Yogi: I had a good experience – there was bliss and lots of compassion and love – and spent the rest of the day wanting it back.
Sayadaw: That’s like you got baited. This is experience – it teaches us.
It’s so normal for the mind – we can hear other people having the same experience, but when it happens to us, we don’t even realize it happening.
Yogi: Is war also reality?
Sayadaw: The war is the story in the thought; the reality is the thought.
The thought is the object; the story is the content of the thought.
When you find that the objects are equal, it is because you see the reality – the thought is the same as the sound, it is the same as seeing. But if you think of war, it is different because that is the story, not reality.
When it comes to the stories, you’ll notice how the stories give the mind emotions.
When we think something is scary, we’ll be scared; when we think something is pretty, we’ll be happy; when we think it’s ugly, we’ll feel aversion.
Once there is a story, there is a judgment, whereas when there is reality, it’s all the same, no judgment.
Yogi: When there is a feeling, the feeling then becomes the object? So, this is the right view?
Sayadaw: Yes.
Yogi: I had a bad dream last night. In the afternoon, I remembered some of it and realized that they were only thoughts. And, as I did walking meditation, if I heard the water or the birds, or if thoughts arose, these experiences have the same value?
In the end, do all the objects we know have the same weight? Is this the practice?
Sayadaw: The reality is that all objects are the same because their only position is that they are being known. So, they are just all objects, and the weight is the same.
But we only see that when there is that insight. When that wisdom is present, we see that all the objects are the same. When we don’t have that insight, then we think that either this is important or that is important.
Yogi: I have been struggling with the feeling of hunger and today it hit the peak of aversion. I was pretty much feeling hungry all the time and was getting annoyed about it.
I didn’t know how to be with it – I felt it wasn’t supporting my practice and decided to eat something in the evening.
Sayadaw: It takes 2-3 minutes of right attitude and the feeling of burning hunger will go away.
We always feed ourselves when we’re hungry – it’s hard when we don’t because we’re not used to it and the habit of wanting to eat always comes back.
Yogi: I was also trying to see the difference between the hunger and wanting to eat.
Sayadaw: It’s good that you try to watch that; and you do what supports the practice.
Yogi: Sometimes there are fear, worry and insecurity, and other times, the mind is peaceful and joyous.
Sayadaw: When there are fear and insecurity, can you observe them without much thinking?
Yogi: Yes. Fear arises only when the energy increases. When I sit, both joy and energy arise – I focus on the joy and the energy subsides. And, I switch to walking or do samatha practice for 10 minutes.
Sayadaw: For now you can avoid it, but eventually, you have to learn to manage your energy so it doesn’t overwhelm you.
Now you’re sitting 10 minutes of samatha practice so that the energy won’t become overwhelming. But that is not the solution – you have to find out why it is coming up like that.
First, you need the mindfulness to be continuous so that the mind can be clear. When you watch the fear, the feeling alone won’t tell you the solution to the problem. For you, you need to detect what are the subtle things the mind is thinking that is causing the fear.
The mind holds some wrong ideas.
Yogi: I know the wrong ideas already.
Sayadaw: You have to keep on watching them until the mind sees them squarely and understands so that it can let them go.
Don’t always avoid it; sometimes when you feel quite stable, you can watch and see the fear come up and see if you can notice what is going on.
Yogi: A lot of fear arose and I began to check the source of the fear.
I finally realized that it was my fear of getting old. Whatever I do – strenuous sports and risky business – is to avoid getting old.
This is where I’m now, thinking and reflecting over all these things.
Sayadaw: There is a lot of thinking there – thinking and then observing, thinking and then observing – and the thinking has created its own story.
Do more of the observing and less of the thinking.
Investigate is not to investigate by thinking. When you have a question like why is there fear, you put aside the question and observe what is happening in the mind and body – just observe like watching a movie and not think further.
Yogi: Sayadaw’s book says that it is only with a free and light mind that I can meditate. Let’s say I have just come back from work with a heavy mind, how do I meditate?
Sayadaw: It is possible to meditate when you feel bad because I have clearly done it.
So long as we have the right attitude, even when we’re feeling tired and heavy, we can simply be aware that we’re tired and heavy. If we’re not reacting and expecting it to be different, it is okay because we can still be mindful.
In the book, it is more like saying when you practice continuously, sometimes you get to a state where the mind is light and free and it feels better to meditate. But, it doesn’t mean that it is the only way you can meditate.
