BEING AWARE MEANS TO KEEP LEARNING NO MATTER HOW INSIGNIFICANT

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 11 (02:30-09:15)

Yogi: I’m struggling with what to do with the open schedule and I start to drink lots of tea. And, I have to run to the bathroom often.

I’m also struggling with my expectations and frustrations – not appreciating what is happening. I’m stuck with hanging around and wanting.

Sayadaw: How much and how well we’re doing, the results are already there. We don’t have to think so much about where we are. We just have to think about what to do, which is to be mindful with right view.

Don’t think about what you’re getting; just think about what to do.

The 5 days you have been here, you have 5 days worth of mindfulness.

Growing in the practice means that you have been more mindful, you have put in that much effort and you have developed some wisdom. It’s a bit more than what you usually have, and that’s it.

Your decision about what to do when there was no schedule was to have tea mindfully and the result was that you need to go to the toilet frequently. You go to the toilet mindfully.

So long as you do that, it’s fine.

When you pee, were you mindful from start to finish?

Yogi: Well, I don’t know.

Sayadaw: It doesn’t matter how insignificant the activity we see. When we put in the effort to be aware of the activity, from beginning to end, it becomes a meditation. It becomes almost a holy activity when we bring our attention to it and stay with it.

For example, you could have an insight while taking a shower.

MEDITATION IS TO SEE WHAT IS ARISING NOW, NOT LOOK FOR SOMETHING

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 8 (1:04:20:10-1:11:25)

Yogi: When there was aversion to the pain in the moment, I realized that it was greed for something else. I was a little sad that the moment couldn’t be okay. 

I felt choked up treating the moment how it was, and then, I was grateful for how it was – it wasn’t perfect, but it was what I had. But, I’m still struggling with the experience.

Sayadaw: Forget about the greed; just be aware of the present moment as it is. Stay with the awareness because if we’re aware, we’ll recognize greed when it arises. We need to grow the awareness so that it can be ever ready.

It is like when we run a shop, we don’t chase after our favorite customer so that when others come to buy, we are not around. We should sell to whoever comes to the shop; just keep the shop open and stay there.

It’s like your mind has a target – it thinks ‘I didn’t see it and I should see it’ and it starts to look for it.

Meditation is not trying to look for something. Meditation is waiting to see what is arising now.

WE JUST NEED TO BE AWARE; WE DON’T HAVE TO CURB ANYTHING

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 11 (0:33-2:15)

Yogi: First thing in the morning, I was already excited. I was running around taking a lot of photos and I lost mindfulness. Sometimes, I recognize that it’s greed. 

Sayadaw: If you notice what is happening, that is good enough. You only need to know what is happening. You don’t have to stop it.

Yogi: I often get too excited. 

Sayadaw: There is no need to not be excited; you just need to know that you’re excited.

WE ARE NOT TRYING TO GET IT RIGHT WITH AWARENESS

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (23:20-24:15)

Yogi: When the mind is clear, I’m not sure if I’m attached or detached from it. 

Sayadaw: We don’t have to concern ourselves with whether there will be greed or not. 

If it happens, it happens – that’s okay. You learn from it – you might not know then, but you’ll find out later.

There’s no need to find out in the present moment. You just need to know what you know now – that’s enough. There’s no need to get it right.

WATCH THE LIKING MIND WHEN ATTACHED TO THE OBJECT

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (1:20:00-1:26:40)

Yogi: I think I go into strong concentration when I sit. There’s a strong vibration in my mind and all I want to watch is this vibration. I was with it for close to 2 hours in one sit.

Sayadaw: Vibration is physical; why do you think vibration is mind?

Yogi: I say vibration because I don’t know another word, and it is something I cannot locate in my body. 

Sayadaw: You don’t know for sure that is the mind – so don’t think vibration is the mind. You can say: this is an object. Don’t go closer to the object, don’t go into it and don’t inspect it.

Stay with the awareness; don’t go nearer to the vibration. Stay knowing, that awareness is still present.

When you stay with the awareness, it will pick up other objects.

Sayadaw: Are you attached to this object?

