maintain this open and balanced state of awareness when there is recognition of the unskilful thoughts, and we don’t get lost in them, then we are able to observe and learn something about the unskilful thoughts. In other words, this way of recognizing and observing will allow wisdom to arise.

How are you able to tell if a thought is unskilful?

Yogi: I get very tense.

Sayadaw: When the mind actually understands that, when the mind clearly sees that a thought is unskilful, it will just let go.

Yogi: That does sometimes happen; I recognize a thought as unskilful and it just goes. But I thought that was happening because my focus was too strong.

Sayadaw: No, when you understand an unskilful thought, it disappears because of wisdom. When a thought disappears because you are focusing too much, there will be no understanding; it will just stop and you will not see why. When wisdom understands something it will somehow tell you. There might be a thought flashing up saying: “This is stupid.” You will clearly know that something has been understood.

Yogi: OK, but why is it that the same unskilful thought can come up repeatedly? It can happen that a thought pops up and disappears again immediately because it was recognized as unskilful but a while later it comes up again.

Sayadaw: It depends on the defilement. Some of them are very old and strong habits and therefore they will keep coming up again and again. But every time the mind clearly recognizes it as a defilement, it loses some strength. You will need a lot of patience and perseverance to overcome deeply ingrained unskilful habits.

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Yogi: I have heard from another teacher that the more simple a person is, i.e. the less thinking he does, the faster he progresses. You said that if a person is intelligent and uses a lot of reasoning he will progress quickly!?

Sayadaw: Have you thought about what kind of thinking this yogi who is simple is not doing? It will be thinking which is not helpful, not beneficial, and not useful. He does not do any thinking with defilements; it is that kind of simplicity. What kind of thinking does the yogi apply who uses a lot of reasoning? Wise thinking. So neither statement is wrong, you just need to know how to interpret them.

People do not think about the quality of the thinking, they just hear ‘no thinking’. If you do not think at all, what can you do? You cannot even cook! People who do not know anything at all, do not think at all either. When I was young I read this comment by a writer on a Burmese saying which goes like this: ‘A wise man has few words, those who are of few words are wise.’ The writer dryly commented: ‘But those who do not know anything at all do not say anything either.’

The Buddha encouraged people to think, speak, and do what is good and right. One of the metaphors used for sati is a security guard. A security guard will allow those to enter who are supposed to be in the building but not allow those people in who have no right to be there. Sati is not a door lock. If you lock the door, neither the bad nor the good people can enter. 

Yogi: I have been using phrases such as ‘anger is just angering’, ‘doubt is just doubting’, or ‘fear is just fearing’. This immediately creates some space and gives me peace of mind. Is this all I need to do?

Sayadaw: No. Using such phrases will only alleviate the gross levels of such emotions; you should also look at the more subtle levels. Using these phrases is just borrowed wisdom; we don’t really understand their meaning and therefore there can just be a partial reduction of the emotional intensity.

Right view or right thought alleviates some of the suffering caused by the defilements. They are expressions of wisdom and will always bring some relief. Let’s assume there are five levels of intensity of emotions. Right thought — when it works — will bring us down to level three only. Level two usually does not bother us much anymore; we can easily cope with that. But the emotion is not gone and you need to investigate further.

Only once the mind really understands that thoughts are just thoughts, feelings are just feelings, etc. will such emotions immediately drop to zero.

Yogi: How do we get the real wisdom?

Sayadaw: You have to do a lot of observing and investigating over a long period of time. You have to keep investigating until the mind has gathered sufficient information to see the whole picture, until it really understands.