Putting aside what is in the book, it really boils down to attitude. If there is no aversion towards the experience or greed for some other experience, then every experience is fine and we can be aware of it. It is like ‘I know this is happening and I can continue to know’ and that will grow the mindfulness – that is enough.
But, if we don’t have the right attitude, then it feels heavy to try to be knowing something is happening – and we’ll be struggling with what we’re knowing.
If we do have the wrong attitude, particularly when we’re confused, sometimes it’s the thinking that makes us so crazy. It is then helpful to take a simple object and watch it continuously.
Don’t allow the mind to think and just be aware continuously – and that helps to calm those excessive thoughts just like a concentration exercise.
Yogi: When I’m sitting formally, I get tense. This prevents peace and steadiness of awareness. In other postures, I’m more relaxed.
I have watched lots of videos about the perfect sitting posture and try very much to sit in the perfect way.
Sayadaw: There is no need to be perfect. Watch those thoughts that come up. If you don’t watch them, subconsciously, they will keep affecting you.
You need to bring them up in front – every time you think this thought, you acknowledge it. You have to be conscious of it.
Yogi: When I sit, I get tense and it is hard for the mind to be relaxed or aware. I use Sayadaw’s advice to ask myself if the mind is relaxed to get the mind to relax.
Sayadaw: It is more about checking what the attitude of the mind is rather than if the mind is relaxed.
There is tension now – how does the mind feel about the tension? Does it like it?
Yogi: Of course not.
Sayadaw: Watch the disliking if you can, in a relaxed way.
Yogi: I have ‘meditative’ headaches and I feel the tension around my eyes and temples. It’s just the tension without the pain. It builds up towards the evening and I can get tired and averse to it.
Sayadaw: You’re a little bit intense, like you’re quite serious in the way you’re practicing. There’s a little bit of trying too hard.
Because you’re doing it continuously day after day, it builds up. Practice continuously but lightly.
Yogi: If I take it lightly, then I wouldn’t be practicing continuously.
Sayadaw: It doesn’t have to be continuous. It’s like you practice lightly – when you lose mindfulness and you remember, then it comes back. Realize that because you’re practicing, it comes back and you can continue to be mindful again – when you lose it, it comes back.
So, just keep noticing that it comes back, again and again.
If we feel that it must or has to be a certain way – you notice the words ‘must’ and ‘has to’ – then there is going to be tension.
Yogi: In daily life, when I remember to be aware, I sometimes get confused about what to be aware of because there are so many things happening. If I take the dominant object, it is often thinking.
Sayadaw: You can know the mind and what it is knowing – it is okay.
The priority is to always check the state of the mind – how the mind is feeling as it is doing things so that the mind can stay balanced.
It is then easier to continue to be aware because the mind is balanced. When it hurries or when it worries, then it is difficult to be aware.
If you check, it is easier for the mind to become balanced again. If we don’t notice that the mind is hurrying or worrying, then we can get lost in it.
Yogi: There are unpleasant feelings in the body and aversion arises. As instructed, I notice the bodily sensations and the aversion in the mind.
It’s like a game – do I continue to do this? Is it time well spent?
Sayadaw: Is it a game because it keeps coming up and you have to keep watching it?
Yogi: Yes.
Sayadaw: If meditation is a game, it is great; then it is fun.
Yogi: Will I ever win?
Sayadaw: Why not! It is important to check your attitude – remind yourself that aversion is not a bad thing and you’re here to understand its nature.
You remind yourself that it is nature so that you can watch it, again and again
When you understand that it is nature, you’ve won the game.
Yogi: How do I practice with sadness and grief that surface when I’m sending metta to my departed loved ones?
I can see the emotion come and go because I’m not wanting it or pushing it away. Sayadaw mentions that happiness and suffering are both objects; could Sayadaw elaborate?
Sayadaw: You already know how to observe grief. Observing grief doesn’t mean that it goes away.
You seem to be neutral in observing it – you can have an intention to understand more about the nature of grief.
Since you experience it, you have the opportunity to observe it and understand its nature.
Grief arises because of conditions that allow grief to arise – what are these conditions?
You will understand that it is also a process – it is not personal.
Whatever we experience, the first priority is to observe so that we get the right understanding about it.
Yogi: When I’m tired after a long working day, aversion comes up against the tiredness. How do I deal with the tiredness?
Sayadaw: You can just be tired; there is nothing wrong with that. You need to deal with the aversion.
When you’re tired, just rest, but deal with the aversion.
The body can be tired; you have to just let it rest. The important thing is whether the mind has a reaction to that or not. So, you watch the reaction.