Yogi: Yes, I like it.

Sayadaw: You need to watch the liking mind; don’t look at the vibration. You need to look at the liking mind until it is not there.

If you watch the vibration with the liking mind, you’ll like it more and more and it will just grow.

Once you get attached, you get too much into the object, you’ll start going into the object, and then all sorts of complicated things can happen on retreat.

A RIGHT IDEA MOTIVATES THE AWARENESS

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 8 (1:14:53-1:15:35)

Yogi: Yesterday I reported that sometimes the mind didn’t want to be aware and Sayadaw said that it was the delusion that didn’t want to be aware, that it was a tug-of-war between delusion and wisdom. 

Just this sentence made my motivation to be aware stronger. I felt more responsible for my awareness.

Sayadaw: Okay. 

AN ENCOUNTER WITH LOSING THE SENSE OF SELF

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 8 (27:15-29:56)

Yogi: When I woke up, there was no feeling of ‘me’. I was confused and frightened. The fear exploded and the ‘I’ came back. The fear subsided and I concentrated on my breath. 

Sayadaw: Actually, there’s no ‘I’, but when you woke up, the thing that keeps the ‘I’ alive in your mind is the thought of ‘me’. 

When you just woke up, the thought of ‘me’ couldn’t form; and that’s what you experienced. 

We have relied on ‘me’ our whole life; and when ‘I’ disappears, what do I rely on?

It’s a very strange and new experience.

Yogi: Can I do anything about it?

Sayadaw: It’s just the thought of ‘me’ that is gone. When you think, the thought of ‘me’ comes back. Don’t worry.

It is not so easy to lose the sense of self. 

CONDITIONS FOR INSIGHTS TO ARISE

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (13:12-17:09)

Yogi: How important is it to remember the insights intellectually – it could be very clear this moment, but come tomorrow, I don’t remember them exactly. Does the mind remember, or do I have to remember them?

Do I have to remember the insight by writing it down, or is the mind saving it somewhere?

Sayadaw: You don’t have to recall the insights – the mind does store it somewhere.

There are different levels of insight. Some insights are not very strong – it works now but does not in a different place, and you understand some insights for a while and they fade. More powerful insights last longer. 

So long as you keep being mindful, when the conditions are right, we’ll keep having insights.

The idea is to always have the conditions for insights to keep arising. One insight is not enough to entrench that insight in our mind – so, we have to keep refreshing insights, not by thinking about them, but by continuously being mindful so that insights are allowed to arise.

The insights, in and of themselves, are not so important or helpful to us because we can’t make them come. What we can do is be mindful.

We want to learn the skill of how to be mindful because it is mindfulness that makes the insights arise.

DEALING WITH DEPRESSION

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (08:45-12:45)

Sayadaw: You’re not like an ordinary yogi. You’re in the fight – you have got to really work and practice continuously.

For you, the attack is imminent and you have to be mindful continuously. 

Yogi: You say to watch the tiny depression, and if I don’t manage to do that, to watch the feeling of fear. Aren’t they the same, in a way?

Sayadaw: They are different – one is the depression that wants to come to you and the other is the reaction, the fear that it will increase. They are slightly different in nature, but in your experience they might be stuck together.

Watch whichever is more obvious. The little depression that wants to come, it is not really a problem if there is no fear. It is the fear that feeds it. 

For you, try to be mindful moment to moment; not thinking about or analyzing the experience. Stay with the present moment and not dwelling in the past or future.

And, if you stay in the present moment like that continuously, thoughts will stop coming in so much.

The source of your problem is too much thinking. The thoughts are very complicated and not very helpful or useful. To stop the obsessive thoughts, acknowledge them and come back to your object.

It doesn’t matter that they don’t stop – they do their job, and you acknowledge and come back to your object. You do this repeatedly.

It is important for you to understand that there is no need to believe those thoughts at all especially when the mind is in an unwholesome state, every thought is a wrong thought and shouldn’t be believed. That is why the mind feels so bad. 

