Yogi: Whatever task I do, I do with great intensity; consequently, it is hard to be aware.
Sayadaw: It is because you think that the task is more important.
You like perfection, right?
Yogi: Yes.
Sayadaw: Then just do the awareness perfectly – make that your task.
You just need to change what is important in the mind.
Yogi: When does nature stop and the concept or the story begin? For example, I meet a person and I don’t like the person, my aversion is nature and when I have some thoughts of my experience with the person in the past, that is the concept or story, is that correct?
Sayadaw: Reality and concept always arise together. The concepts are always built on the reality that the mind experiences.
We often just see the concept of the reality that we’re experiencing; that’s how we know it.
When you dislike someone, the concept has already happened with the reality. The reality is hearing, seeing and thinking. The concept is when the mind believes in what that thinking was, and sometimes we don’t see it and so the aversion arises.
If the mind stayed only on the reality – if it only saw the present-moment experience as it is – the mind will never have an unwholesome feeling. Reality doesn’t bring up unwholesome feelings because there is nothing to be biased about.
It’s only the concepts that bring up unwholesome feelings.
Yogi: I’m not sure if I have aversion.
Sayadaw: There is some judgment that has already happened that you didn’t notice.
Yogi: So, aversion is not nature?
Sayadaw: Aversion is nature but the reason it happens is because of an attention to a concept.
Yogi: Aversion arose and when I tried to look at it, there appeared to be a barrier, and I couldn’t see it.
Sayadaw: When you already recognize that something is present, stay with that, acknowledging that. And that keeps the mindfulness continuous – that is all you need. Trying to sort of look at it with binoculars might not work.
Yogi: I was sick; there was a lot of pain and the mind felt really tight. I wasn’t very friendly to the pain and I was watching the aversion and doubt.
Sayadaw: This is enough – there is mindfulness.
Yogi: Do I do this forever?
Sayadaw: Once the mindfulness gains momentum, of course, the mind changes. And then your experience changes and becomes more interesting.
Our work is to keep developing the mindfulness, to keep doing it over and over.
Yogi: Every time I sit on the cushion, I get very tense. I think there are a lot of wanting and forcing; and it gets stronger by the day.
Sayadaw: I suggest that you keep your eyes open.
Don’t close your eyes because when you close your eyes, the mind will have the idea that you’re trying to meditate.
Yogi: Every time I sit on the cushion, I get very tense. I think there are a lot of wanting and forcing; and they get stronger by the day.
Sayadaw: If you continue like this, it’ll become a bad habit. You need to break the habit and have a different pattern.
When you sit, don’t think that you’re going to meditate. Sit informally and relaxingly, not in a meditation posture.
Don’t sit in a way that reminds you that you’re meditating; sit in a way that you’re not there to meditate, like you’re just killing some time.
If you sit in a posture you usually sit to meditate, the entire idea of what meditation means comes back and you’ll have the same attitude, feelings and tension. You want to break out of that.
You could also lean against a wall and simply check in on yourself what is the mind thinking and feeling. That’s all you have to check.
Yogi: In daily life, we’re busy most of the time. If we’re aware, we can’t do much else.
Sayadaw: Whether you’re talking or doing anything, with awareness present, your quality of mind is very different.
When you’re aware of what you’re doing, your quality of mind improves; and consequently, the quality of what you’re doing becomes better and better.
If there is no awareness, the mind is deluded and any defilement can come in; for example, you can immediately get angry without awareness.
If you’re aware, you know that the mind is angry, and there is some space before responding. Then, the mind can decide to talk or hold back.
Every time our mental, verbal and physical actions are guided by awareness and wisdom, the mind is secure.
Yogi: A lot of judging and disliking arise whenever I meet people. How can I be aware of that?
Sayadaw: It’s just practice – if you keep setting up an intention to be aware, it’ll come.
Right now, you might know later and that’s fine. When you know is when you start; and then, it’ll get earlier and earlier.
We’re so skillful at being mindful of the body and not so skillful at noticing what’s happening in the mind; and that’s why we notice the mind later.
It doesn’t matter – if we know later, we start then, and as we continue to practice it’ll get earlier and earlier.
We need to learn all the skills that are available to us, and that is the skill of being able to be aware of any of the 6 senses that we have. Not just feeling or thoughts, but also seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling and touching.
We cannot be versatile in practicing the dhamma by just knowing one object.
Yogi: Can I take time to switch from being aware of walking to seeing and looking so that the awareness is maintained?
Sayadaw: Yes, you can even stop walking; take it slowly and practice at your own pace.
I get it that the yogi is not asking about walking slowly but taking time to be aware of seeing and also be aware of walking.
Usually, whatever we do, our attention is outside. Mindfulness is the opposite – we have to bring it back into ourselves, into this body and this mind.
It’s a new habit of doing the same thing but with the attention inside the body while we’re doing what is outside and not giving too much attention to what is outside.
It’s like a taste of it in the retreat – you walk and you’re aware; you can do two things – you’re walking and you’re aware you’re walking. You’re eating and you’re aware you’re eating; and later on, you’re talking and you’re aware you’re talking.
This is to get a taste of how to stay inside while doing what we normally do.
Yogi: How can I remember to be more aware? I have been struggling to remember.
Sayadaw: There is no need to try to make the awareness more continuous. It is more about practicing consistently.
In the beginning, nobody’s awareness is continuous. Everybody repeatedly forgets to be aware and then remembers again.
If you just keep doing that every day – you do as much as you can when you become aware – over the days, you’ll find that the moments you’re aware become more and more. Don’t mind the times you forget.
Yogi: I have trouble maintaining continuity of awareness when I do something like scrubbing the pot hard.
Sayadaw: When we pay too much attention to the outside, like to what we’re doing, that’s when we lose the mindfulness. If you’re scrubbing a pot and you’re looking too much at how the pot is, it is easier to lose mindfulness.
Using too much energy also refers to how we do something. When we use too much energy to do the activity, it also causes us to lose mindfulness.
If we remember to use some of our energy to always bring attention back to ourselves, we’ll still notice the details we want to notice and do it effectively.
If you’re holding the pot and scrubbing, if your attention can be on the holding, the movement and your feelings, you’ll still notice if the pot is getting scrubbed clean or not and adjust accordingly, and have enough mindfulness at the same time.
When we do something, we always think a little too much about what we’re doing, more than is necessary; and that’s why we lose mindfulness.
Next time you scrub pots, start by just scrubbing the pot and then ask yourself: What do I know? Then, you’ll notice all the things popping up and stay with that.
Yogi: Nowadays, when you’re aware, what is your attitude?
Sayadaw: Because the mind already understands the benefit of being mindful, my mind is content just to be mindful even if it’s nothing special.
There is a lot of confidence in mindfulness itself as a vehicle to something greater and it doesn’t matter what it is and when it’ll come.
Because I have experienced it so many times and I’m sure about it, as a result, I can settle into being mindful.
Yogi: Is there anything personal in the mind?
Sayadaw: Everything that happens in the mind is its own process. If we want, we can make it ‘mine’, and that would be a concept.
Conceptually, we can bring in the illusion of ownership or a self and believe that it is mine. We can do that; that is what the mind is actually always doing. We can consider it ‘mine’, but that is another process at work in the mind.
None of it is actually ‘me’.