WHEN AWARENESS IS CONSISTENT

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 10 (1:01:00-1:01:29)

Yogi: I’m getting more familiar with the defilements – I see the greed and aversion everywhere.

Sayadaw: That means that your awareness is everywhere.

OVERCOMING LOW ENERGY

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 8 (1:15:35-1:18:42)

Yogi: There was awareness but also a lack of energy. I asked myself if there was something I could investigate. 

I noticed that the mind was paying attention to the things I heard and decided to stay closer to just hearing sound – as a result, the mind was invigorated.

Sayadaw: When we’re low in energy, we need to investigate a little bit – this is how to wake up the interest. 

WHEN WE’RE MINDFUL, WE LEARN NOT TO OVEREXERT

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 9 (1:07-6:37)

Yogi: When I’m into the practice, I get terribly charged and it is so intense that I could go on without noticing if I’m hungry or I need sleep or I have to go to the toilet.

Sayadaw: This is the pattern of the mind that will just ramp up the energy without you trying. 

It’s a matter of finding out how much of that energy you need to do the things you need to do.

When I was busy running my business, I was more interested in maintaining the mindfulness. Although I was doing things quickly, I would be watching the mind. 

I used enough energy without overexerting. Wisdom will learn what is enough energy – and what is too much and what is too little – through mindfulness so that it can find the balance.

Yogi: I must be present to know how much effort I’m putting in. That’s where the interest came from, and it just wants to know how much do I press when I write.

Sayadaw: That’s right; you must do that much.

WE FEEL THE WAY WE THINK

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (1:05:33-1:07:41)

Yogi: In the first sit this morning, the stomach made a loud rumbling sound and I felt embarrassed. I saw that it was the expectation for a good, quiet sit that made me ashamed of the sound. When I realized that I could let it be – it was just the stomach doing its work – the shame vanished.

Sayadaw: These principles relate to many things in our life, but we don’t immediately see the principles when we experience something. 

But if we understand the principles deeply about something like this, then the deeper the understanding, the more easily we see it in other scenarios. 

AWARENESS DOES NOT IMMEDIATELY BRING IN RIGHT DECISIONS

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (46:30-49:30)

Yogi: It is not so easy for big daily-life decisions to be guided by awareness-wisdom and be right.

Sayadaw: Relook at our idea that if we have some sort of wisdom that it is going to be okay right away. It is not, more so in life.

We’re used to living life the way we do – if we have mindfulness, it is not going to bring in the wisdom that will help solve our problem today.

Today, you have this problem and you don’t know what decision to make, so you’re mindful and make this decision and this is the result. It could be a good or not so good result and there is some learning – it is going to be a process of learning at home from the decisions you make and the results you get over and over again, changing decisions, changing conditions and changing the way you think about things – all of them – until the mind gets to a point where it understands what thoughts and decisions hurt the mind and then it makes the choices that bring better and better results. 

Yogi: The better choices and results are for whom?

Sayadaw: If it is truly right for this mind, if it is truly wholesome and wise, it has a wholesome effect on those around us.

KAMMA AND PERSONAL CHOICE

Swiss Retreat 2019 Group Interviews 7 (03:00-6:18)

Yogi: When the experience of every moment is the result of the past, do we even have a choice?

Sayadaw: There are 2 kinds of result – the results of the actions of the past, so you can’t change it, and there are the results yet to come that are determined partly by what has passed and partly by the present moment which you have a choice with.

For example, now you’re tired which is a result of something in the past and you can’t change the tiredness but in the present moment, you can choose how you want to deal with the mind. 

The mind can have the right thought and right view and it will feel better even when the body is tired.

Or, the mind can have wrong view and complain, so the body is tired and the mind is also stressed.

In the present moment, that is the choice the mind has. If the mind is trained, it has more choices to be positive.

In the moment, we can have wisdom that gives us better decisions and better choices or we can be deluded, and delusion doesn’t give us the best choices.

With every experience, we have a choice to respond with a wholesome response or unwholesome response. 

Yogi: Is it actually a choice or a feeling of having a choice?

Sayadaw: There is no freedom to choose if there is no wisdom; it will only seem like you have a choice.